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Author Topic: Anxiety from possible infection  (Read 1764 times)

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Offline Nicky

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Anxiety from possible infection
« on: September 06, 2012, 04:39:50 PM »
I am worried of infection.

Here's the story:
I am a man in a relationship with another person, and 3 weeks ago I met another guy on craigslist, who said he was disease free. I wen to house and gave him oral, but I did not let him cum in my mouth (not sure about pre-cum). I do have problems with bleeding gums and I brushed my teeth a couple of hours before meeting up with him. I am having night sweats, I don't have a fever, and I am not entirely sure if my lymphs are swollen or not, I can never know what I am feeling around for, I have had a loss of appetite recently as well. I am not sure if what I am feeling is guilt for cheating on my Significant Other or nervousness about catching something and giving her something, or maybe a possible HIV infection. I just feel really scared, confused, and mad at myself for doing this and putting my girlfriend in danger, and me in danger. I am also feeling pretty stupid, and self hating.

So here are the questions:

Do you think I am infected?
Do you think I am just feeling guilt?
Should i get tested and when?

I am sure this question gets asked a lot on here, but I just need answers to give me piece of mind (so that I am not reading into every little thing going on with my body) and what I should do next


I was doing well this morning combating the anxiety but this afternoon has been awful. I have cried, yelled at myself, beat myself up.

I am so scared right now, and while I logically know the reality, I just emotionally can't understand it. All of my worst fears come to my mind. I am obviously very upset. I am going at 6 weeks to get tested, but I know its going to be hard to make it, I am thinking trying at 28 day test, to maybe make me feel better til then. Even though it has decreased accuracy.

I had night sweats last night all night, woke up to lymph nodes not hurting anymore. I have never had a fever as of yet.

Please help me, and be nice I am really sensitive right now

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Anxiety from possible infection
« Reply #1 on: September 06, 2012, 05:23:32 PM »
I think what you are feeling is guilt. Nothing you did put you at any appreciable risk for HIV. Brushing your teeth a few hours' beforehand is not an issue. You'd have to have pretty dreadful oral health (google "meth mouth") AND your partner would have to have a soaring viral load for this to be even theoretically risky.

I would not test specifically over this incident, but if it's been a few months since your last full STD panel (and a sexually active adult ought to have one or two a year) then why not kill two birds with one brick and get a baseline test AND assuage your anxiety guilt?

While HIV is not spread through the activities you described, other STDs are far more virulent. Chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes for example.  You certainly don't want any of those, and often they can go undetected as they might be asymptomatic. Syphilis, just so you know, shares a three month testing window with HIV.

Long story short, this is not an HIV situation. Sorry you feel bad about it. Sex ought to have the opposite effect.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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