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Author Topic: Mental health and do I get my wings now?  (Read 2793 times)

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Offline mobileballs

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Mental health and do I get my wings now?
« on: January 12, 2013, 08:49:58 AM »
This is my first post here...You can grab my story over at the ND thread.

I started counseling, which my doctor recommended for me, and feel really good about the gentleman I am seeing.  I have never been in counseling or taken any thing so I was pretty surprised by how good I always feel after talking to him.

He suggested that I consider going on something.  I have a very specific problem which has been pretty manageable my whole life but since my diagnoses has gotten worse.

I have these super brief bouts of anxiety about stuff I have done or said to people and it is a full body experience.  Like an emotional flinch or a super fast wave.  I used to just say to myself "It's not real and nobody gives a fuck about what you say" and it goes away pretty quickly.  Never really thought about it, but I am afraid that I have been pushing a deeper problem aside.

Has medication helped some of you?

I would love to hear more about your experiences on the subject.

« Last Edit: January 12, 2013, 09:13:14 AM by mobileballs »
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Offline mecch

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Re: Mental health and do I get my wings now?
« Reply #1 on: January 12, 2013, 09:07:55 AM »
I suppose its some sort of acute anxiety or "panic attacks" and therapy often throws a lot of them under the mental health challenge of "anxiety disorder".
Treatable by both therapy and by medicine.
If you see the therapist a few times and you care to know, you can certainly ask for a diagnosis and either the therapist can explain everything you want to know about the disorder itself, and its treatment, or at that time you could read about it yourself, too.  But its always better, when its possible, to get a good guess or certain diagnosis from a professional rather than self-diagnosing.

I have used all three principal therapies - talk therapy, "benzos" and SSRIs and I found each one helpful in its own way.  Very helpful, in fact. 
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Ann

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Re: Mental health and do I get my wings now?
« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2013, 09:16:34 AM »
Sorry Balls, but this thread doesn't really belong in the Living forum, it belongs in the Mental Health forum. I've moved it for you.

Don't worry, you'll get your first Living post in due course. :)

I sometimes get flashes of anxiety that can linger for a few hours - I have diazepam on hand for those times. I don't take it very often, but it's there when I need it.

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Offline Jeff G

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Re: Mental health and do I get my wings now?
« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2013, 09:35:47 AM »
Hi Balls , and welcome to the main forum ! .
I can empathize completely with you about the anxiety issue when dealing with other people . It was especially troublesome for me when I joined the forum because writing your thoughts are not as easy as it is when your having a conversation in person .

I'm sensitive and try to always take in to count other peoples point of view and give them the benefit of the doubt . I have to try and remember though that in doing this I have to be careful not to assume I know how somebody is feeling or what they are thinking because it comes off as insecurity to other people .

I get that super brief bout of anxiety quiet often so I have thought long and hard about it and in my case I have come to except it as a positive . Could it be your the kind of person that cares about the feelings of others as much as you do about yours ?

I'm not suggesting you shouldn't seek help if your having bouts of anxiety , I'm on Trazodone and it helps me with anxiety but talk therapy and sharing how I feel has helped me as much or more than the medication . 
« Last Edit: January 12, 2013, 09:41:39 AM by jg1962 »
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Offline phildinftlaudy

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Re: Mental health and do I get my wings now?
« Reply #4 on: January 12, 2013, 09:48:16 AM »
Hi Balls -
Your wings should be shipped out soon  ;D

I went to therapy long before my diagnosis.... Every week for three years... It was the best gift I ever gave myself. I truly felt that for the first time in my life, I was investing in me.

While I have not had too many instances of anxiety (except in instances when anxiety is to be expected), I did suffer from OCD for a long time. It had gotten pretty bad when I decided to start therapy.

The doc put my on Luvox for a while and the therapist did her magic... Eventually, I was able to go off the Luvox and use the behavioral and cognitive tools provided in therapy to deal with the OCD. Also, just getting some of the "garbage" out of me during therapy sessions helped.

Many times, it is not so much about what happens during the therapy session, but what happens in between sessions and TIME - which is a great healer in and of itself.

Continue on with your therapeutic journey - only good things can come from it. I said it then and will continue to say, that it was the single best gift I ever gave myself (worth the time, the emotions, and the money).

