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Author Topic: Disclosure with Sex  (Read 5266 times)

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Offline LivingFree1989

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  • Posts: 27
Disclosure with Sex
« on: November 28, 2012, 01:34:51 PM »
Since I have been + I have been in one relationship for 4 years. Now its over and I want to start dating again but its so scary because I want to disclose and not have to worry about them telling everyone and then never wanting to talk to me again. I don't know how to go about casual sex either. I want to be able to have it with no strings attached but i can't unless I disclose. I just dont want any trouble. Any ideas are welcomed.

Offline moongoddess

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  • Posts: 6
Re: Disclosure with Sex
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2013, 08:51:15 AM »
Are you on treatment and undetectable???  If so, your chances of infecting your partner while using a condom is very very small. In this case, I don't think it is
morally wrong to keep your mouth shut in a casual no-strings-attached situation.
You are more risk of contracting something from him (eg. HPV) than he is from you! Now if you are not on treatment, this is a completely different matter and disclosure is mandatory (ie, don't be the scumbag who did this to you).

I acknowledge that these are my opinions and may not be the popular or politically correct opinion, but they are based on the true risk of transmission while on treatment and undetectable.

The downside of this, of course, is that if you and this person get on well together and decide that you want to be in a relationship, you will be in a very difficult situation, if you did not disclose in the beginning.

It might be in your best interest to just save yourself the grief and look for a seropositive partner. I know this is easier said than done.

Damaged people are dangerous; they know they can survive. - Josephine Hart

Offline apple

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  • Posts: 36
Re: Disclosure with Sex
« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2013, 01:06:10 AM »
I think the best is to wait for a little while ( like 3-6 months) and know the person better. If you get comfortable with him and you see that the relationship is getting serious, then you can disclose your status. Otherwise revealing to everyone during the first weeks before you know them better can be stressful.

Good luck!

Offline LivingFree1989

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  • Posts: 27
Re: Disclosure with Sex
« Reply #3 on: January 16, 2013, 10:48:56 AM »

Offline 27years

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  • Posts: 145
  • What I did for love I will still do it for love
Re: Disclosure with Sex
« Reply #4 on: January 23, 2013, 03:10:07 PM »
deepends on what you feel comfortable with, some people have gone to a point where disclosing is not an issue at all, however if you feel you wont be abel to deal with the after effects of disclosing I sugggest you use condoms until you can establish how the other person might take it, once you tell someone you cant change anything on how they react, however be careful of what you can get from the other person, there are still other STDs out there.
Nobody dies a virgin life screws us all up

Offline dreamold97

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  • Posts: 13
Re: Disclosure with Sex
« Reply #5 on: July 01, 2013, 01:51:40 PM »
I have recently come across this thread. I have a question....I am in a similar situation. I am undetected and have been since 2008. The person of interest is negative. Is it safe for us to kiss and for me to give him oral sex??? Without disclosure to him?? The research I have done shows that both of those are pretty well safe.

Offline Jessy

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  • Posts: 23
Re: Disclosure with Sex
« Reply #6 on: July 26, 2013, 09:28:02 AM »
Kissing and Oral sex is safe as far as I know.You dont need to disclose if you are only doing that and if you are not ready because once its done you can't take it bck. Before I have had any penetrative sex, I ask the person in question to get checked (although am the  "sick"one) just so we establishe what they may have and its usually the best time for me to tell them about my own status if I havent already told them.

I hope it helps


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