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Author Topic: Vanishing Condom...  (Read 2411 times)

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Offline spocktrekken

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Vanishing Condom...
« on: September 25, 2012, 05:04:04 PM »
Firstly, I want to say how much of a great forum this site provides, let alone the site being an awareness central in regards to HIV and AIDS.  It's great that there is place where one can go online where they can get direct, honest and supportive advice and assessment from specialists in these type of situations.

Well, for starters, I am a gay male, and I always use a condom for all sexual activities that would involve penetration, save for(except) oral sex.  I have now taken on the role as being the "top" over the last several years, and have not been on the bottom in a very long time. Up to this point, I have never experienced or recalled having condom failure like the one I had last Friday night.
That night, something happened out of the ordinary: I was engaged in anal sex, with myself being the top and I had a condom on when I started, when I was done and pulled out (after about maybe 5 min or more) the condom was missing!

That is when I started to freak out, and very soon after that I ran into the bathroom to take a shower and urinated at the same time, but the condom was never found, so I assumed that it was still inside the guy, but he didn't even bother to look for it.

Before I entered him, he was very well lubricated and I wondered if that had any reason why the condom went missing (I'm just not sure if the condom slipped off during intercourse or during the moment I pulled out) what was my fault was that before anything happened, the condom was not all the way down my shaft, it was like 50% rolled down (I was struggling to get the condom all the way down, but after having a hard time and being afraid of a condom rip, gave up,) and condoms not rolling down completely is a common re-occurrence for me, but this was the first time I have pulled out, and a condom vanishes.

Throughout the weekend I was wondering if I needed to go to the emergency for PEP, but during the first 15 or so hours past I didn't think I needed it, now my anxiety is catching up, and it may be to late.  Would I have needed a PEP?  I've read through some of these forums and didn't know about the side effects, and wasn't sure if my health insurance would cover it, so I just didn't bother. So now I would have to wait 3 months for testing, are the odds in my favor?  Should I even bother getting tested?
« Last Edit: September 25, 2012, 05:18:27 PM by spocktrekken »

Offline Ann

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Re: Vanishing Condom...
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2012, 07:11:05 AM »

Yes, of course you should test. As a sexually active adult, you should be having a complete sexual health check up at least once a year anyway, and twice is better if you're very active.

It sounds like you're having problems with getting condoms that fit you properly. While you might not be able to go to your local Walgreens and find a variety of sizes, you can find them on the internet. They're often cheaper in price than in the shops and they will be delivered to your door in discrete packaging. The Condoms Are a Girl's Best Friend link in my signature line leads to a website where there is a section on condom sizing. Please read it.

It's difficult in this situation to know whether or not the condom slipped off before withdrawal, or if it happened during withdrawal. I'm inclined to think it happened before, because usually a slipped condom during withdrawal will leave part of the condom outside the other person's body.

I would consider your situation to be very similar to a condom break, and I've yet to see the insertive partner end up positive following a condom break and I wouldn't expect you to be the first. However, you do need to test to be sure. Your hiv status is never anything to guess about.

The earliest you should test is at six weeks. The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days.

A six week negative must be confirmed at the three month point, but is highly unlikely to change.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline spocktrekken

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Re: Vanishing Condom...
« Reply #2 on: September 26, 2012, 12:23:36 PM »
Thank you for your reply and advice Ann, I had an ongoing appointment for getting a Hepatitis vaccine over the past several months, and then, of course this incident takes place, but instead of waiting for my next visit, I will get HIV testing exactly in 3 months (before my next appointment for the vaccine.)  I thought I was doing everything correctly by just simply using condoms, but yet again, did not realize other risk factors would come into play even with having a condom around.

I will check out that link you posted as I have had condom trouble previous to this in the past.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Vanishing Condom...
« Reply #3 on: September 26, 2012, 04:57:22 PM »
Before I came to this site to help out a decade-ish ago, I only knew about standard and "magnum" condoms. Thanks to Ann, I have discovered the plethora of sizes. And hey, experimenting with different sizes is never the worst part of an evening.

While I have yet to see an insertive partner test positive following a condom failure, it is always advised to test at three months. If you test at six weeks, that result is highly unlikely to change, of course. But you know, gold standard and all of that.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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