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Author Topic: Poetry for Martha Stewart fans  (Read 1705 times)

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Offline CaptCarl

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,114
  • Located in the Palinsville subdivision, JesusLand
Poetry for Martha Stewart fans
« on: October 02, 2006, 05:04:34 PM »
The ring was freshly watered, the mud was warm and wet
    The air in Pinky's Tavern smelled of beer and smoke and sweat
   The crowd was there to see the long-awaited Wrestling bout
   Of Martha Stewart and Barbara Walters, the tickets all sold out
   The room shot up like cannon fire, as we shouted with delight
   As Barb and Martha came out, oiled up and primed to fight
   Miss Stewart wore an evening gown, with thin yet tasteful straps
   While Barb was dressed for business, in a cape and leather chaps
   She raised her fist into the air, as she eyed the restless horde
   The grabbed a frosty mug of ale, and down the hatch she poured
   Martha gave a dainty wave, then stepped into the mud
   Barbara dove over the ropes and came down with a thud
   Amid the taunts and ballyhoo, the two commenced to fray
   'Till none could tell the two apart, that thick veneer of clay
   'Twas chaos, til a sound at last no one could deign mistake
   That lispy voice from deep within that steaming muddy lake
   "Say your pwayers, you wetched woach" she yelled in fevered Pitch
   And body slammed old Martha down, did make an awesome ditch
   Then climbing up the cornerpost, did leap a mighty height
   And sailed above poor Martha, like a cowpie launched in flight
   The crowd roared out as they saw Barb hit the floor
   And watched a boiling skirmish few had likely seen before
   Until one arose triumphant, painted head to toe in brown,
   She stood and held what seemed to be a tattered evening gown,
   With Martha's mud-caked body pinned beneath her booted sole
   Yelled "Let this be a lesson, you fweakin' wittle twoll!"
   As Barb turned to face the crowd, she belted one last growl
   And someone picked Miss Stewart up and wrapped her in a towel
   We'd had our fill of carnage then and went home to rest
   While Pinky and the bouncers stayed to clean up what we'd messed
   And you can bet I'm heading back to Pinky's Friday night
   I'll be ringside for the Jesse Helms/Richard Simmons Fight!

The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

Offline Moffie65

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,755
  • Living POZ since 1983
Re: Poetry for Martha Stewart fans
« Reply #1 on: October 02, 2006, 06:01:40 PM »
OK Carl,

Enquiring minds need to know, is this a real place and how much are the tickets.  I wannna go and cheer.....

Thanks for the fun....
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline CaptCarl

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,114
  • Located in the Palinsville subdivision, JesusLand
Re: Poetry for Martha Stewart fans
« Reply #2 on: October 02, 2006, 09:14:15 PM »
I got confused for a moment. This should be posted in Off Topic. I can't figure out how to move it...
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..


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