Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
November 23, 2017, 06:39:22 AM

Login with username, password and session length

  • Total Posts: 722679
  • Total Topics: 58734
  • Online Today: 333
  • Online Ever: 1421
  • (August 13, 2016, 05:18:44 AM)
Users Online
Users: 4
Guests: 272
Total: 276


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Welcome to Am I Infected

Welcome to the "Am I Infected?" POZ forum.

New members -- those who have posted three or fewer messages -- are permitted to post questions and responses, free of charge (make them count!). Ongoing participation in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- posting more than three questions or responses -- requires a paid subscription.

A seven-day subscription is $9.99, a 30-day subscription is $14.99 and a 90-day subscription is $24.99.

Anyone who needs to post more than three messages in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- including past, present and future POZ Forums members -- will need to subscribe, with secure payments made via PayPal.

There will be no charge to continue reading threads in the "Am I Infected?" forum, nor will there be a charge for participating in any of the Main Forums; Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits; and Off Topic Forums. Similarly, all POZ pages, including our "HIV Transmission and Risks" and "Am I Infected? (A Guide to Testing for HIV)" basics, will remain accessible to all.

NOTE: HIV testing questions will still need to be posted in the "Am I Infected?" forum; attempts to post HIV symptoms or testing questions in any other forums will be considered violations of our rules of membership and subject to time-outs and permanent bans.

To learn how to upgrade your Forums account to participate beyond three posts in the "Am I Infected?" Forum, please click here.

Thank you for your understanding and future support of the best online support service for people living with, affected by and at risk for HIV.

Author Topic: Protected Anal Sex Paranoia  (Read 3310 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline dallas1000

  • Standard
  • New Member
  • Posts: 1
Protected Anal Sex Paranoia
« on: February 03, 2013, 09:08:59 PM »

Greetings to all,

As a 22 year old male, I had sex for the first time ever and it was with a male who I communicated with via E-mail over almost a year. You can call this "me finally taking the steps to confront and discover my sexuality." When we got together, I exercised as much self-control as possible, and the events played out like this;

We engaged in naked frottage and mutual masturbation ONLY. I ensured that he ejaculated on my stomach ONLY which he did.

He performed unprotected oral on me for about three minutes then I stopped him.

I performed oral sex on him with a condom. He asked to ejaculate on my face. I allowed him to ejaculate in my hands ONLY.
When it came to the protected anal intercourse with a condom; by the time I decided to give this a try, I was quite nervous. So much so that I couldn't even maintain an erection. I placed the condom on and did the stroke test that Ann has warned about. :) When I finally managed to enter him somewhat erected for about 3 seconds, he quickly pulled his anus off of my penis. At this point I was just too nervous to continue so I then gave him a condom, which he put on properly, and did the stroke test also. He used some of the water-based lubricant, (I think he could have used some more however) and then entered my anus. He proceeded to penetrate me. As I was again nervous, and felt that he was penetrating a little too fast and hard, I stopped him after 1 minute, 1 minute and half at most! and told him, "that's the end of this, I'm done."

Some hours later, I inspected the condom for any break or tear, and I didn't see any. The only thing on the condom was fecal matter. I do not believe there was any pre-cum inside the condom because it appeared to be empty. I find some comfort in the fact that I didn't douche before anal as was suggested by this website.

After about three weeks to a month later, thoughts about my HIV risk suddenly started to flood in my head. At this time, I was having slight headaches for about a week and loss of appetite. I think the headaches were triggered by my lack of eating, and worrying all day on a nearly empty stomach. This I would assume, resulted in me dropping a few lbs. Also I've noticed one or two flaky, dry patches of rash-looking spots on my forearm, one or two on my hand, a few on my thighs and two or three on my buttocks. What could this be telling me?

Additionally concerning was the fact that some days ago I asked a nurse to check my blood pressure. After checking it, she gave me an alarming look. The very same look I fear from a physician when he must reveal to me my results. The blood pressure was 160 over 100 which is high. Not good! I had to be excused to the bathroom as my stomach just broke down on me at that moment.

So my questions are; what could these things/signs happening with my body be telling me? And what do you think about my HIV risk in this situation?

These events happened 8 weeks ago (I've managed to survive the anxiety this long without succumbing to a heart attack) and I will seek testing in the middle of march, as that will be the 3 month mark. This is the first time I engaged in sex, and the first time ever that I will be testing specifically for HIV. I feel very nervous about the testing experience, and maybe I have been suffering from irrational fears, anxiety and guilt for feeling gay. I must say that the sex has been a rather frightening experience as opposed to an enjoyable one because all I could think about was how that very little moment could have changed my life forever because of HIV infection due to the existing possibility of condom failure. Similar to what Ms. Ann has stated, sex is only for a few minutes and HIV is forever. I really don't know when I'll be able to do this again.

Your response, wisdom, knowledge and any assurance offered is greatly appreciated. 

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Protected Anal Sex Paranoia
« Reply #1 on: February 03, 2013, 09:42:57 PM »
Absolutely nothing you have written in your posts indicates that there was any risk whatsoever for HIV in your situation.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,138
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Protected Anal Sex Paranoia
« Reply #2 on: February 04, 2013, 06:24:52 AM »

You did everything right (although giving a blowjob with a condom is a bit of over-kill) and because you did everything right, you didn't have a risk for hiv infection.

What ever your body may be telling you, it certainly isn't whispering "hiv". It's more likely trying to tell you to stop stressing out and feeling guilty over being gay.

Being gay is perfectly normal and natural for some, just as being straight is perfectly normal and natural for others. Baby, you were born this way!!! (with a nod to Ms Gaga) Thankfully society is finally starting to catch up with that fact.

I won't go into my whole "you need to be using" spiel, because if you know about the "stroke test", then I know you've been reading this forum for a while. Your reading has paid off because again, you did everything right and you have NOT had a risk for hiv infection.

I suggest you find out if there is a GLBT organisation near you where you might be able to get some counselling to help you get over your negative feelings about your sexuality. I'll say it again, your sexuality is perfectly normal and natural.

I'd also suggest that if you really need it for peace of mind, don't wait for the three month point in March, test at (or over, I'm not sure where you are in the window) six weeks. A six week negative is not going to change particularly in your case where you didn't have a risk to begin with.

In addition, I'd also suggest you check out the website http://www.itgetsbetter.org/ to read the stories there and watch the videos. Your sexuality is nothing to be ashamed about and nothing to be frightened of either. The sooner you accept yourself and your sexuality, the sooner you'll be feeling better.


« Last Edit: February 04, 2013, 06:26:34 AM by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts


Terms of Membership for these forums

© 2017 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.