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Author Topic: Well, here it goes...  (Read 5368 times)

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Offline harleylover

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Well, here it goes...
« on: October 16, 2006, 03:36:43 PM »
Can I just tell my story? My crazy summer. My husband and I found out on our 8th wedding anniversary that he tested HIV positive. We found out after he spent 8 days in the hospital with pneumonia. (The day after our dog was hit and killed by a car). I was tested the next day and found out that I am negative. Not only that, but we have 2 beautiful daughters together. 7 and 2. All of us girls are negative. Thank god. I have been consistantly exposed to HIV for 9 years and am still negative. I have never heard of this. My husband was also in the hospital for 10 days with crypto meningitis. He has survived all of these things amazingly. He is back at his construction job and gets stronger every day. He has responded well(for the most part) to the medications. The labs continue to improve for now.
Here is the kicker, 19 years ago my husband was tracked down (in the middle of nowhere) by the state DOH. They said that he may have been exposed to HIV. He was taken to a dirty house, blood drawn. The man said to my husband, "I will be in contact with you with the results." My husband never heard from him again. He assumed that it was negative (being an immortal 20 something hetero alpha male). That was just a gay disease back then, nothing that happened in the midwest. Sorry, I digress. It turns out that my husband has been HIV+ for 20 years. This man said that he informed my husband of his HIV status AND HE DIDN'T. My husband may be dying and this could have been prevented. He could have started his medical treatment so long ago and wouldn't have full blown aids now. This man lied and because of it my daughters probably won't have a father for too much longer.
We don't know where to turn. We are so angry, but living in a small midwestern town where we can't let anyone know his status.
I look forward to any feedback.

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: Well, here it goes...
« Reply #1 on: October 16, 2006, 04:52:43 PM »
Hello Harleylover,

What an amazing story about your husband who has unfortunately contracted HIV/AIDS. The incident (19) nineteen years ago could have contributed to this. However, it is good that your husband now knows of his status so that he can take the proper action with his health. This is most important. He needs your support and comfort more than anything else right now. Please DO make sure that he takes his medicine as it has been prescribed by his Doctor.

Also, you may want to get him on a multi-vitamin, some Omega 3, and change his eating diet. In the construction field he is getting a lot of exercise daily. Please assure that he gets his proper rest.

I wish to extend to you and your husband a warm WELCOME to the forums. Here you will find encouragement, communication, understanding, support, some cries, some laughter, and many of your questions relating to HIV/AIDS answered. We have a great group of people who will listen as well as answer you. Please DO what you can to educate yourself on HIV/AIDS. There is a lot of information on this site which is at your disposal.

Please DO feel free to come and vent from time-to-time with whatever is on your mind.

Again, welcome, and make the BEST of each Day!

Offline weasel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,873
Re: Well, here it goes...
« Reply #2 on: October 16, 2006, 05:10:17 PM »
hello Harley lover ,

                            I also had been HIV for 18 years
before turning full blown AIDS Sept 2004 !
My 50th Birthday present was an ass-hole  doctor telling me I had full blown AIDS ! I did not even know I had HIV ...............
the HATE RAGE and  all that goes with it  goes away with time .

My partner of 25 years is NOT HIV poz ,GOD only knows why .

 The meds they have now do a GREAT job of controlling the virus !

You May find  MENTAL  issues  the real problem !

By all means   Make sure that all  medications  , over the counter type  are NOT filtered though the liver !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 I live in the Heart Land  ,hiding  is a huge  issue ,I do not care if they know about  me  being queer ,but HIV is just not a topic to let out .

 I wish you all the luck in the world , and please know  GOD is there
and he will be your biggest help. Because with out  his support
living in  Hooter Ville can be  Hell .

                                               wishing you the best , been there,
" Live and let Live "

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,389
  • Member 2005
Re: Well, here it goes...
« Reply #3 on: October 16, 2006, 07:44:02 PM »
I wouldnt put to much weight in the last part of your kids not having a father...   Work on the anger and work on gettting rid of it...  It serves no purpose today....  Live and Love and take care of yourselves.  Welcome to AM and I hope in time you can forgive and live...  This is a great place to release....


Offline harleylover

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: Well, here it goes...
« Reply #4 on: October 16, 2006, 08:06:35 PM »
I did sound kind of angry. I am kind of angry. But not all of the time. I know life isn't fair. Never has been. My goal in life right now is to keep my husband healthy, med compliant and as happy as possible. I am just afraid of losing him.
I am so glad there is a place out here to talk openly.
Thank you for that.

Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Posts: 12,265
  • Ninja Please
Re: Well, here it goes...
« Reply #5 on: October 16, 2006, 08:10:07 PM »

Don't feel bad because you're angry. Angry can be a good thing. It's healthy to feel pissed off at the injustices that beset us from time to time. Matty the Damned does a fine line in angry and it's never done him any harm.

Well except for that whole hitting a bigot with a barstool thing and the bigot came off second best. ;)

The trick is not to move beyond angry into bitter and I don't see any trace of bitterness in what you're saying here. Embrace your anger. It can help motivate you to fix things.



Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 31,926
Re: Well, here it goes...
« Reply #6 on: October 21, 2006, 09:04:39 AM »
Dear Harley,

I'm glad you have found your way to this site.

It's good to read that your husband has recovered sufficiently to have returned to work. Despite the severity of his recent illness that doesn't mean he can't get on with having a good long life.

His getting good medical care regularly will be essential to maintaining his health. Will that be available to him?

It's a great blessing that you have remained HIV negative. To be secure about your negative status you do need to be using condoms from here on in whenever you have intercourse. They provide very effective protection.

Of course it's totally reprehensible behavior professionally and on a humane level that he wasn't properly informed about his status. Thank heavens angels were watching over you and your daughters so that you've all remained HIV negative.

You're always welcome here to ask questions as well as to discuss anything that's on your mind.

You can't undo the past but you can do things now to insure having a good future with your family.

Again, welcome.

Andy Velez


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