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Author Topic: Frottage  (Read 6115 times)

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Offline Sprinkles1234

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« on: July 30, 2013, 01:54:08 AM »
Hey everyone. I would like to ask some questions about possibel exposure.
I met with a poz guy. And we started to have oral sex. I didnt have any open sores or ulcers in my mouth but as I am a heavy smoker, i have this weird throat all times kind of a sore throat not that I am sick but it has a different feeling. Anyways, after performing oral sex, he put lots of lube on his penis and startes to rub on my anus. I was not penetrated, i know how it feels when even the glans penis is inside me and the feeling had nothing to do with it. But as there was a lot of lube Im not sure if the tip has slid 1-2 Milimeters? After that I said i was uncomfortable and we ejaculated together . But after this situation I felt really anxious because of the possible exposure in this. I went to a clinic and told the clinician that I want PEP even if it was 5 days later than my sex. I think I wouldnt even care if normally this thing has happened to me but knowing he was poz. I was scared. I started to sesrch evidences on my body. I found lymph nodes of 4 mm not sensible on my neck. As i had this encounter 2 months ago, since then the lymph nodes didnt change at all. After 1 week of this frottage, i had a cloudy discharge from the tip of my penis. So i started to freak out (but my roommate had the same problem at the same time i did, as we share towels etc. i am not sure if it was frottage or with him).
I started to have panic attacks with hot flashes( my body temperature didnt go up, but i felt hot on my head and feels like blushing of shame and i started to go on Xanax) but the weird thing is these hot flashes duration was only 1-2 hours and then it goes away.. Does this have anything to do with ARS fever? And what about the lymph nodes when a person has a primary inf.? I know that they are non specific but to comfort my stress i might need some general knowledge about it. After that, i started to have urticaria. Some parts of my body itches and when i scratch it the bump grows. It is usually a white/flesh bump and as i scratch it it grows and grows. And i still suffer from that even when writing this post. I feel like I have flashbacks of the situation and My arms start to itch. The rash is usually local and only one bump or two which grow and go away in 24-48 hours. But it still goes on even after 2 months.. ARS RAsh is like that?
My main concerns are :
Is it a risk when he rubbed his penis around my hole or maybe slid 1-2 or even 3 milimeters inside as my cheeks were open. ( but no actual penetration, didnt feel the penis head or anyparts inside me)
Please help me even now while writing I am not even sure what happened that day.
Pretty anxious here..

Offline Ann

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Re: Frottage
« Reply #1 on: July 30, 2013, 07:53:49 AM »
Sprinkles, (Sprinkles? Seriously?)

I'm doing a Captain Picard face-palm here. Were you successful in getting PEP over this NO RISK situation? Five days after the event? If you were, that health care provider should have his or her licence to practice revoked because they don't know what the hell they're doing. Even if you did have a risk (you did NOT have a risk), five days is waaay too late to initiate PEP.

You yourself admit that you would have known if you were penetrated. Forget this x amount of millimeter penetration - you're letting your imagination run away with you.

You're only freaking out because this guy was honest and let you know he's hiv positive. I have to wonder how many guys you've been with in the past who only thought they were hiv negative - or outright lied. How many guys have you been with where that discussion just never took place? You need to assume that ANYONE you're with is hiv positive and protect yourself accordingly by USING CONDOMS for anal (or vaginal) intercourse.

While you do not need to test for hiv specifically over this non-event, as a sexually active adult you should be having a FULL sexual health check up at least once a year, or more often if you have more than one sexual partner. While frottage is NOT a risk for hiv infection, it most definitely IS a risk for some of the other, MUCH more easily transmitted STIs such as herpes and syphilis.

Herpes and syphilis, UNLIKE hiv, are transmitted through skin-to-skin contact. Syphilis infections are on the rise and because the initial lesions (chancres) are painless, they often go unnoticed. If you don't see it, you wouldn't know it's there. Many of the STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms; that's why regular sexual health check ups are essential.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST FOR HIV SPECIFICALLY OVER FROTTAGE, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Frottage
« Reply #2 on: July 30, 2013, 08:44:27 AM »
I m sorry you are having such a terrible time.

You had absolutely NO risk for HIV whatsoever, and I am very happy that you were not prescribed PEP for the events you described. It really raises my faith in the medical system when it actually uses science and not hysterics to dispense expensive and potentially intrusive medicine you did not need.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Sprinkles1234

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Re: Frottage
« Reply #3 on: July 31, 2013, 01:46:53 PM »
Hello again,
Thank you for your fast answers both of you. Well, they have prescribed me. I don't know if it was because I was way too anxious or they just wanted to get rid of me. But I keep some of the pills which I will be donating for those who are in need. My concern still is buzzing in my head, I can not get rid of thinking what happened that day. There were a lot of lube so I can not just say that there was no sliding inside a little bit. I am sure that the glans(head) of the penis was not inside. That I am sure of it. But he forced and I could feel the pressure around the sphincter. So the forcing happened only for 1-2 seconds and I  said to stop and asked him if he was inside me. He said No. But still just the half of the penis head might have been slided inside for 1-2 seconds. Am I at risk? Or no risk? He had a very big penis so, i am sure there was no unsafe sex but just a temptation of sliding inside maybe half of the penis inside for 1-2 seconds.
And the penile discharge scares me too as it can happen by penetration.
Anyways thank you in advance.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Frottage
« Reply #4 on: July 31, 2013, 01:57:38 PM »
Fears and doubts are not facts. And there is nothing in what you have reported to suggest that you had actual penetration and a for real risk for HIV transmission.

You can waste assets and funds if you want to go ahead and get tested just for your own peace of mind. It's totally unnecessary and of course you will just get the inevitable negative result. That's up to you to decide if you want to do that.

There's really nothing more to add to what has already been said to you. Cut it out and get on with your life. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline Sprinkles1234

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Re: Frottage
« Reply #5 on: August 01, 2013, 10:24:55 PM »
Hello again,
Thank you a lot. I should stop trying to find out if it was dipping or just frottage. Because the more I think about it, the more I think it slided inside me. I have read a lot of people concerning the frottage/dipping problemstic on the forum. And you can not imagine how frustrating it is to think and rethink if there was actual penetration occured or not... The only thing I can remember that my sphincter hurt as he wanted to slide it a little bit. But not that painful, stars flying in your eyes kind of pain but more like the first step of inserting it when it hurts the outside.. Would it still be a risk if he forced my sphincter and hurt it a little bit or maybe slided 1 inch? I am talking theoratically as I didnt measure it?
And the dipping is a very considersable risk even if it might not be my case?
I might be worrying needlessly and maybe would have never thought and thought again if i hadnt known about his status...
Anyways i thank you guys all
With love..

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Frottage
« Reply #6 on: August 01, 2013, 10:39:55 PM »
Hi Sprinkles . You have been given the best advice already so my I suggest you read your thread here again , its all there .

Ann answered your x amount of millimeter penetration fear and much more .JK told you that you did not have a risk and Andy told you to go get tested if you must .

You have come back saying you were penetrated now so , I think its just anxiety and not a case of suddenly remembering a penis in your bum so the only thing to do is test at 6 weeks past the no risk event and again at 3 months to confirm your imagination ran away with you .

If you are not sure if you had unprotected sex then go test .
HIV 101 - Basics
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PEP and PrEP


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