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Author Topic: Talked to my mother and my kids  (Read 2236 times)

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Offline Mrmojorisin

  • Member
  • Posts: 222
    • My Blog
Talked to my mother and my kids
« on: August 05, 2012, 09:57:00 PM »
I finally got around to telling my mother and my kids about my positive status. I have been worried about telling them and concerned about their reactions. That they would reject me never crossed my mind, but I thought that this might be emotionally difficult for them.
 Background: I have 5 daughters, 1 from my first marriage, my wife has 3 from her first marriage and we have 1 together.  Their ages are 21,18,18,16, and 8.  My wife and youngest daughter are in Mexico as my wife has a family issue to deal with. She has been ,there a little over 2 years. I let my wife know right after diagnosis, but until last weekend had not told anyone else.
 One of my kids went and spent a few weeks with my mom. I went to pick her up last week and figured it was a good time to tell everyone at the same time..(Actually it was just my mother and my stepdaughters. My first wife and our daughter were on vacation).
 Anyway, I was braced for some to be in shock, maybe even cry. One of my middle daughters is sensitive and will cry at bad news sometimes. As it turns out it was rather anti-climatic. My 16 year old had already suspected because she saw me on this site a couple of times. I was rather surprised at how knowledgeable they were about HIV/AIDS. They all stood up and gave me a hug. It went the same today when I spoke with my daughter from my first marriage..
 The only thing that did surprised me was that my mother already knew..my wife called her the day I let her know. She is close to my mom and needed someone to talk with.
 I did talk with them about not letting anyone else in the family in on this "secret". Because, just as with any family, we have those who have chronic diarrhea of the mouth. 
 The way my kids reacted has helped relieve some of the anxiety that I have had since diagnosis. Their reaction was the same as if I told them I was painting the house. One of my kids has a good friend with HIV, which I was unaware of.
 I love my kids...and, I believe, the luckiest father in the world..
Started Meds On 5/1/2012 Norvair, Truvada, Prezista, and Bactrim

4/17/2012--CD4 83/ VL 353,000  7.0%
5/15/2012--CD4 218/ VL 4,970    14.1%
6/27/2012--CD4 146/ VL 420      6.1%
10/11/2012-CD4-223/ VL-62       9.5%
2/14/2013--CD4-215/ VL-119      13.6%
7/3/2013---CD4-256/ VL-UD       18.0%
10/18/2013 CD4-223/ VL-UD       22.2%
01/23/2014-CD4-381/VL-UD       25.3%--Dropped the Bactrim
05/01/2014 CD4-370/VL-UD       23.5%
01/08/2015 CD4-455/VL-UD       28.7%
06/18/2015 CD4-422/VL-UD       31.9%
01/07/2016 CD4-275/VL-UD       31.3%
02/10/2016 Switch meds to Tivicay and Truvada
04/25/2016 CD4-426/VL-UD        34.1%
07/14/2016 CD4-414/VL-UD        38.0%

"arrrrhhhhh ahhrrhhhhh aaaarrhhh"- Chewbacca

Offline 0608

  • Member
  • Posts: 67
Re: Talked to my mother and my kids
« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2012, 02:04:22 AM »
Wow, talk about brave.  I'm glad that it turned out so well for you, and you sound lucky indeed to have your family. :)

Offline Pozitively Moving Forward

  • Member
  • Posts: 14
Re: Talked to my mother and my kids
« Reply #2 on: August 06, 2012, 02:40:40 PM »
That's awesome to hear.  I myself have a 13 y.o. daughter whom I will be having that conversation with in the coming years.  I think one of the greatest things about being a parent is when you actually feel that unconditional love from them.  Absolutely Beautiful!!!
1/11/12 Test Positive HIV CD4 - 434 VL - 58K
2/8/12  CD4 316 VL- 62K (15%)
4/24/12 CD4 - 333 VL-33K (22.3%) 
5/8/12   CD4 - 419 VL - 124  (23.1%)
5/22/12 CD4 - 456 VL - 30  (24.5%)
6/19/12 CD4 - 593 VL - >20 (26.1%)
7/17/12 CD4 - 463 VL - >20 (28.1%)
8/14/12 CD4 - 476 VL - >20 (32.2%)

Offline bmancanfly

  • Member
  • Posts: 775
  • Medicare For All !
Re: Talked to my mother and my kids
« Reply #3 on: August 06, 2012, 03:43:39 PM »
As is often the case,  our expectation of events is usually worse than the actual event itself.

I'm glad it went well for you.
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt."

 Bertrand Russell

Offline OneTampa

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,810
  • "Butterflies are free."
Re: Talked to my mother and my kids
« Reply #4 on: August 06, 2012, 09:54:33 PM »
I am also glad it went well for you.

Take care.
"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaíto frito."

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,542
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: Talked to my mother and my kids
« Reply #5 on: August 06, 2012, 11:16:10 PM »
Hi There,...

I am also glad, that things worked out well for you. I have mentioned it many times here, I had no problem telling my mother, sisters, and brothers, closest friends, It certainly would have been a different road traveled almost 27 years ago, had I made a different decision.  There have been no regrets.   Back then, many of the diagnosed refused to tell there family's, and by the time the families found out, the were already dead, or on their death beds..  I can also understand how this can be very difficult for some.

Of course, not all families ( or friends) are that receptive. And, I had lost plenty of "so called friends" years ago, after I revealed that I was HIV positive,  but I have also met many new friends, throughout the years, some positive some not.

And you'll find out , when you go through this life, who your friends are and, but the support from family can be the best.

I am sure your relationships with your family will continue to grow stronger, as each day passes. This begins a new chapter.

It's also great that your children have knowledge of HIV, it makes things a lot easier. Once again, I am glad that things worked out well for you..

Take care---Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 20mg of Atorvastatin, 25 mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Amlodipine Besolate 5mg-- Updated 9/24/2017

Diagnosed positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

 As of 9/18/2017,  Viral load remains <40
CD 4 @358 /  CD4 % @ 13

 65 years young.

Offline tednlou2

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,731
Re: Talked to my mother and my kids
« Reply #6 on: August 07, 2012, 09:15:26 PM »
It is great that it went so well.  You have a loving family.   

Offline britchick

  • Member
  • Posts: 487
Re: Talked to my mother and my kids
« Reply #7 on: August 08, 2012, 01:33:17 PM »
Im glad that you have support from family.

Best Wishes



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