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Author Topic: Is it normal to feel like this?  (Read 4084 times)

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Offline LatinAlexander

  • Member
  • Posts: 599
  • Bogota, Colombia
Is it normal to feel like this?
« on: October 01, 2006, 03:35:21 PM »
I mean. I have been taking my meds (with NO side effects now), and I have a nice career, and moved into my place, and I have stuff going...But I am feeling like my life is shit...Like if I have no reason to keep going. Feeling very down today, and I have no reason (well, besides the fact of having a disease without known cure). I simply do not wanna talk to any of my friends, and I am not in the mood to go and visit my family...

HIV is playing with my mind, in an emotional way?

Any ideas?

Poz since Jul 19 2006
Initial numbers : CD4-250 VL 3500
First labs after HAART (Dec 04-2006) : CD4-432 VL-<40 (Undetectable)  cd4%=25.11%
Started HAART: Combivir+Efavirenz Aug 26 7:38 pm
Feb 08 2007 - Gradually stopping HAART cause of Myalgia. Protecting Efavirenz. Stopped Efavirenz, ahead with Combivir....
February 17 Combivir stopped.
April 3 -07 : Started ddi+3tc+efavirenz...
Gay and positive (What a lack of Identity...:) )
Looking for my Ben....

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,389
  • Member 2005
Re: Is it normal to feel like this?
« Reply #1 on: October 01, 2006, 03:40:55 PM »
Alex, sounds completely normal my friend! ;)
You are aware of it, now address it..

Love you Sweetie!

Offline ademas

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,152
Re: Is it normal to feel like this?
« Reply #2 on: October 01, 2006, 03:47:48 PM »
Poz for 3 months, and on meds for only a month?

You've had a helluva few months, Alex.

Bad days are going to happen...they happen to everyone.

I would sit with the feelings for now, but if it lasts for more than a few days...I would talk to a doctor.


Offline manchesteruk

  • Member
  • Posts: 631
Re: Is it normal to feel like this?
« Reply #3 on: October 01, 2006, 03:59:17 PM »
Hi Alex,

I was feeling the same way as you last weekend I posted something similar and got some really good advice in return:


I'd be lying if I said I was feeling completely back to normal again but I am getting better you've got to ride it out really it's just something you've got to get used to with a HIV diagnosis I think.

Diagnosed 11/05

"Life is too important to be taken seriously" Oscar Wilde

Offline Razorbill

  • Member
  • Posts: 622
Re: Is it normal to feel like this?
« Reply #4 on: October 01, 2006, 04:01:25 PM »
Hey Alex,
   People feel what your feeling w/o HIV.  You've had some big changes happen - feel good about how much you've gotten under control in the last few months.  I'll send some good karma your way. 

Offline RevMC

  • Member
  • Posts: 224
  • It's me!
    • Psychic AwakeningSchool.com
Re: Is it normal to feel like this?
« Reply #5 on: October 01, 2006, 04:35:34 PM »
After 18 yrs of being poz myself, I still have times like your having right now.  You just have to hang in there, vent on the boards here and know that life will go on for you.  After awhile you'll realize that it wasn't as bad as you thought it was.

The only way to go now is UP with your emotions and feelings.  Hang in there, your doing fine.

Rev. michael
Part of my story: "Sale Of A Lifetime" POZ December 2003

Started on Truvada and Viramune on 2/15/07

Jan 8, 2007   t-cells 215  Viral Load 10,000  24%
March 26'th  T-cells 306   Viral Load  UNDETECTABLE
June 2007 t-cells 375 Viral Load UNDETECTABLE
August 2007 t-cells 290 Viral Load UNDETECTABLE

Love and Light and Reiki sent your way,
Rev. Michae

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: Is it normal to feel like this?
« Reply #6 on: October 01, 2006, 11:50:52 PM »
Hello Alex,

You have a lot to be thankful for. Try not to focus on the negatives. Instead try to focus on the positives.

Make the BEST of each Day!

Offline Sky

  • Member
  • Posts: 225
    • Myspace
Re: Is it normal to feel like this?
« Reply #7 on: October 02, 2006, 12:11:49 AM »
Alex, sounds completely normal my friend! ;)
You are aware of it, now address it..

Love you Sweetie!

Well said!  :)
Poz since 2003.

Offline burstnbloom

  • Member
  • Posts: 39
Re: Is it normal to feel like this?
« Reply #8 on: October 02, 2006, 12:46:42 AM »
I believe alot of people living with Hiv experience these feelings, however, mine over time got completely out of control so i had to do the antidepressant thing...if your feelings continue it would be very wise to speak to your doctor about the feelings and let him/her decide if you may be depressed to the point that u need medications to help...Good Luck man and keep on living.

