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Author Topic: Had unprotected sex with my HIV+ partner  (Read 3111 times)

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Offline wastupid

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Had unprotected sex with my HIV+ partner
« on: September 23, 2012, 10:04:02 AM »
Hi All,

First of all, thanks for the people hosting this forum. You really make a difference.

Here's my story.

I have been with my HIV+ partner for 2 years by now and we had always been practicing protected anal sex but unprotected oral sex (I am receiving oral sex only) until this Friday night when I had a really bad day at work.

This might not be an excuse. When my bf told me his HIV status 5 days after I met with him after we had protected sex, I was scared to hell and went to clinics so often to get tested. We even stopped anal sex for 2 months. I doubted if it was because he really loved me or it was just because of his status and he was rush to get into a relationship (He had never been in a relationship before).

I really think it was because we have got so close recently after almost 2 years time living together and I started to feel more relaxed when we make love but usually it's still hard for me to concentrate and actually focus on the sex rather than watching out for condom breaks etc. Plus he started to wash his anal passage this week which was really a turn on for me.

Anyway, I started to rim for the first time in my life and finger him with a lot of saliva. And somehow I shoved in which was my first time to have unprotected anal sex in my whole life. It seemed to be that I just totally forgot his status and my fear. I started to hesitate after 3-4 mins and I pulled out to ask for oral sex before I shoved in again for 1-2 mins and ejaculated inside. (Sorry I know this sounds like I only cared about my own pleasure. But normally I only care about his pleasure and I have never ejaculated inside of anyone before. I am 23 btw)

I started to panic after I rushed to the shower straightaway. There was no blood. I don't feel any cuts or pains on my penis. My bf said it should be alright as there have always been negative tops with positive bottoms practicing unprotected sex for years without transmissions. We went to bed as we were both really tired from work.

On Sat when I woke up, I started to look for info online and found out blood is not the only body fluids carry virus among gay sex practices but also anal mucous and glans itself is mucous membrane which might absorb virus (I read this info before but I didn't know why I just totally forgot the risks at that moment). I went to the local hospital after and they told me they do not stock PEPS after 1 hour and half waiting at accident and emergency (I am based in the UK btw). I had to wait for my bf to finish work and we went to another big hospital in town and waited for 5 hours at night and the doctor gave me PEPS 27 hours after exposure.

Now I am going to take my second dose in 2 hours. I really think what I have done was stupid which only brought  fear to myself, although it was my first time in my life to feel intimacy. I have experienced and have learnt from the lesson and decided that I would always practice protected sex with my bf (it's the person you love not just the sex!!). I do not feel panic now as I now what happened happened and I can never change anything. All I can do now is to listen to the doc, take the pills and get tested, although the doc told me there was significant risk and I was deffo exposed to HIV virus.

My question is:

1. How much risk do you think I am taking without PEPS effort?
2. How much risk am I taking now since I am taking PEPS?
3. I studied about mucous for a while just now. My opinion is that yes there must be anal mucous which carries virus in my bf's anal passage. And penis head is quite fragile. However, it has to be an open cut on my penis which absorb virus, doesn't it? I do understand sometimes the cuts on my penis are undetectable. However, if I do not feel pain, the cut must have been tiny if any, does that mean fewer viruses would I take? And what is the danger level of that? Also my bf washed his anal passage before the sex, does that make a difference?
4. My bf is diagnosed 2 years and half ago and goes to see his doc regularly who suggests that he does not need meds treatment at the moment as his virus number is around 5,000 and CD4 count is between 300-400. Is that quite a good figure for me? (Now I feel I should have studied more about HIV. My bf only had unprotected sex once with a random person who claimed to be a 'doc' and caught HIV as the guy ejaculated inside of him.)
5. I am uncircumcised. Does that make any difference?

Thank you very much for your help.  :D


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