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Author Topic: IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE...(for me, anyway)  (Read 4394 times)

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Offline zephyr

  • Member
  • Posts: 457
    • Zephyr L.T.N.P. Foundation, Inc.
IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE...(for me, anyway)
« on: October 12, 2006, 12:18:47 AM »
My Forum Family,

Many of you ask "Why me?'.

Why did I contract this virus?

I did not ask for it; my diagnosis was a surprise to me.

I did not want to be different. WHY ME?

If you can imagine for a moment, that you somehow get CHOSEN to carry (perhaps) the key to the cure (for AIDS)----stop and contemplate what this may mean.

It could be YOU.

The weight of that potential is enough to knock you off your feet, and I welcome you into my world.

The implications are almost too much for one person to bear, but this does not mean that I am that different from you.

OK. So, I don't have all the related issues to deal with:  I don't suffer the opportunistic diseases, the side effects from the meds, the close brush with death:  What I do deal with is the circumspect discrimination and stigma associated with this disease, the downward swing of the eye, the stepping back of the body language, the look of fear in other's eyes.

It's true that I cannot relate to your physical suffering. It's true that my situation is different. Oh, but it's so much the same.

The fact remains that I am "apart" from you, as the researcher's look to me (and the 'others') for some replete 'discovery'.

What I need to portray here to you tonight is the importance of the fact:  that I inherently control this virus, that my control is of inherent interest, and that somehow, it might be possible for them to 'replicate' that control FOR YOU.

This then, is my prayer.

This then, is the truth.

This then, is the HOPE.

IT has nothing to do with Gay or Straight, or Brown or Black. It has everything to do with INNATE POSSIBILITY and CAPABILITY.

When you put my heart into this equation, I have always said (on these Forums, since Sept. of 2005), that it is my single desire to assist in any way I can.

This means donations of blood, donations of my tissues, and donations of my time and of my HEART.

Simply put, I am ALL about YOU.

I do not know why I am in this position.  After 14 years, there must be an explanation.  If 'they' come to it, then I can only hope that each and every one of you will be the benefactor of the research.

This is, and has been, my only goal.  To stop the suffering, to assist in the discovery, and to give YOU all that I have.

Nothing else, and only this.

With much Love,

"It is character that communicates most eloquently."

Offline OzPaul

  • Member
  • Posts: 410
  • a very blessed 29 year ltnp
Re: IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE...(for me, anyway)
« Reply #1 on: October 12, 2006, 02:28:38 AM »
Dear Zephyr

As your 'brother' of a kind, kindred spirit and similar miracle/twist of fate and one of the 'others', I Thank You for expressing what I have felt these many years ! We are on similar though unique paths and it is indeed for me too...all about love.

your devoted friend though half the world away
Paul xxxooo

Offline Jeffreyj

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,403
Re: IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE...(for me, anyway)
« Reply #2 on: October 12, 2006, 03:35:31 PM »
Hi Zeph,
It is nice to see you back! I have missed your loving, caring spirit. You are the ultimate "TEAM PLAYER" and I for one, feel very blessed and fortunate to have you on my team.
And Thank you for all you do.
Positive since 1985

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,389
  • Member 2005
Re: IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE...(for me, anyway)
« Reply #3 on: October 12, 2006, 04:05:01 PM »
Zepher -

What greater gift can you give than Yourself?   Truly, there is none....  We are all blessed to have you..


Offline cph9680

  • Member
  • Posts: 325
Re: IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE...(for me, anyway)
« Reply #4 on: October 12, 2006, 06:00:44 PM »

That was beautiful.  What more of a loving, caring, shameless thing can one offer up than themselves?  I'll have to remember that...It's definitely something to put things into perspective!


Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE...(for me, anyway)
« Reply #5 on: October 12, 2006, 06:04:58 PM »
Hello Zephyr,

It is a blessing to have you in our midst. It is all about Love. It is also GOOD to hear from you again. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Make the BEST of each Day!

