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Author Topic: Another freakout topic. need help  (Read 1965 times)

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Offline Mementomori

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Another freakout topic. need help
« on: March 10, 2013, 11:28:51 AM »
About 2.5 years ago I met someone off an internet site and gave them oral sex. only lasted about 5 mins, no cum just precum. I have read lots of previous oral threads , but then there is also someone who reported in the " just tested positive" forum that he was infected through giving oral.
After the act 2.5 years, 1.5 - 2 months later i developed an infection which gave me a low grade fever , chest infection which i was bloodtested , not an hiv test. and received antibiotics for. There was no rash or anything. I followed the previous advice from Teak at medhelp and started dating dating a - girl and we had unprotected vaginal/anal sex for about a year straight. She recently tested negative.

I am still scared about that oral session. so i got tested and now have bad anxiety for the next 7-10 days. Any help and advice is much appreciated thank you.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Another freakout topic. need help
« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2013, 01:33:20 PM »
You never had an exposure to HIV.

Offline Mementomori

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Re: Another freakout topic. need help
« Reply #2 on: March 10, 2013, 03:18:28 PM »
I understand and thank you for the response, but why would someone on the other forum say that he was definitely infected via this route, which was acknowledged by another admin. So there is a risk then or the other guy is lying and/or did something else.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Another freakout topic. need help
« Reply #3 on: March 10, 2013, 03:23:41 PM »
As for reading the Just Infected forum and the reports made there, I would remind you that the plural of anecdote is not data. Over eighteen cumulative years of serodiscordant couple tracking where the couples used condoms for penetrative abalone and vaginal sex but no barriers at all for any sort of oral sex yielded zero infections linked to those activities.

Especially when newly diagnosed, some people have a difficult time assimilating their pre-HIV paradigm post - diagnosis. Some cannot accept the perceived stigma of unprotected anal sex. Some have substance use / abuse issues that make accurate recall impossible. Some simply lie due to their own hypocritical prejudices and a stratification regarding transmission routes and perceived sympathy from others.

Point being, we gave yet to fully document an infection through receptive fellatio (sucking a penis) through three studies on two continents that were designed to document precisely that. Almost all of the literature claiming fellatio as a transmission route dates back before 1995, when ART was introduced as a medical treatment for HIV. It is based on the notoriously unreliable patient report after the fact.

Can I claim it never happens? I wouldn't. But it would take the perfect storm of a extraordinary viral load and an oral cavity normally found if one Googles "meth mouth" to be even theoretically conceivable. Saliva contains over a dozen identified elements which render HIV inert. The mouth is a singularly inhospitable environment for HIV.

It is my opinion that you are worried over absolutely nothing.

* modified for spelling and punctuation
« Last Edit: March 10, 2013, 04:00:36 PM by jkinatl2 »
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Mementomori

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Re: Another freakout topic. need help
« Reply #4 on: March 10, 2013, 03:50:51 PM »
You are right, thank you for the response. I should understand that anecdotes are not controlled and subject to a wide number of environmental variables which would affect the results. I should trust the science. Thank you.

Offline Ann

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Re: Another freakout topic. need help
« Reply #5 on: March 11, 2013, 08:17:26 AM »
I understand and thank you for the response, but why would someone on the other forum say that he was definitely infected via this route, which was acknowledged by another admin. So there is a risk then or the other guy is lying and/or did something else.


I absolutely did NOT confirm that oral was definitely the only way that guy could have been infected. If he did, it would have been the rarest of the rare cases.

In fact, I pointed out to him just how unlikely it would have been for him to have been infected through the oral in which he engaged.

One thing I regret to have neglected to mention to him was "meth mouth" as Jonathan mentioned above. However, meth mouth was exactly what I was thinking when I responded to him. He mentioned frequently experiencing dry mouth and having his bottom teeth irritate his bottom lip, by which I assumed he meant the INSIDE of his bottom lip. I did not for a moment assume he was talking about simple chapped lips.

Having an extremely dry mouth (and subsequent irritated inside lips/cheeks) is a feature of regular meth usage and from his description of him and his partner inviting other couples into their lives for party and play (read "doing  meth and having sex") well, it's a SMALL possibility that he found himself in the "perfect storm" JK alluded to above.

Speaking of irritation, you're irritating the hell out of me. You've been carrying this fear around for over two years. And yet you went into a relationship with another person and never bothered to test and never bothered to use condoms for what absolutely IS a risk for hiv infection - namely unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. But no, you don't worry about an actual risk, you worry about a risk that is theoretical at best, meth-mouth aside.

You and your girlfriend should have used condoms until such time as you were securely monogamous and had BOTH tested TOGETHER (at least three months into being monogamous) before you stopped using condoms.

But no, you don't worry about that, you only worry about sucking some guy's cock, most likely because you're one of those people who ignorantly believe that only gay men are at risk for hiv infection.

From your first post, I gather that you finally have tested yourself for hiv and are waiting for the results. If having unprotected intercourse with your present (hiv negative) girlfriend is the only true risk you've had, then you can fully expect your hiv test to return a negative result. No surprise there as you haven't had a risk (concerning the oral, unless you've got meth mouth and didn't admit to that fact).

However, if you've been having unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse with other people during the years before your current relationship, all bets are off. One thing is certain though - if you do test positive, it would be from the unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse you've had, not from one brief blowjob. No way, mate.

For future reference, here's what you need to know in order to remain hiv negative:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!


Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts


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