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Author Topic: Telling the one who infected you?  (Read 1957 times)

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Offline dancer11

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Telling the one who infected you?
« on: February 26, 2013, 02:27:53 PM »
Hi everyone.

I'm new here. And I'm going to be straight up and honest with everyone. I am currently awaiting test results, but have had seroconversion symptoms for a couple of weeks. I'm a 22 year old heterosexual female, but a few months ago had unprotected sex with someone I was seeing.
While I do not know my results fully yet (not sure if I should be posting in this forum or another one?) I need to talk. I just have a terrible feeling, and I think I just know. I know, I know everyone is paranoid but it all adds up too well.

Here is what I really want to talk about. The guy that I was with is a good friend and someone I'm still interested in, but he goes to school across the country so we just casually chat during the school year. He told me he was clean, and I believed him. He's a very sweet guy, with a bright future (star athlete, who will most likely be scouted by the NFL...).
If I am positive, HOW do I go about even beginning to tell him? I was clean before I slept with him (have only had 3 partners including him, and wasn't sexually active for a full year before him) meaning he is positive if I am. But, I care a lot about him obviously, and while I'm scared, I'm also scared for him. If I am positive, I also hope to keep him in my life. I don't want either of us to have to deal with this alone. I don't know if that is selfish?
Anyway... yeah. I'm just looking for some advice on the matter. I'm very afraid he'll shut me out or just deny it and not get tested if it turns out I am positive.

Thanks so much for the replies, and I'm once again sorry if I'm positing this in the wrong forum topic. I just needed to get this question out there. Just talking about this to someone (even the computer) is a relief.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Telling the one who infected you?
« Reply #1 on: February 26, 2013, 02:46:29 PM »
I have alerted the moderators to move this post to AM I INFECTED, as you are not confirmed to have HIV.

Also, the word "clean." Please don't use it to refer to your STD status. It implies that we who have HIV are "dirty."

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Telling the one who infected you?
« Reply #2 on: February 26, 2013, 04:58:45 PM »
Hello Dancer . You can not assume you have contracted HIV from symptoms so chances are you were not infected with HIV , so I would hold off on telling your friend your fears .

You said you have tested but haven't got the results yet . Most people who seroconvert will show a positive rapid test result in 4 to 6 weeks after exposure and you would need a confirmatory test at 3 months . You didn't say how long after your possible exposure you tested as far as I can tell nor did you say what type of HIV test you had done .

Its best not to assume anything until you know for sure by testing in the appropriate window period with the right test . Im going to remove your post apologizing for using the word clean so that you have an opportunity to ask another question if you are not sure how to proceed . Thanks .     
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