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Author Topic: Rish assessment: Frottage/Dipping?  (Read 4365 times)

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Offline FretsAlot

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Rish assessment: Frottage/Dipping?
« on: June 05, 2013, 05:41:33 PM »
Firstly, I wanted to thank you guys (and girls) for providing this service. I've read many posts for education and interest, and toward my question today (so as to not waste your time, but couldn't find a thread specific to my Q). I understand what you do is voluntary, which makes it all the more admirable. So bless you all.

So, to me - and sorry if wordy; just trying to be specific.

I've never once i my life participated in any risk activity - low or high - which makes this is all the more fretful for me (read: going bonkers..like a basket case here). I'm not quite ready-for-therapy neurotic, but well and healthy slightly-neurotic about everything safe so I'm going bat-$hit crazy with stress!

I was fooling around with a guy..kissing, heavy petting etc. And we began what I guess is called frottage - rubbing my penis around his back end and between his legs - everything that's to my knowledge ZERO risk activity.

So..the 'but'...I was sliding my penis between his cheeks teasing, and up against him with the head and it 'popped' in...like, slid in there. No mistaking. And I'm pretty certain, I slid it back and inwards and knowing it WAS indeed in, said 'nuh-uh, no way,sorry, man'...and that was that.
I'm not an experienced top - but I've done it before a couple times protected and I'd say, yup, it went inside.

Ok, so stupid stupid me..I entered the guy, didn't mean or intend to, but there you have it.

Now the anxiety. In the morning, I see I chafed along side just under the head. Red and a bit raw. Didn't appear to be blood or an open sore. But on closer inspection, looks like I nicked it - like a small cut and some broken raw skin. It looks like something I've done before from enthusiastic masturbating and guess the frottaging rubbed it raw and ticked a nick or at least chafed it to the point of a nick and small 'wound'.  So it 'could' be a cut (I know, how do I NOT know? I'm not that flexible lol). But we're going with definitely chafed, sore, likely a small cut here. No visible bleeding, but tantamount to a paper cut and an abrasion that broke the skin.

Ok, so risk assessment here. I'ts a bunch of IF THIS+ IF THAT...if he's positive (and I understand we always go with the assumption he is)..IF the 'dip' is anal sex...if the one slip in and out tears a lining..if he bled...if blood got on the cut..if it's a cut.
I know....a lot of 'ifs'...but these are 'ifs' I've never in my life had to question.

The yeses as best as I can figure: I entered. I have a penis cut.
The nos as best as I can figure: No aggressive entrance (ie no rough or prolonged penetration. No blood on penis (that I know of - checked in am, not then).

So, yeah..going mental. Will still test, because it's responsible to anyway. But looking for insight/opinions (maybe even less stress lol).
And..thank you

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Rish assessment: Frottage/Dipping?
« Reply #1 on: June 05, 2013, 05:46:53 PM »
What you descrived would most generously be called "dipping," and it is ridiculously low risk.

Add that to the fact that HIV is significantly more difficult to transmit from bottom to top, and I wouldn't even recommend organizing a testing schedule over this situation.

In the ten years and change since I have been giving risk assessment on this forum, I have never had an insertive partner test positive over a condom break, which is significantly more risky than what you described.

However, telling you not to give it another thought is not going to necessarily make you stop giving it other thoughts. So if you must, for peace of mind, then test at six weeks and again at three months. Not because I think you need it, but because you seem pretty upset about it.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline FretsAlot

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Re: Rish assessment: Frottage/Dipping?
« Reply #2 on: June 05, 2013, 06:03:42 PM »
the prompt reply is greatly appreciated.
you're right, I havent a magic switch to turn off stress (lol, don't we all wish) and pretty much what you said I assumed or gathered from the forum here itself. But it sure is nice to hear it from someone, so again, thank you.

Not to belabour an issue (I'm taking what you say on faith and a good ounce of common sense) but of course, we're all of us human, and stress is a bastich creature.
I think it's the whole 'nicked/cut/abrased tissue' thing...I mean, what I don't know is, does the well, bum inside HAVE blood generally present? Like, would normal 'anal' fluids carry the virus, or would I have had to nicked him inside as well? And my cut? I really just don't know what constitutes a viable entrance to a virus, because I can't discern now if it cut/tore/opened on my end.

I guess a lot of us do the back and forth thing. Convince myself I'm being silly: it was but 2 seconds, I didn't tear him, who even says he has hiv, the window/likelihood is ridiculously remote, who says my cut is 'open' , hed have to have bled over it etc ....to the converse - but i entered him, but i nicked my dick, but there's a chance etc.

I know. This is assessment. Not therapy :) Those are my issues. They just happen to be first ever damn scary ones.

As always, thanks for your response. Since I haven't come across the dip/nicked thread yet, hopefully, this will help someone else.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Rish assessment: Frottage/Dipping?
« Reply #3 on: June 05, 2013, 09:45:31 PM »
Well, we have no dearth of dipping threads - and many of them either start with or devolve into a series of caveats. Bruised penis, abraded penis, lesion on penis (seriously) and the like. I am pretty certain "nicked penis" will sit, maybe in the midst of those.

Because it is essentially the same thing. If your penis was compromised enough to allow HIV into the bloodstream, please hear this: you would not be erect. You would be in a fetal position, blood pouring from your lacerated organ. Well, maybe a shade or two lighter than that, but essentially, you would NOT nick your penis to the point where it competed with your urethra as a vulnerable opening for HIV transmission. We can seriously take that (gingerly) off the table.

You have had an exceedingly low risk, but if you need to test for peace of mind, go for it. I would be shocked beyond measure if the events you described led to an HIV infection.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread


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