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Author Topic: 19 Years Today and It Still Seems Like Yesterday  (Read 1722 times)

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Offline Lou-ah-vull

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,027
19 Years Today and It Still Seems Like Yesterday
« on: December 29, 2012, 01:31:31 AM »
As my AMG friends will recall, this is the 19th anniversary (Dec. 29, 1993) of my partner Michael's death from complications of AIDS.  This is always a "bittersweet" time for me and I marked the occasion earlier tonight by watching from the umpteenth time "Longtime Companion."  The film still profoundly moves me and I marvel at how "raw" and "quick to surface" are my feelings of grief, sorrow, and pain especially in the bedside scenes when Sean passes away with his partner's loving "permission."  So much has changed since 1993, including my own seroconversion years later.  I cannot imagine how I would have managed the years since my 2005 diagnosis without these forums and especially our AMG community.  If nothing else, I have supportive people who commiserate with me on "my anniversary" and have encouraged me to manage my own infection and move on with my own life.  I have treasured attending the wedding of two of our members at my first AMG and celebrating the weddings (and anniversaries) and romances of other members as well.  This is always a sad time for me, but there is also profound gratitude for your years of support, friendship, and understanding.  Michael is my personal "saint" and I know he approves wholeheartedly of these forums and our community.

I do wish a safe and happy New Year of 2013 for all of you and I encourage you to join us in Chicago for what will surely be another wonderful and supportive gathering of our extended family and community.

Diagnosed Oct. 2005
10/05:  367 (26.2%), 24556 VL
01/06:  344 (24.6%), 86299 VL
04/06:  374 (22.0%), 87657 VL
05/06:  Began HAART 05/15/06, Combivir/Kaletra
07/06:  361 (27.8%), 1299 VL
10/06:  454 (32.4%), 55 VL
01/07:  499 (38.4%), UD
02/07:  Switched to Atripla 2/8/07
04/07:  566 (37.7%), UD
08/07:  761 (42.3%), UD
06/08:  659 (47.1%), UD
01/09:  613 (43.8%), UD
07/09:  616 (47.4%), UD
01/10:  530 (44.2%), UD
07/10:  636 (48.9%), UD
01/11:  627 (48.2%), UD
07/11:  840 (52.5%), UD
01/12:  920 (51.1%), UD
07/12:  857 (50.4%), 40
10/12:  UD
01/13:  710 (47.3%), UD
07/13:  886 (49.2%), UD
01/14:  985 (46.9%), UD
06/14:  823 (47.2%), UD
01/15: 1366 (45.2%), UD
07/15: 1134 (50.7%), UD
02/16: 1043 (55.1%), UD
08/16:  746  (55.4%), UD
08/16:  Switch from Atripla to Genvoya

Offline wolfter

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,470
Re: 19 Years Today and It Still Seems Like Yesterday
« Reply #1 on: December 29, 2012, 01:45:41 AM »
I can't even express the correct words because of the gratitude I owe YOU!  AMG and the support of everyone has been the most important aspect of my recovery from extreme grief too. 

Your words still live within me and I made notations in case my brain fades.  Some of the advice I try to give is a direct result from what I took away from our heartfelt memorial services. 

One of the things I took away from the DC memorial was when you made this point; "Instead of grieving for what we've lost, be grateful for what we had". 

Thanks again friend!
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline tednlou2

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,731
Re: 19 Years Today and It Still Seems Like Yesterday
« Reply #2 on: December 29, 2012, 02:09:52 AM »
Thanks for sharing this.  From one Louisvillian to another, I wish you a very happy and healthy 2013 as well. 


Offline WillyWump

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,367
Re: 19 Years Today and It Still Seems Like Yesterday
« Reply #3 on: December 29, 2012, 04:33:21 PM »
Thanks for sharing this Gary.

Michael would take great pleasure in seeing how you steer our memorial service each year. It is always nothing short of amazing, and so inspirational. So while Michael is your "saint" you are in a way many of our "saint"  ;)

I wish you a most happy, healthy and prosperous 2013

POZ since '08

Last Labs-
11-6-14 CD4- 871, UD
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir

Offline Jmarksto

  • Member
  • Posts: 655
Re: 19 Years Today and It Still Seems Like Yesterday
« Reply #4 on: December 29, 2012, 06:36:46 PM »
Gary;  Your post is very moving - I admire the continued strength of your love for Michael.  I also appreciate the invitation to Chicago - as a newbie I am still finding my way here.  I don't know if I will be able to make it but if so I look forward to meeting you.

Thank you,
03/15/12 Negative
06/15/12 Positive
07/11/12 CD4 790          VL 4,000
08/06/12 CD4 816/38%   VL 49,300
08/20/12 Started Complera
11/06/12 CD4   819/41% VL 38
02/11/13 CD4   935/41% VL UD
06/06/13 CD4   816/41% VL UD
10/28/13 CD4 1131/45% VL 25
02/25/14 CD4   792/37% VL UD
07/09/14 CD4 1004/39% VL UD
11/03/14 CD4   711/34% VL UD
03/13/15 CD4   833/36% VL UD
04/??/15 Truvada & Tivicay
06/01/15 CD4 1100/50% VL UD
10/16/15 CD4   826/43% VL UD


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