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Author Topic: Positive partner  (Read 2847 times)

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Offline fudge

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Positive partner
« on: April 09, 2013, 06:59:04 pm »
Ive been with my HIV partner for four months now, his status really makes no difference to me.Possibly as i have friends who are positive and I'm studying  public health so i know a lot about it. Are relationship is very good apart from some times, i think he tries to push me away sometimes thinking he doesn't deserve to be with me, he has suffered from depression before and I'm sure the mix of med are not helping. For my part i do understand why i know he had difficulties when he disclosed before, and i am trying to get him to open up more to me. But yes i admit there are sometimes when i just feel out of my debt.
I am so mad about him he is amazing its just the odd time when he gets like this
Any suggestions?

Offline Ann

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Re: Positive partner
« Reply #1 on: April 10, 2013, 07:32:38 am »
Hi Fudge, welcome to the forums.

I removed your post from the other thread you posted in (Boyfriend Positive) and created your own thread with it. Having your own thread will keep your situation and concerns from getting mixed up with the other person's.

What are his meds? Some are known for causing depression or making depression worse, and some are not.

How long has he been diagnosed? A lot of newly diagnosed people feel like "damaged goods" from time to time and everyone has different triggers that can set off these feelings. (Until we learn how to disable the triggers, that is. Some people never completely get the hang of it.)

It can take some major adjustments in one's life and outlook to come to terms with having hiv. He may still be processing it all and that may mean he needs space - and so sometimes pushes you away.

Is he getting counselling? Has he talked to his doctor about being depressed? Depression is very common in hiv positive people and it's nothing to be ashamed about. It's just one of those things we deal with.

Have you considered counselling yourself? It can really help to have an impartial, third person to talk things over with.

If you can tell us a little more (ie. meds), we may be of more help.

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Offline fudge

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Re: Positive partner
« Reply #2 on: April 10, 2013, 07:48:24 am »
Hi he is on

He was diagnosed five years ago. As far as i know he did councelling and he has been doing courses with the local sexual health clinic i do notice when he does thoose he comes back feeling a lot calmer the woman there are amazing and they have offered to speak to  me one on one or as a couple if we wish, i have options for councelling which is cool. I know he regonises that he takes stuff out on me and wants to stop, he has mentioned going to speak to his doctor about it . i guess i just dont want to be pushy about it he has to do these things in his own time. Its just getting him to open up which he is starting to do talking about what erks him but on bad day it can be anything just a sentence that will send him in a spiral of depression, he has attempted suicide before and it was before he was diagnosied . Im not painting a good picture . but he is amazing , i just think he needs to find the  right tools to cope with this. Im i crazy ?? see i see the world as amazing place regardless , i meet and talk to people all the time that have done so much and been through so much , i enjoy life everyday , and yes i am a very "positve" person no pun intended . He is the first guy i met in a long time that i truly  trust he knows all this , i dont know maybe its that our relationship is so different from his past ones that he doesnt know how to cope with it .ok thats my unloading for the day thanks for reading all advice welcome


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