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Author Topic: For everyone posting to the "Am I Infected" forum...  (Read 2414 times)

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Offline torontoguy416

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For everyone posting to the "Am I Infected" forum...
« on: December 12, 2012, 10:00:45 PM »
I hope some of you read this before posting asking if you had a risk for infection..
I've read a number of the "am i infected" posts on this forum and thought I would share my story.

In november 2011 I had an encounter with a woman that was potentially high risk given that she is quite promiscuous.

We had protected vaginal sex 4 or 5 times and protected anal sex once during the course of a night together.. We had unprotected oral sex going both ways NUMEROUS times throughout our encounter. NOTE that I also had a recent cut on my finger and had inserted in many times into the woman.

A week later I developed a high fever, had soaking night sweats that completely drenched my bedsheets. I had a nasty sore throat, fatigue etc..

Given this, I pretty much convinced myself that I was going through seroconversion based on my knowledge of the topic.. for the next 8 months I ignored it though... don't ask why.. I was scared and just thought i'd put it out of my mind (also realizing it was pretty low risk given the use of protection).. 

In august/12 I developed pretty consistent diarrhea .. one episode daily for about 4 weeks..  At this point I decided I need to get tested...

 There were 2 possibilities... 1) I had HIV 2) all of it was a coincidence...

Anyway, I know all of you are really dwelling on all of your symptoms and whatnot, but the ONLY way to know is to get a test.. Also consider the risk factors..

In the end I came out NEGATIVE after an rapid finger prick antibody test administered by a professional at an HIV clinic at the beginning of NOV/12...   Obviously out of the window period. 

The nurse was very compassionate and a true professional providing excellent counselling.. She realized I was extremely stressed out and did her best to make the process as easy as could be.

I wasted nearly a year of my life worrying and causing myself unwarranted stress when I should have just had a test after 3-4 months.

Spare yourself the mental anguish and just get tested!! Don't waste time or put yourself through stress like I did.


ps - my diarrhea resolved on its own.. I never really lost any weight as a result.. At this point I'm guessing it probably had something to do with the either some lingering nasties due to who knows what pathogen coupled with the extreme stress that I was the cause of for 12 months...
« Last Edit: December 12, 2012, 10:02:30 PM by torontoguy416 »

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: For everyone posting to the "Am I Infected" forum...
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2012, 10:30:43 PM »

In november 2011 I had an encounter with a woman that was potentially high risk given that she is quite promiscuous.

We had protected vaginal sex 4 or 5 times and protected anal sex once during the course of a night together.. We had unprotected oral sex going both ways NUMEROUS times throughout our encounter. NOTE that I also had a recent cut on my finger and had inserted in many times into the woman.

As we tell people all the time, fingering, cuts or no cute is NO RISK for HIV.

Neither is oral sex, not from male to female, female to male, no manifestation of it is a confirmed risk. Most especially not going down on a woman.

The reasons for this are manifold, and carefully explained in each thread in AM I INFECTED that deals with the topic.

Also, a PERSON is not high risk. an ACTIVITY is. Unprotected vaginal and anal sex, to be exact. Judging a woman by the number of people you think she slept with is not only misogynistic, it's rude. What if we judged men by that standard?

Oh wait, we DO. We call them studs.

Your endorsement of the forum. It does not ring bells.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline torontoguy416

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Re: For everyone posting to the "Am I Infected" forum...
« Reply #2 on: December 12, 2012, 10:41:13 PM »
jkinatl2 : "Your endorsement of the forum. It does not ring bells." Not sure what you mean here?

In any case I was hoping to share my experience so that other anxiety stricken individuals going through a similar situation might find some comfort and perhaps think twice before posting about their no-risk encounters.

To your point of "cuts, oral sex" not being vectors of transmission - I am aware of this, perhaps I didn't make a point enough about it in my post. The purpose of highlighting this though in my story was exactly to your point i.e. as a demonstration that they really were nothing to worry about in hindsight.

I'm not being misogynistic. I could have left out the gender of both parties here, but for the effect of relating to others in the position I was in I decided to make clear the gender of both parties involved.

Activity clearly is the risk and all appropriate precautions must be taken.

« Last Edit: December 12, 2012, 10:45:03 PM by torontoguy416 »

Offline Ann

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Re: For everyone posting to the "Am I Infected" forum...
« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2012, 07:23:24 AM »
Toronto, I've moved your thread out of the Off Topic forum into the Am I Infected? forum as the OT forum is for threads that have nothing to do with hiv.

It's no surprise that you tested negative. You didn't have a risk. Keep using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse and you won't have a risk in future either.

Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection. There have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline torontoguy416

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Re: For everyone posting to the "Am I Infected" forum...
« Reply #4 on: December 15, 2012, 01:37:16 AM »
thanks Ann. you're right on all of that.

i just want others to know that there's no point over-studying your symptoms like I did..  I probably just had a flu virus which I mistook for seroconversion especially given the time (november - start of flu season in canada)... You can always convince yourself of anything..  only way to know the reality of it is to get tested.. and always just use protection.  i'm done here. good luck to all. and to the moderators - thanks. You guys are a great help in a space where it's sometimes tough to get support and sound answers.


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