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Author Topic: Dreams of having a kid possible still?  (Read 2057 times)

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Offline justchill

  • Member
  • Posts: 10
Dreams of having a kid possible still?
« on: February 08, 2013, 03:21:48 AM »
hello everyone. i have done some research about having kids while positive and although it is possible, is there anyone out there who's been through this.... i am a bisexual male and always had dreams of having a kid even if it had to be with a woman/friend who agreed to do this for me. anyone out there with exp on this subject?

Offline oksikoko

  • Member
  • Posts: 690
  • Writing the congressman again
Re: Dreams of having a kid possible still?
« Reply #1 on: February 08, 2013, 05:48:36 PM »
I guess you know about sperm washing. I think in the States anyway your bigger problem would be that you can't 'donate' the sperm to another person as an HIV+ individual. It would be easiest to do something like that with your own partner. Being bisexual may simplify things if you have a girlfriend or wife or whatever the kids are doing these days.

I've definitely read posts about this topic on here somewhere. Maybe someone with personal experience will pipe up soon.

Good luck, though! I have an ex who was positive (ha, still is) who had given up on his dream to have a kid because of this. I can think of a million reasons not to want choldren, but being HIV+ doesn't seem like a good one if it's logistically possible to do. :)
Code: [Select]
2014-11-14: CD4 Wars Episode II: Return of the Stribild (released in Europe as Stribild II: Werewolf Bitch)
2014-11-06:                ☣ VL (→) 12,627      ☣ CD4 (→) 639
2014-??-??: off treatment  ☣ VL (?)              ☣ CD4 (?)
2013-10-03:                ☣ VL (=) undetectable ☣ CD4 (+) 1105
2013-05-23:                ☣ VL (=) undetectable ☣ CD4 (-) 945
2013-02-25:                ☣ VL (-) undetectable ☣ CD4 (+) 1123
2012-12-16: Enter Stribild
2012-11-20: HIV+           ☣ VL (→) 132,683      ☣ CD4 (→) 920
2012-04-01: HIV-
Dates in this signature file conform to ISO 8601. ;-)

If no one complains, nothing will ever change.

Offline jkinatl2

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  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Dreams of having a kid possible still?
« Reply #2 on: February 08, 2013, 09:19:28 PM »
Many couples who can't afford sperm washing ir IVF simply have sex the old fashioned way when the positive partner has an undetectable viral load. Happens an awful lot in these forums, but since I am not a woman, I don't know what the success rate is - however, it must be pretty high.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline johnnyl

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  • Posts: 35
Re: Dreams of having a kid possible still?
« Reply #3 on: February 10, 2013, 05:39:21 PM »
I am living proof that you can conceive while HIV +.. not knowing my status at the time of my first born, my wife and child are HIV-... Lucky I guess because I was not on meds yet... 5 years later I finally got the news of being positive due to a thrush and skin condition. My wife was devastated but stuck with me. My CD4 was a 4 and viral load pretty high. I started meds and am undetectable, and CD4 in the 300's. I am happy to announce that we have been blessed with another child, and wife is still neg... So being undetectable is the key here... Good luck and God bless!!!
Tested Poz May 22nd 2012
CD4      VL            %    6/20/12
4         226000       5
258      800           13    8/23/12
293      <20           17    10/19/12
306      <44           17    12/31/12
398      101           18     2/27/13
607      <20           21     2/28/14

Offline newt

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  • the one and original newt
Re: Dreams of having a kid possible still?
« Reply #4 on: February 10, 2013, 05:43:10 PM »
It's an extra hurdle but still a real possibility. An HIV positive male friend of mine's wife gave birth last week.

- matt
"The object is to be a well patient, not a good patient"

Offline tednlou2

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  • Posts: 5,731
Re: Dreams of having a kid possible still?
« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2013, 12:06:50 AM »
I wish you all the best.  I know it can be hard to find a friend willing to do it, when you're neg.  I imagine it would take a very special friend to do it poz.  With a wife, you have someone also wanting the baby.

I would also entertain the idea of adoption, if a biological child seems unlikely to happen. 


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