Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
October 22, 2017, 07:02:11 AM

Login with username, password and session length

  • Total Members: 31675
  • Latest: Lucia99
  • Total Posts: 721070
  • Total Topics: 58494
  • Online Today: 357
  • Online Ever: 1421
  • (August 13, 2016, 05:18:44 AM)
Users Online
Users: 4
Guests: 227
Total: 231


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: Trying to guess my infection roughly  (Read 2672 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline yowsaa

  • Member
  • Posts: 86
Trying to guess my infection roughly
« on: October 12, 2006, 08:50:19 PM »
hey all,

Why i'm trying to guessitmate this is cause i seperated from my first wife in '95 and never disclosed to her when i found out years later (see bottom). I was told it was prob a year or two before i found out. That would take me back to '98 .

Two things that make me question this are how high my cd4's are now and also remember my spouse had a recurring problem of yeast infections. (mean anything... dunno).

I guess in the big scheme of things it is unimportant. Just gnaws at me sometimes. Last i heard she has remarried.

Any opinions/guesses ??

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,389
  • Member 2005
Re: Trying to guess my infection roughly
« Reply #1 on: October 12, 2006, 09:00:15 PM »
Probably could spend your "lifetime" trying to figure that one out...  Tic Tock, Tic Tock.... ;)
« Last Edit: October 12, 2006, 09:05:04 PM by Eric »

Offline yowsaa

  • Member
  • Posts: 86
Re: Trying to guess my infection roughly
« Reply #2 on: October 12, 2006, 09:17:50 PM »
I am gnawing of self imposed guilt for not disclosing when maybe i should have. ID doc at the time gave me the 1-2 year window so i decided against that.

Too many drunken, unprotected one night stands to even guess. Yep, won't happen to me. WRONG.

Offline IzPoz

  • Member
  • Posts: 332
  • God, grant me the serenity...
Re: Trying to guess my infection roughly
« Reply #3 on: October 12, 2006, 10:34:34 PM »
When I was first diagnosed, I was told to go back 5 years and to advise those I was with during that time frame to get tested.

It's up to you, unless you know for a fact that you were negative when you married, and you remained faithful to her until you separated.
The reason angels can fly is that they take themselves so lightly. ~ Chesterton G. K.

Offline HIVworker

  • Member
  • Posts: 918
  • HIV researcher
Re: Trying to guess my infection roughly
« Reply #4 on: October 12, 2006, 11:08:21 PM »
You asked me for my best guess, but honestly I don't have one. I don't know enough about declining CD4 cells to be able to guess how long you are infected. I know some, but not enough for this.

Honestly, from what I have read it is very variable and I don't want to guess because you might attribute some weight to that in a manner that I can not predict. It might make you feel better, it might make you feel worse. For that reason I won't guess on this for you.

Try not to let it work on you if you can. Would it affect your feelings if you knew? I'm just curious.

NB. Any advice about HIV is given in addition to your own medical advice and not intended to replace it. You should never make clinical decisions based on what anyone says on the internet but rather check with your ID doctor first. Discussions from the internet are just that - Discussions. They may give you food for thought, but they should not direct you to do anything but fuel discussion.

Offline yowsaa

  • Member
  • Posts: 86
Re: Trying to guess my infection roughly
« Reply #5 on: October 13, 2006, 01:48:39 AM »
Put my ex through more grief than any one person should have to endure. To be honest I never really thought of this question very much until I joined this forum and read alot, always just assumed this happened well after the split.

Affect my feelings ? Yes. But nothing I can do about it now, except pray for forgiveness if such is the case. I always try to do the right thing now but looking back at this event my cowardice of disclosing was greater than potentially saving another human being. Shameful.

This is not something that consumes my daily life but I read today that cd4's decline an average of 50-100/yr. Given my high numbers now would suggest infection around '90-'93 to my untrained guess.

For the woman who mention about some cheating jerk ex who left them with this , this jerk most sincerely apologises. God bless you all.

p.s. IzPoz, Was I faithful ? No.

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: Trying to guess my infection roughly
« Reply #6 on: October 13, 2006, 02:44:57 AM »
Hello Yowsaa,

Yes, it is unfortunate of the circumstances that you face in your life. I am going to "Keep it Real" with you.

Try your BEST not to focus on how it happened. It is a hard reality but it cannot be changed.

Try your BEST not to experience these feelings of guilt, frustration, and anger, as it will tear you apart with your internal anxiety.

Work on a solution to get this off of your chest. If you can locate your "X", by all means DO SO as this will lift a tremendous weight off of your shoulder.

Make the BEST of each Day!

Offline Cliff

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,645
Re: Trying to guess my infection roughly
« Reply #7 on: October 13, 2006, 06:03:25 AM »
Tell her.  You know that's the right thing to do.  None of us are able to confirm that you weren't infected with HIV in 1995 and neither can you (or your doctor). 

She deserves the truth.

Offline bobik

  • Member
  • Posts: 315
    • My worksite
Re: Trying to guess my infection roughly
« Reply #8 on: October 13, 2006, 06:07:37 AM »
Hi Yowsaa,

I know of quite some people who's cd4's remained 300 for years without treatment. Matter of how aggressive the virus is. So you won't find that answer, I am afraid.

Coen Honig at Facebook

Offline Alain

  • Member
  • Posts: 680
  • I am.
Re: Trying to guess my infection roughly
« Reply #9 on: October 13, 2006, 09:02:40 AM »
« Last Edit: November 03, 2006, 08:45:46 PM by cowandalehouse »

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,138
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Trying to guess my infection roughly
« Reply #10 on: October 13, 2006, 10:09:14 AM »
Hi Yowsaa,

I also think you have a responsibility to make sure your ex is made aware that she needs to test. There is no way to know for certain when you were infected and it is totally possible that you were hiv positive when you were still together.

You don't necessarily have to tell her yourself. You can contact your local health authority and inform them of her whereabouts and that she needs to test due to her contact with you. It might be better for her if it comes from you (so she's not guessing who this anonymous contact is), but how you approach it is up to you.

But the bottom line here is that she needs to know. If she has been infected, she might not find out otherwise until she lands in hospital with PCP. It happens all the time that a person outside the alleged "risk groups" aren't tested for hiv when they're having otherwise unexplained medical problems.

Good luck. I know this isn't going to be an easy thing to do, but it's the RIGHT thing to do.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts


Terms of Membership for these forums

© 2017 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.