Offline stevevaboy

  • Member
  • Posts: 60
  • In disguise ;>)
Re: Is it normal to feel like this?
« Reply #9 on: October 02, 2006, 01:17:01 AM »
By all means, in my humble opinion, try to wait the low mood thing out before turning to more meds as an answer.  I've done a number of them and when the low mood just doesn't go away for weeks it might be time to take that step.  My biggest concern is that once you feel like you don't need the meds any more and you try to get off of them you could be in for a very unpleasant experience.  I last took Lexapro for about 1.5 years and when I quit taking it (slowly stepped down the doses as required) I went through weeks of VERY unpleasant side effects... it was like constantly walking in and out of a time warp - just exhausting!

Anyhoooo, good luck with the mood issues... I can totally relate at the moment!

Offline IzPoz

  • Member
  • Posts: 332
  • God, grant me the serenity...
Re: Is it normal to feel like this?
« Reply #10 on: October 02, 2006, 06:27:33 AM »
Hi Alex,

Like others have said, you have gone through some recent life changing events, and it's normal to be feeling a bit down.  Give yourself a good cry, love.  It's food for the soul.  But..... DON'T stay there... keep your mind moving, and busy yourself with projects, or with work.  Remember... you are going back to work, right??

I have to agree with Stevevaboy.... wait it out before you turn to antidepressants.  I have a friend (negative) who recently started them and watching her go through the side effects is just plain torture. 

Just remember you are loved, my friend.

Now.... get to work!! :) :) :-*
The reason angels can fly is that they take themselves so lightly. ~ Chesterton G. K.

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,246
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: Is it normal to feel like this?
« Reply #11 on: October 02, 2006, 08:37:15 AM »
Hi Alex,

You've known your HIV+ for only three months and expect to feel normal?  Give yourself a break and some time to adjust to things!  People without HIV in their lives have those feelings quite often, too.  What I've found that helps is keeping busy. 

I'm working on a few projects at home and often have no time to even think about how I feel.  I started getting that worthless feeling last Thursday and went back outside and got busy.  Next thing I realized, it was 9:30 in the evening, I was tired as hell, but I didn't have those feelings again.  I think, for me, that part of the feeling worthless when I think about having an incurable disease comes from my feeling like I'm not in control.  I mean, I can do things to stay healthy, take meds (soon, I'm sure), etc, but I still don't feel as in control of my life as pre-HIV.  In time, I'm sure I'll adjust a bit more.

You didn't mention any exercise in your post.  I use my stair stepper every morning for 30 minutes.  If I get up late and miss it, I really don't feel as up all day.  After about 17 minutes on the stepper, I get that 'runners high' and feel really good for duration of my exercise and throughout the day.  There are a lot of good reasons for exercise: general health, helps with blood pressure, keeps weight down, and, in the case of a stair stepper, gives one a nice, firm butt! 

Of course, if you start to feel this way often, or experience a good bit of anxiety too, it might be time to consider talking to your Dr. about them.  From what I've noticed from others, it's better to catch depression early on and deal with it.  Good luck and take care.

Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,517
  • 32 years positive, 60 years a pain in the butt
Re: Is it normal to feel like this?
« Reply #12 on: October 02, 2006, 09:13:41 AM »
Hey Alex,
You have been through some big life changes. That takes it toll. I can safely say the first year is hard emotionally because of these many change and adjustments you are making.

I know it was for me.

As others have said, try to ride it out. For me, these feelings last a few days then are gone. They still happen, mind you.

Also, what David said regarding exercise to being active. I find when I begin feeling this way, getting out of the house and doing something really helps. Go to the gym, or a walk. Go to the zoo, a museum, or someplace or somewhere you like or would like to go.

Another idea would be to locate and take part in support groups in your area. You would be surprised how getting together with people in your same situation can help.

Of course, this site is a great support for people too, albeit a cyber one.

Hang in there. You aren't alone. We are here with you.


"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)


  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: Is it normal to feel like this?
« Reply #13 on: October 02, 2006, 08:18:51 PM »
Hey Alex!  I felt the same way the first three months, I was diagnosed on 3/13/2006, and have been on meds since the end on March...

There have been times I felt as you do and I really cried a giood one Easter Sunday to a damn Cyndi Lauper song, I forgot which one....and then I picked up my pants and moved on.

It is something I have to deal with, and move on.

My suggestion to you is to call your best friend(s) and take a vacation...get out and have fun.

I went to San Francisco for a week with my partner and we met up up with friends from Chicago and 2 from New York and had a great time...

I hope this helps, take care and good luck!
"Be still like a mountain and flow like a great river." Lao Tse

Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: Is it normal to feel like this?
« Reply #14 on: October 02, 2006, 08:50:18 PM »
Hi Alex. I agree with the suggestions on music and fun little trips. I find sniffing essential oils (aromatherapy) is a great mental/emotional pick-me-up. Citrus blends are wonderful generally

Luv, Alex


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