Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
January 23, 2018, 03:09:52 PM

Login with username, password and session length

  • Total Members: 32199
  • Latest: fer1750
  • Total Posts: 725478
  • Total Topics: 59145
  • Online Today: 321
  • Online Ever: 1421
  • (August 13, 2016, 05:18:44 AM)
Users Online


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: Hello  (Read 2097 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline notimeforthat

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
« on: May 14, 2013, 11:10:43 PM »

I tested positive in 1994. I also had an inconclusive test some months after that in another state and was asked to return and test again. I never did. I lived in some seriously deep denial for 18 years which was stupidly reinforced by near perfect health (despite being a very heavy daily drinker, smoker and paying zero attention to my health) and very jesusy family that was absolutely certain that through divine intervention this had in fact been "taken away". 

Last year I had 2 month long period of losing a lot of weight and was always feeling exhausted. It went away and I gained the weight back and was my normal self. I didn't give it any thought other than I got the flu right along with everyone else at my work; shit happens and ...I am superman after all.

Several months later I was in the hospital throwing up blood caused by a few small tears in my esophagus caused by esophageal candidiasis. The doctor asked me if he could test me for HIV. I was shocked and though I kept it to myself, I was pissed off. I got out of that hospital as fast as they would let me (the rising $60,000 bill didn't help). Before I left the nurse gave me some literature from what I now know is one of the local organizations that administers all the "hiv/aids stuff". I threw it out when  I got home and went about my business.

Over this past holiday season I got the flu again, right along with everyone else only it didn't really go away. Coughing, weight loss, going to bed right after work, the candidiasis came back, I was a mess. My mother hounded me to go see a doctor (hadn't been to a doctor since 1994 except for the recent hospitalization).

After a couple months of feeling miserable, again ...and doing some uncomfortable thinking. I went and got tested. The hiv test came back positive. The doctor advised that once the rest of blood work came back we would take it from there, gave me some antibiotics and gave me some scenarios depending on what the numbers were, one of which was "and if you actually have AIDS...", my first thought was "don't you ever say that to me again." That shocked me and made me angry.

I went back two weeks later; cd4 29, viral load 160k. Started Stribild that day and have been on it for almost 5 weeks. The first few days, randomly and out of the blue I would think "you have aids." I have gotten used to the idea. I also feel better than I have in two years, gained back 17lbs in the last 3-4 weeks, and most importantly I feel like an overbearing burden/monkey that I wasn't even aware was there, is gone.

So that's my story in all it's tedium and poor grammar. Hello.

Offline Jeff G

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 17,062
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Hello
« Reply #1 on: May 14, 2013, 11:17:33 PM »
Welcome to the forum Notime . I want to thank you for sharing your story , it may just be the story that's gets someone to test or into treatment , it may save a life .

HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Theyer

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,695
  • Current ambition. Walk the Dog .
Re: Hello
« Reply #2 on: May 15, 2013, 08:10:23 AM »
Welcome  Superman and thanks for sharing your story so clearly, I would be very surprised if someone who reads this will get alone and get test that bit earlier, therefore giving themselves the best possible start in dealing with there HIV. Which is what Jeff said but good things can be repeated.
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline pozapril2013

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: Hello
« Reply #3 on: May 15, 2013, 12:31:30 PM »
OMG Notime!
 I would like to thank you for posting...Same story here without the illness. I also am on Stribild but only 2 weeks....I wish I would have tested earlier...but didn't see the need....now its AIDS....I haven't truly wrapped my head around that but I am thinking about the AIDS less and looking forward to my next Labs..

I am sorry this has happened to you but you just gave me a breath of hope...look forward to your numbers rising!
4/13 CD4 54 -VL 500,000

Offline weasel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,873
Re: Hello
« Reply #4 on: May 15, 2013, 04:35:54 PM »

    Hi  Notime ,
                      I'm glad to meet you  :)

     I hope you are doing well   , no one likes to hear " You have AIDS "
    Brings back many memories for me .

    Life goes on OK  for most of us  ,  Taking our MEDS does the trick .

                                             Be  well ,
" Live and let Live "

Offline Theyer

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,695
  • Current ambition. Walk the Dog .
Re: Hello
« Reply #5 on: May 17, 2013, 12:44:54 PM »
Last time someone asked wether I had aids I told them, sincerely , off the bath handles , commode and occasional use off walking stick.

It really does get that old.
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline notimeforthat

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Re: Hello
« Reply #6 on: May 21, 2013, 09:55:22 PM »
Thanks All.

I started Stribild April,10 this year. Went in to get results from second lab drawn May,7 . VL went down to 50 from 166k. The person who took the blood however apparently did not include, or forgot to take the sample to be tested for cd4s and all that stuff...(what?! gotta be kiddin me) so I don't have results for that and have to wait another 6 weeks to see where we are on that. Disappointing, though next time I will insist they double check to make sure they have and send what needs to be sent and have it identified correctly. They may not like it, but oh well.

I wasn't allowing myself to get to optimistic prior to going in and getting the results, but I'm pleased with what did come back. And, just as importantly I feel like a million bucks. It's been quite awhile since I haven't felt like I was just falling ( literally ;p ) apart.



Terms of Membership for these forums

© 2017 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.