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Author Topic: trying to not do another one of those threads....  (Read 1979 times)

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Offline mike2012

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trying to not do another one of those threads....
« on: May 02, 2012, 05:09:06 PM »
Hey Everyone,

I already know I'm an idiot so I don't need to be told that :)  Anyhow, 32m straight, my story goes, 10 year relationship with engagement, ended up getting cheated on and finding out the hard way, found genital warts from whomever she was with as I'm one of the few faithful guys left. So I also started having some other health issues, and turned into this health freak, I was doing so well and then I was an idiot. I tested negative in March prior to my risk, but my life was a wreck, did the normal bar thing and mind you, I haven't been to a bar and drank to get drunk for 10 years, so all my experiences were from my past.

Anyhow, some girl came onto me real strong, and I ended chatting with her for a few, told her I wasn't here to take any girls home which I really wasn't (I know its hard to believe) and she just kept going, so I told her I didn't have anything at home and she said that's ok, I'm clean...at this time, I wasn't thinking obviously, so I went with it, I know very stupid. Well she was a freak, I ended up going to her house to drop her car off then she came back over my house, started out oral, then normal insertion and it wasn't working (probably cause of the alcohol) so I finished myself for her...

The next morning I felt full regret, ashamed, piece of crap scum of the earth, that person is not who I am. I have 2 kids as well and all I could think of is what did I do...so I did see my kids the following and kissed them bye when they left and they did say they had a sore throat and what not...as from what I've read its hard to have symptoms right away (i hope what I read is correct)...anyway, saturday night my throat started bothering me like when I swallowed, the right side felt like something was there...that lasted until yesterday (Oh i should state the risk happened Thursday night/Friday Morning (4/27 at like 3am I think) - so I did start freaking out. I did call the girl and asked her again when I was sober if she's sure she doesn't have anything?  She said yes, and then I asked when was the last time she was tested and she said frequently (not sure if that's a good thing). I didn't specifically state do you have hiv, but I would hope a person would have enough dignity to say so or not.

Anyway, I had a very slight fever, 99.1, but I also had cold sweats on Friday/Saturday, it may have been from the alcohol...I was stressing so I went out again on Friday and Saturday and drank way too much, thankfully I didn't make any further stupid mistakes.

I did have cold/night sweats prior to that though, kind of was drinking all week to cope with the other crap in my life, I know its the easy way out...so I'm not sure if all of the cold/night sweats were from my over abundance of alcohol consumption as prior, I would drink roughly 3 times a year, so I really wasn't looking at that as a symptom either...I'm pretty sure I had whatever my kids had and it went through my system as of today, I feel normal. I am an over anxious person so I'm sure that has something to do with everything as well.  I am not noticing anything yet, so I guess that leads me to my 2 questions, one is that RNA test or whatever, is it even worth the money or should I just wait?  The second being, if I did catch something, I will show symptoms typically within a month correct?  Just trying to struggle through my stupid mistake and I pray I'm ok, but if it all works out, I'll consider myself lucky as I wasn't thinking about the seriousness of this stuff until it happened so it was a huge reality check for me...thanks for any insight.

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: trying to not do another one of those threads....
« Reply #1 on: May 02, 2012, 05:20:01 PM »
It sounds to me like you are allowing your guilt to affect you in a physical way.  Based on your excessively detailed story I don't see where you were at risk.  She performed oral sex on you and that's that (according to you there was no penetration as you were not able to perform).  This is not by any means a risk for HIV.

Don't waste your time or money on a PCR RNA (or any HIV test) based on this encounter.  Your symptoms are not related to this virus. Relax and move on with life.
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline mike2012

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Re: trying to not do another one of those threads....
« Reply #2 on: May 02, 2012, 05:28:03 PM »
Sorry, I didn't point it out specifically, its this portion:

started out oral, then normal insertion and it wasn't working (probably cause of the alcohol) so I finished myself for her...

normal insertion = penetration couldn't think of the correct word.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: trying to not do another one of those threads....
« Reply #3 on: May 02, 2012, 05:49:28 PM »
If you had vaginal (or anal) intercourse then you did have a risk for HIV and you need to get tested. However, there are several significant factors in your favor against transmission having occured if HIV was present.

It was a single incident of relatively short duration. And HIV is significantly more difficult to transmit from female to male than the other way around. So the odds are in your favor that you will test negative.

You can get tested initially at 6 weeks after the incident. Assuming you test negative then it is very likely you will continue to test negative for a conclusive result at 3 months.

Nothing you are reporting symptomatically is suggestive of HIV, but then you need to know that neither the presence nor the absence of symptoms will ever tell you anything accurately about your HIV status. Only and HIV-specific test can give you that answer.

If your symptoms persist you should discuss them with your doctor.

Odds are you're going to come out of this incident ok.
Andy Velez

Offline mike2012

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Re: trying to not do another one of those threads....
« Reply #4 on: May 02, 2012, 07:29:02 PM »
Thanks Andy, I hope you are right...I'm just so mad at myself, I spent close to $5k out of pocket to fix all my other health issues (had surgery as well, insurance covered most of it) and then I blow it all in one night, literally...I'm really hoping this was just a reality/lesson taught as I was taught a previous lesson from ago about drinking and driving which I have learned from thankfully...I won't ever be making this type of mistake again.

I'll probably wait for the initial test, I wasn't sure if that RNA was worth it, but it sounds like I will just wait for the real test. Thanks again, appreciate the support.

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: trying to not do another one of those threads....
« Reply #5 on: May 03, 2012, 05:58:55 AM »

You absolutely do not need RNA testing. You are highly unlikely to end up with hiv over this brief incident. You do need to test to make sure, but you only need standard antibody testing at six weeks. If you test negative at that point - as I'm sure you will - you will need to confirm that at the three month point but it is highly unlikely to change.

Stop beating yourself up. That's not going to do your health any good. You're human and you're entitled to make a mistake now and then. We all do - none of us are perfect, not even you.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mike2012

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Re: trying to not do another one of those threads....
« Reply #6 on: May 03, 2012, 10:35:03 AM »
Thank you Ann, it's hard to find good people in this day and age and I'm glad members like you exist, thank you again!


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