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Author Topic: Am I being ridiculously anxious?  (Read 1395 times)

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Offline newtothis1

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Am I being ridiculously anxious?
« on: May 28, 2013, 12:22:22 PM »

Before we start, I suffer from severe anxiety (I'm currently going CBT, which obviously isn't working or I wouldn't be here).

6 weeks ago I had unprotected sex for about 10 minutes with someone who says they're HIV negative (I was Top), I'm still in touch with and gets regular tests. Now I spend a lot of my time (even after being tested negative) worrying I have/going to get anyway, if it's not HIV it's cancer. I know I was very stupid in this situation, as I know there's risks and I have caused my own anxiety here but I was very very drunk (no excuse).

I have had diarrhoea for a couple of days, but I have also been abroad and only been back a week. I also get a bad stomach when I get anxious, so it's a never ending cycle cycle.

Am I reading too much into this? The guy got very uppity with me when I questioned his results and he was very positive he's HIV negative.

I have booked myself in for a test anyway tomorrow regardless.

Thanks for reading this ridiculous ramble.


Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Am I being ridiculously anxious?
« Reply #1 on: May 28, 2013, 03:01:23 PM »
Well, I won't say you are being ridiculous, but I hope you address this recent development with your therapist to make certain it doesn't set you back in your CBT.

You have had a low risk in the scenario you describe (we always give risk assessment assuming your partner is HIV positive AND has a high viral load) but it is not zero risk, You are doing the right thing by testing.

A test at six weeks should offer you a great deal of comfort, as it is EXTREMELY unlikely to change. A test at the three month period, however, is still considered definitive.

I will add this - in the ten plus years I have been doing risk assessment on this forum, I have yet to see a single insertive partner (top) test positive over a condom break/failure. That's with thousands, perhaps tens of thousands of similar situations. I have every faith that my record will remain unbroken.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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Offline Ann

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Re: Am I being ridiculously anxious?
« Reply #2 on: May 29, 2013, 07:23:41 AM »

You need to wise up and stop asking people their hiv status as a way to remain hiv negative. That's not hiv prevention, that's asking for it. And by "it", I mean hiv. You need to assume anyone you have anal (or vaginal) intercourse with is hiv positive and protect yourself accordingly by using condoms.

Hiv prevention involves using condoms every time, regardless of what a person claims to know about their hiv status. Serosorting only works when a poz person tells you they're poz. Someone telling you they're negative isn't worth the proverbial paper it's written on.

Many people do not accurately know their hiv status, they only think they're hiv negative. Even if this guy is testing regularly, if he's barebacking with you he's probably barebacking with others.

He could very well have tested negative on his last test, but became infected the week after. Someone newly infected can have an extremely high viral load and therefore be extremely infectious.

And you know, some people will lie about their hiv status. It sucks, but it's true. Most of us want to insure our virus stops with us, but some people just don't give a shit.

Jonathan is absolutely correct in every thing he said about your risk level and testing. You have had a risk and you do need to test.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Good luck with your testing - and please, please, PLEASE wise up and stop having unprotected intercourse!

Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline newtothis1

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Re: Am I being ridiculously anxious?
« Reply #3 on: May 29, 2013, 09:28:59 AM »
Went today for my test. The doctor advised it was highly unlikely but gettin tested will sort out whether I have or haven't.

I'm confident that's everything will be fine but I am more than aware I was silly, as every other time I am always safe.


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