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Author Topic: Fingered or Insertive Anal Sex  (Read 4347 times)

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Offline RedBeatle

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Fingered or Insertive Anal Sex
« on: June 05, 2013, 09:30:15 AM »
Hello guys and girls.

I tested negative for HIV late last year, way out of the window period of my last encounters.

I met this guy at a club a few weeks ago, I don't know his HIV status so I just assume that everyone is HIV+. I was slightly drunk but not in a drunk mess way (I know, bad combination- trust me have I learned my lesson!).
Anyway, so we went back to his house. We engaged in deep kissing, frot and frottage, all of which I know are not risks of HIV. (Other STDs, Yes...but that's for another place). No oral sex.

Anyway, he lubricated his dick and my dick whilst we were engaging in Frot. We were kissing, and I felt something go up my ass. I dismissed this as being fingered (I had been anally fingered before) as I was still wearing my underpants. I then felt some mild pain and considered that it was two fingers or maybe deep fingering. We were still kissing at this point. Once that had finished, I noticed that my underwear was slightly down my bottom, so I lifted it up to ensure nothing else happened and I remember thinking that "nothing else gets put up there" (i.e. a penis). I remember afterwards, just feeling really bored. As they was no oral? I assume that if I had just engaged in anal sex for the first time then I would have scream? been in pain? not bored?

After this we got fully naked and under the covers and mutually masturbated. None of his cum went on me (I know that the only risk of HIV is unprotected anal/vagina sex). I also remember during the mutual masturbation, he was spitting on his finger and lubing his dick, perhaps to engage in anal sex. Once I had blown he seemed disappointed and masturbated himself. That was the end of it.

I know, I should not drink and sleep around and I have learned that lesson. As I left I told myself not to get paranoid and that I didn't have anal/oral sex...so not to worry. I have never ever had anal sex. However, now I think that the 'fingering' could actually be penetration?

Basically, what I am driving at (Sorry, for going on!). As I have never had anal sex. Do you think I would know if I had been anally penetrated? I know you guys weren't there I don't know how it feels to have a penis up my ass. I also expect as I am a virgin in that sense, I would have a lot of pain, even with lube? Would I be able to tell if I was fingered or penetrated? is it just my anxiety getting the best of me. Should I test?   I know you don't do what if's but perhaps he inserted his dick. Everytime I masturbate I feel pain in my ass!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Fingered or Insertive Anal Sex
« Reply #1 on: June 05, 2013, 11:07:43 AM »
Red, yah I definitely think you would have known if you had been anally penetrated, especially since it would have been a virgin experience for you. But if you are going to have this nagging on your mind there is a very simple solution: get tested. A negative a 6 weeks all but guarantees it will be negative again at 3 months for a conclusive result.

I am only suggesting this as a solution strictly for your peace of mind and not because I think you had a for real risk. Nothing of what you have described of sexual play would have put you at risk for HIV. I would expect you to test negative if you decide to do that.

Hopefully you have scared yourself enough this time to avoid mixing casual sex with drinking too much in the future. Have all the sex play you want to. Just do it the safer and sober way. 
Andy Velez

Offline RedBeatle

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Re: Fingered or Insertive Anal Sex
« Reply #2 on: June 06, 2013, 10:49:50 AM »
Thanks Andy.

I know this sounds crazy. I do suffer from health anxiety.

However, when the 'finger/penis' was up my ass, it felt like it was pushing the two ass cheeks aside. Could fingering feel like this? Now, I have fingered myself a few times to see if it was the right sensation and it doesn't seem quite right to what I remember. My friend start anal sex was like pooing but in reverse...I didn't quite feel that...but I did feel the two cheeks being pushed against heavily.

At the time, I dismissed it as fingering but now I am scared straight that it was most likely too much pressure for it to be a finger. I was told by a friend that I dwell too much on this event. However, I do remember thinking that this was how it felt to be anally penetrated (I think but then it took two weeks to be like "maybe it was a penis".) After my last HIV test, I was sure I had it. (Only had oral sex performed on me a few times, however, I started creating what if scenarios)

Do you think I am dwelling too much? would I really know the difference between a penis or finger? perhaps I should go for therapy instead?

Offline Ann

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Re: Fingered or Insertive Anal Sex
« Reply #3 on: June 06, 2013, 11:29:13 AM »

Unless this guy had a tiny, needle dick, you'd know the difference between a finger and a penis.

Yes, I think you're dwelling on this far too much and yes, perhaps therapy is in order for you.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline RedBeatle

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Re: Fingered or Insertive Anal Sex
« Reply #4 on: June 12, 2013, 05:22:51 PM »
Thanks guys.

Although I don't want to keep going on.

I remember feeling a lot of discomfort anally at the time, I had to close my eyes. Although I am pretty sure at that time my belly was facing towards him, therefore my anus was facing away.
I know something fell out of my ass (a bit of poo) I thought at the time, because he stopped and got up, whilst I readjusted my underwear ensuring that as I thought at the time (nothing else gets put up there i.e. his dick). Although this could have been his dick? He was lubed.

would a finger or two be enough to give me pain to close my eyes? I am not use to anal fingering, especially deep fingering. Afterwards I got home and had really loose stools.

I know symptoms are not the way of diagnosing HIV but I have been fine and it's now 7 weeks post exposure.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Fingered or Insertive Anal Sex
« Reply #5 on: June 12, 2013, 05:48:37 PM »
Hi Red ... I agree with both moderator Ann and Andy . The bottom line is the responsible thing to is to have sexual health checkups at least once a year , so waiting 6 weeks and then begin your new yearly tradition of sexual health checkups , this way you are being responsible and removing this nagging notion that you may have done something you are unaware of ... I doubt you did so if you test it will be for peace of mind .     
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