Offline LatinAlexander

  • Member
  • Posts: 599
  • Bogota, Colombia
Re: IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE...(for me, anyway)
« Reply #6 on: October 12, 2006, 09:32:24 PM »
When I think about all the lifes gone..about the pain many suffer...about the abrupt changes in our lives...and about those of us who are different, I only pray for scientists and all of The Others to keep on working...for many of  us, the clock is tickling..I pray to God to give you wisdom to find out WHY you are different, and HOW could you copy that to us

Till then, I guess we have to keep on the fight...Hoping.

Poz since Jul 19 2006
Initial numbers : CD4-250 VL 3500
First labs after HAART (Dec 04-2006) : CD4-432 VL-<40 (Undetectable)  cd4%=25.11%
Started HAART: Combivir+Efavirenz Aug 26 7:38 pm
Feb 08 2007 - Gradually stopping HAART cause of Myalgia. Protecting Efavirenz. Stopped Efavirenz, ahead with Combivir....
February 17 Combivir stopped.
April 3 -07 : Started ddi+3tc+efavirenz...
Gay and positive (What a lack of Identity...:) )
Looking for my Ben....

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,517
  • 32 years positive, 60 years a pain in the butt
Re: IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE...(for me, anyway)
« Reply #7 on: October 13, 2006, 12:28:40 AM »
My Dear Zeph,

Each of us walks a slightly different path with this virus. One day, thanks to the things you and others like you are doing, we may be able to begin a new path without the burden of the bug, or at least without the bug being a burden.

You are giving of yourself for the benefit of our species. That is a great burden, but I believe you can carry it because you do it with love.

There is no greater gift.


"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline Merlin

  • Member
  • Posts: 642
  • As My WILL, So MOTE It Be !
Re: IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE...(for me, anyway)
« Reply #8 on: October 13, 2006, 01:01:52 AM »
Helo Zephyr:

Your clarity and strength inspire anyone who cease to find reasons to keeping fighting day on night; and God Bless U for that gift. Continue to stay well and at peace always.

Blessed Be !

I'll leave Hatred to those not strong enough to Love.


Believe & The Power Of The Mind Transforms.
Make It Happen...


I blame them for nothing.
I forgive them for everything.

---->> Mary J. Blige on dysfuctional parents

Offline poobear

  • Member
  • Posts: 112
Re: IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE...(for me, anyway)
« Reply #9 on: October 13, 2006, 01:10:36 AM »
   Thank you for your caring and loving words.  I try my hardest to think like you do.  That I have been chosen for some reason.  I do admit I play the poor me at times.  I Love what you are offering and how you look at our disease.  You truly inspire me.  I thank you.  With much Love Rachel

Offline bobik

  • Member
  • Posts: 315
    • My worksite
Re: IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE...(for me, anyway)
« Reply #10 on: October 13, 2006, 06:19:47 AM »
Jee, I am glad you're back.

Love you

Coen Honig at Facebook

Offline Christine

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,069
Re: IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE...(for me, anyway)
« Reply #11 on: October 13, 2006, 11:50:48 AM »
I appreciate what you have chosen to do. I appreciate everyone who participates in research and activism. Someday, I pray, and hope, that the key to fighting all of this will be found.

Sometimes the enormously of what a single person can do blows my mind. The ripple effect can be amazing. One never knows how a single choice they make can affect so many people.

Good to hear from you!
Poz since '93. Currently on Procrit, Azithromax, Pentamidine, Valcyte, Levothyroxine, Zoloft, Epzicom, Prezista, Viread, Norvir, and GS-9137 study drug. As needed: Trazodone, Atavan, Diflucan, Zofran, Hydrocodone, Octreotide

5/30/07 t-cells 9; vl 275,000

Offline zephyr

  • Member
  • Posts: 457
    • Zephyr L.T.N.P. Foundation, Inc.
Re: IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE...(for me, anyway)
« Reply #12 on: October 14, 2006, 01:40:54 AM »
In the midst of great darkness, each of you are an inspiration to me.

Every single good wish, every single best thought, nothing is missed.

It is for you that I walk on this path.

Much love,

"It is character that communicates most eloquently."


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