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Author Topic: Should I worry?  (Read 1270 times)

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Offline Eric C.

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Should I worry?
« on: February 12, 2013, 03:43:13 PM »

First time posting so I hope I'm doing this right.  Need some help! 
I'm a bi-curious guy who had an encounter with someone 2 months ago at a bath house.  The encounter was brief and I performed oral sex on him in the steam room.  During our encounter I tasted some pre-cum in my mouth and immediately spit it out.  After a couple more minutes I stopped and asked him if he was positive and to my shock he said yes.  He said he was healthy and had undetectable levels of HIV.  He told me I shouldn't worry, but I can't help but worry! 

I did not have anything noticeably wrong with my mouth and he did not ejaculate.  Should I go get tested?  Should I be worried?  I've read some conflicting stuff on the internet and not sure what to think.  Your professional advice would be appreciated.


« Last Edit: February 12, 2013, 04:08:02 PM by Eric C. »

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Should I worry?
« Reply #1 on: February 12, 2013, 06:00:58 PM »
Well, it looks as though you have met the rare bird in a bath house situation - a guy who is upfront and honest about his status. That level of honesty is brutal, and can only imagine the shit that poor guy has to go through.

The credibility of a guy who is willing to be so vulnerable in a setting where he is under no obligation to expect to be gives him a lot of standing in my book. In the future, it might be a better idea to simply assume that every guy is positive unless you are explicitly proven otherwise (by dating exclusively and testing together.)

That having been said, nothing you did put you at risk for HIV infection. Even had the guy not been on meds, we have yet to document an HIV transmission through fellatio in the wild.

While I recommend that every sexually active person who is not in a mutually monogamous relationship get a full STD panel (including, of course, an HIV test) every six months, the activities you describe do not necessitate an HIV test.

There have been no fewer than three long term studies of serodiscordant couples (where one partner is positive and one is negative) that lasted three, five and ten years. The couples used condoms for penetrative anal and vaginal sex, but chose not to use barrier protection for oral sex of any kind. At the end of these studies, not a single person seroconverted due to oral activity. Not one.

Moreover, if the guy was telling the truth (and at the point where he told you he was positive, I am inclined to suspect he did) than an undetectable viral loadmakes HIV extremely difficult to transmit, even if you had engaged in unprotected receptive anal sex. Treatment for HIV is very effective at stopping forward transmission.

Please see my caveat above about every sexually active person testing for all STDs at least twice a year - but other than that, you have no *need* to test.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Eric C.

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Re: Should I worry?
« Reply #2 on: February 12, 2013, 08:39:19 PM »
Thank you for your help! 


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