Best to you (oh, and did you want the wings sent FedEx, USPS, or UPS?)  ;)
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline texaninnyc87

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Re: Mental health and do I get my wings now?
« Reply #5 on: January 12, 2013, 11:24:15 AM »
i noticed a definite spike in my anxiety after my dx that was really effecting my sleep. i got a prescription for a very low dosage of klonipin and it has helped immensely. i also take it before my dr. appointments as those make me very anxious as well. i expect that most of this will pass when i better come to terms with all of this but in the mean time i have found it very helpful. i dont take them every day, because they are habit forming, but it's nice to know theyre around if i get a little too worked up. talking to someone never hurts either! hope your wings come in time for the next victoria secret angels shoot.
Dxd: 9/11/12
Blot confirmed: 11/12
12/12 cd4: 280 (20%) vl: 129,000
1/13 $tribild
2/13 cd4: 350 (26%) vl: 80
4/13 cd4: 510 (29%) vl:: 35
6/13cd4 350 (31%) vl: 21
9/13 cd4 492 (30%) vl: ud
12/13 cd4 846 (36%) vl: 100
1/14 cd4 480 (31%) vl: UD
3/14 cd4 650 (33%) vl: UD
6/14 cd4 410 (35%) vl: UD
9/14 cd4 439 (38%) vl: UD
12/14 cd4 551 (37%) vl: UD

Offline oksikoko

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Re: Mental health and do I get my wings now?
« Reply #6 on: February 01, 2013, 08:23:39 AM »
Hey, mobileballs. Are you just getting into Skyrim or is that an old tag line? I never played, but I spent about 72,000 hours in Cyrdodil, Oblivion. Long time ago. ;)

Anyway, back to the thread. You do what you and your doctor think best, absolutely. Most people here seem to have positive stories with SSRIs and the like, but don't be afraid to say if you're not doing well. It's an off-chance, but with head drugs, you can  start double guessing yourself. It's always good to have an advocate that you trust who can view any changes in behavior or personality from a greater distance or could speak on your behalf if you're feeling cloudy. It sounds like you have people around who care about you. Be sure you take advantage of that. I had really bad experiences with several SSRIs and one anti-convulsant. In the beginning, I stayed on anything I was given, no matter how terrible it was, just to please other people. In retrospect, everyone involved at the time would have been happier if I had done what I thought was best.

Oh, and, hey, texaninnyc87, I hope you don't mind my saying, and I'm sure you and your doctor are aware, but it jumped out at me here. The cobicistat in Stribild can increase the effects of klonipin. They can be mixed, but adjusted dosing or extra monitoring may be required. It sounds like you're taking a low dose anyway, but I aways like to know these things. Sorry if you'd rather I hadn't butted in. :) http://hivinsite.ucsf.edu/insite?page=ar-00-02&param=225&post=4
Code: [Select]
2014-11-14: CD4 Wars Episode II: Return of the Stribild (released in Europe as Stribild II: Werewolf Bitch)
2014-11-06:                ☣ VL (→) 12,627      ☣ CD4 (→) 639
2014-??-??: off treatment  ☣ VL (?)              ☣ CD4 (?)
2013-10-03:                ☣ VL (=) undetectable ☣ CD4 (+) 1105
2013-05-23:                ☣ VL (=) undetectable ☣ CD4 (-) 945
2013-02-25:                ☣ VL (-) undetectable ☣ CD4 (+) 1123
2012-12-16: Enter Stribild
2012-11-20: HIV+           ☣ VL (→) 132,683      ☣ CD4 (→) 920
2012-04-01: HIV-
Dates in this signature file conform to ISO 8601. ;-)

If no one complains, nothing will ever change.

Offline BT65

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Re: Mental health and do I get my wings now?
« Reply #7 on: February 01, 2013, 04:58:45 PM »
Hi Balls,
The thing that jumps out at me is when you posted "nobody gives a fuck about what you say."   I'm glad you're in therapy because you need to get into why you feel this way and how not to.  You're correct in knowing you have a deeper problem. 

I've been on Wellbutrin for a few years and it's worked well.  Of course everyone has to experiment in regards to the meds that will work for them.  Do you have a psychiatrist? Will your counselor refer you to one if you don't?  It sounds like you may need one for help with the antidepressant issue. 

As for the anxiety, I've always had anxiety, but more the panic attack type.  It got so bad at one point I would pass out if in crowded places, like the grocery store.  I've been on every benzo there is and can no longer use them because I don't "use" them, I "abuse" them.  So I just talk myself through the panic.  This can be learned through cognitive behavioral type therapy.  I just basically know I can't use benzo's, I wouldn't be able to find a doctor who would prescribe them (good thing), so I started talking myself through them.  But it sounds like yours are different. 

Good luck and please let us know how you're doing.

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