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Author Topic: Diagnosed & new relationship start. Relationship ends but the virus keeps going!  (Read 2338 times)

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Offline vetton

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Hello All!

This is my first post here at POZ.com and I have to admit it's even a little confronting realising I'm here but good to know there is support!
I was diagnosed 3 months ago and starting seeing someone at the exact same time. I was honest and up front with him from the beginning and he was incredible, very supportive and open about his own feelings about being in positive/negative relationship. When I told him it didn't seem like such as massive deal, I think because it was this huge overload of information and change, venting  was what got me through.
Sadly, the relationship just ended (nothing related to me being positive) but now I am faced with the disclosing my status when approaching a new relationships, even casual sex. I don't know how comfortable I am with telling any random joe that I am HIV+, the potential bad reactions I could receive and then my stupid mind wanders and thinks "What if they're not cool with it and they tell people that know people that I know but they don't know yet that I'm positive" Uff.
Meeting people is hard enough without throwing HIV into the mix. This has hit me like a tone of bricks.
Should I wait a little longer till I am more comfortable with my status? Do I just tell people straight up as not to waste my time pursuing it more? Do I wait until I'm sure the guy is comfortable with HIV?

Any advice would be highly appreciated!

Thanks! :) 

Offline Joe K

  • Standard
  • Member
  • Posts: 5,820
  • 31 Years Poz
Hey Vetton,

Sorry to hear you are poz, but glad you found your way here.  Rather than go into any great detail about disclosure, I suggest you search the forum for disclosure threads, because there are many.  You may also want to look at threads that deal with being poz and the laws of disclosure, depending upon where you live.

Personally, I think you need some more time to adjust to being poz, without worrying too much about disclosure, particularly with tricks.  But you need to know whatever laws your locale may have about disclosure.  I believe, that if you give it some more time, to come to grips with your infection, that these issues will become more clear.

Right now, you are so overwhelmed, between your status and recent breakup, that you are probably not thinking clearly.  That's perfectly normal and with time, these feelings will subside, along with a lot of your doubts and fears and then you will be ready to move on with your life.  I've been poz for 27 years, so you have along life ahead of you and believe me, it does get better.

Welcome to the forums.



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