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Author Topic: I need support, HUGE risk  (Read 1994 times)

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Offline helpmeout

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I need support, HUGE risk
« on: January 18, 2013, 05:16:49 PM »
Hello everyone,

I am deeply distressed as tomorrow I plan on having an HIV test, I am really scared as I dont know what I would do if the outcome is positive.

2 years ago I had a sort of unprotected one night stand with a man I don't know, stupid I know, I was very naive and allowed him to ply me with drinks to the point where I was not in control, I was a virgin up till this point and this man was 10 years older than me, anyway we attempted to have sex but although he tried to it just wasn't going in, so we didn't have full penetration. Just that his penis was rubbing my vagina several times, we were both drunk but I know he didn't enter entirely. I am worried that his precum may have infected me, because let me tell you the next day I had never felt so ill, I had diarhoea, night sweats, hot flashes, feeling faint to the point where I was hospitalised and put on a drip. I ran straight to the GUM clinic who rapid HIV tested me (but that was negative) and had several sti checks which all came back clear. however I know now that I should have waited 3 months, I waited but never got the courage to go and get tested as I know I have HIV, I get night sweats frequently, I cant walk down the road fast without being soaked in my sweat, random small rashes and dry patches of skin have  appeared and disappeared on my body, I am always catching a cold and am constantly tired.
Although this guy did not come in me (as far as I know) as he came everywhere else, I am scared that his precum could have given me HIV as I had never felt so ill the next few days after that encounter.
I never spoke to him again and I have not allowed myself to date anyone else, I am only 21 and I made a huge mistake. But now I have to pay the price, I just hope I don't collapse in the clinic

Offline Ann

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Re: I need support, HUGE risk
« Reply #1 on: January 19, 2013, 06:50:44 AM »

The illness that some people experience as a result of primary hiv infection does NOT come on the next day - or the next couple days. It happens around weeks 2-3. Whatever was going on with you over the next few days after this incident had nothing to do with hiv.

Absolutely nothing you have written leads me to think you will test anything other than hiv negative. What you describe sounds like frottage (rubbing the genitals together without penetration), and frottage is NOT a risk for hiv infection.

Go test, collect your negative result, and move on with your life.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline helpmeout

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Re: I need support, HUGE risk
« Reply #2 on: March 24, 2013, 05:33:37 PM »
Thank you for your response,

I just wish to clarify that because non-penetrative sex didn't occur it is unlikely that I have contracted HIV through potentially infected pre-cum?

I have deduced that I may have the virus, because I tell you the constant dizziness and exhaustion I feel is so unexplainable - I never experienced it before this encounter. I'm a sweaty mess and this has gone on for over a year, I feel so depressed. :'(

Offline Jeff G

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Re: I need support, HUGE risk
« Reply #3 on: March 24, 2013, 06:40:44 PM »
Thank you for your response,

I just wish to clarify that because non-penetrative sex didn't occur it is unlikely that I have contracted HIV through potentially infected pre-cum?

I have deduced that I may have the virus, because I tell you the constant dizziness and exhaustion I feel is so unexplainable - I never experienced it before this encounter. I'm a sweaty mess and this has gone on for over a year, I feel so depressed. :'(

As Ann pointed out to you a full month ago , HIV isn't your probelm . If you are sick go see your doctor and get to the bottom of why you are feeling so poorly .

You have the power to make all of this better in short order . Go see a doctor and tell him/her your story and find out whats wrong . I do not understand why you have waited this long living with anxiety , take control of your life , no one but you can fix this .
HIV 101 - Basics
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HIV Transmission and Risks
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You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP


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