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Author Topic: I want to CRY..  (Read 5989 times)

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Offline newlynick

  • New Member
  • Posts: 2
I want to CRY..
« on: June 07, 2012, 04:18:38 AM »
I just found out this Feb 2012 that I'm +.  :'(

I took my first HAART meds last May 22, but I really had a bumpy road from the moment I heard that I am + and up until this moment.

As of now, I am focusing raising some funds for my surgery (HPV - genital warts).

I need friends cos' nobody knows my case, ONLY me.

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,265
  • Ninja Please
Re: I want to CRY..
« Reply #1 on: June 07, 2012, 04:32:09 AM »
Well it's alright now love, you've found us. :)

Welcome. Sorry you've joined us but glad your here all the same.


Offline emeraldize

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,398
Re: I want to CRY..
« Reply #2 on: June 07, 2012, 07:22:47 AM »
Welcome Nick!!

Offline songs06

  • Member
  • Posts: 114
Re: I want to CRY..
« Reply #3 on: June 07, 2012, 07:38:48 AM »
crying might help. but please don't get overly depressed. it is good you found here, but i think you also need a real life friend to talk about you disease and maybe cry together. this site also helped me a lot, but without my 2 friends and my boyfriend, i don't think i could manage to stay mentally healthy.
18.03.2012 - infected.
14.04.2012 - first positive elisa - UD western blot
30.04.2012 - western blot confirmation positive
03.05.2012 - first lab- CD4: 256   VL: 2.3 M
01.06.2012 - sec lab- CD4: 390 (end of ARS)
01.07.2012 - third lab- CD4: 388 VL: 150.000
11.07.2012 - Started Truvada + Kaletra
04.08.2012 - CD4: 401 VL: 3800
30.09.2012 - CD4: 510 VL: 709
04.01.2013 - CD4: 650 VL: UD! (aka 20)
01.04.2013 - CD4: 460 VL: UD
09.2013 - CD4: 510
02.2014 - CD4: 490

Offline spacebarsux

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,350
  • Survival of the Fittest
Re: I want to CRY..
« Reply #4 on: June 07, 2012, 08:48:58 AM »
Sorry you tested poz but welcome to the forums, Nick.

Itís normal to feel sad in the beginning. It may also feel like youíre taking 2 steps forward and 3 steps back in coming to terms with your infection, which is ok. But, in time, the storm will abate and youíll see that youíre still you, and that you still have your life.

The only thing that has changed is that you now have an infection to manage. While HIV isnít a disease to be trifled with, itís not the end of the world today.

Welcome again.
Infected-  2005 or early 2006; Diagnosed- Jan 28th, 2011; Feb '11- CD4 754 @34%, VL- 39K; July '11- CD4 907@26%,  VL-81K; Feb '12- CD4 713 @31%, VL- 41K, Nov '12- CD4- 827@31%

Offline mstevens

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
Re: I want to CRY..
« Reply #5 on: June 07, 2012, 10:59:01 AM »
Hey Nick, sorry you have to go through all of this, but it gets better :) :), I promise.  I went through it alone for a couple of months until I shared it with a friend, it really helps to have a single person to talk about this face to face. Also, think about support groups, or a therapist. Having an HIV therapist has really helped. As I told another user in another post, 'whether you get therapy or not, you will feel better about the whole thing. It needs time. Keep busy. Go on and do the things that you did before finding out. Take more care of yourself and believe that what has happened takes nothing away from you, from who you are, the love you can give and receive and all your hopes and dreams. '
Big hug.

Offline Lad_Liam

  • Member
  • Posts: 56
  • it's a hitchhiker, not a hijacker
Re: I want to CRY..
« Reply #6 on: June 07, 2012, 11:07:54 AM »
Hi Nick,
Shit news, sorry to hear. You've done the right thing coming here.

It can be an emotional roller coaster to get used to. But it will get easier, in time and with knowledge and treatment. You are on the way  8)

I agree, you do need people to speak to about this. Song said it in his reply to you, his friends' support is essential to his mental health. Hopefully there is someone in you life who could help in this role? It's a choice to be well-thought out, pick a safe and trusted person only in my opinion, if u decide it is what you want.

Friends can surprise you with what they are capable of. I thought my boyfriend would RUN a mile when I came home last month and said 'hey babe I got the big bug'... But he hasn't. He's just been making sure I eat my vegetables even more!

Good luck

a new dark passenger joins the ride

Offline newlynick

  • New Member
  • Posts: 2
Re: I want to CRY..
« Reply #7 on: June 10, 2012, 09:39:25 PM »
thank you all guys for those encouraging advises. opening up with my situation to a close and trusted friend i guess it's hard for me as of the moment, maybe after I've undergone my surgery (I'm about to talk to my Surgeon LATER and hopefully I'll be admitted soon to remove the warts). But I do already have a perspective close friend to tell my situation. But I have to look well, so that she won't be a) frighten b) worried and get stressed too c) both. In time.

2 days ago, while I'm alone in my room. I fell down in my knees crying, saying sorry to my family and to GOD. But after that, it really felt a relieved. And I immediately thought of what I want in the future, my dreams and plans and of course managing my health. top priority.

You are all correct, I'm going to take it step by step.

Guys, I need your prayers as I am going to schedule myself for a surgery one of these days.

It's nice that you are all very supportive to each other and really encouraging the newly diagnosed to be positive in life.

I need your encouraging words guys, you can email me at newlynick@yahoo.com. And yeah, I will respect our identities privately without asking anymore. I just need your encouraging words since as of the moment, I am ALONE.

Thanks guys and may we all have more healthy life. Good CD4 Counts and low Viral Loads :D

Offline tednlou2

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,731
Re: I want to CRY..
« Reply #8 on: June 11, 2012, 12:57:24 AM »
Nick, I'm sorry about your diagnosis and having to deal with the warts on top of that.  This is a good place to learn info, discuss issues, vent, and have fun.  I wish you the best with the surgery.

Btw, once you've made 3 posts here, you will have private message privileges.  You'll probably have more luck messaging with members on this site than on email.  But, don't be afraid to post topics that concern you or of interest to you, in the public forums.

Take care!


Offline pinoypositive

  • Member
  • Posts: 11
Re: I want to CRY..
« Reply #9 on: June 12, 2012, 12:41:47 AM »
Hi Nick!

I hope you're doing better. You are not alone Nick. We are all in this fight together. I, too, have not told any family member or close friends about my condition, but I know that someday, I will. I need to.

There are great people in this site who are very friendly, accommodating, and most of all, they understand the struggle we are in. Just remain strong, and keep the faith.

Praying for you,
Pinoy Positive

Offline misterprice

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
Re: I want to CRY..
« Reply #10 on: June 14, 2012, 07:25:30 PM »
Dear Nick, I am really sorry to hear this. I am sure that here there are people that can give you some great advice :). I wish you the best with the surgery, and always remember to follow carefully the directions of your physician.

Offline Matham

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Re: I want to CRY..
« Reply #11 on: June 18, 2012, 11:58:54 PM »
It is vital that you not isolate yourself on purpose otherwise you're doing your mental and emotional state no good, and that sort of stress can have an adverse effect on the way your body deals with fighting the virus, meds or no meds.

Seek out a support group and be among your own peers. Or, seek a therapist that you can talk to. Otherwise, bottling it all in will only make things worse for you.


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