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Author Topic: husband Poz, I'm neg so far need poz+ advice  (Read 3197 times)

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Offline Blue75

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husband Poz, I'm neg so far need poz+ advice
« on: April 17, 2012, 11:43:37 PM »
I apologize know for phone post &the length..computer being weird.
First of all I'd like to thank everyone who posts here, I'm feeling more at ease. Secondly, thank you for hearing my story..coming soon, I'm stuck on phone.

I need advise please. My husband is poz (was present when he was infestected..blood shot directly into eye while helping). I can't possibly imagine what he is going thru personally;however,I know whay I'm going thru.  Can someone pls help?
Here's my belief..for better or worse, sickness &the health, good times &the bad...TILL DEATH DO zuPART! Am I wrong? My husband was accidentally exposed (didn't know at time) while helping a dude we met with a bad wrist/vein wound, he squeezed a fist..straight blood to my man's.   eye..am..what to give pharmacist, how does it get paid? I want to support him but I find myself doing more harm than good. He has been telling me to divorce him.why you still here, go raise our daughter without this..thedaedt pisses me off! What do I do or say? What I do say doesn't help cuz by then I'm pissed by then.
What makes you feel better? What pisses you off? I feel as if we are one and I experience the stress too,  but i can't comprehend his thoughts but I do..I experience everything he is going thru..we are One..I feel it. Hopefully my next test is neg too (weird, never had protected sex ever)
2/14/12 Tested HIV+
3/16/12: CD4-216, VL-56,500
5/4/12: Started Atripla
5/7/12: CD4-184, VL-12,000 (Taken off Atripla after 3 days, awaiting liver testing) Started antibiotics.

Offline Blue75

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  • Posts: 53
Re: husband Poz, I'm neg so far need poz+ advice
« Reply #1 on: April 17, 2012, 11:48:15 PM »
Please forgive spelling, grammner not making sense sentences..phone is hard to post from, so sorry..just need advise..thank you all! This forum is very beneficial! I read a lot, don't post much but much appreciated..I'm in Wyo, not many ppl to talk with.
2/14/12 Tested HIV+
3/16/12: CD4-216, VL-56,500
5/4/12: Started Atripla
5/7/12: CD4-184, VL-12,000 (Taken off Atripla after 3 days, awaiting liver testing) Started antibiotics.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: husband Poz, I'm neg so far need poz+ advice
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2012, 07:45:59 AM »

I've moved your post from the Living With forum into the Someone I Care About forum. As you are not hiv positive yourself, the Someone forum is the more appropriate place for you to post.

You need to stop focusing on how his infection came about and start focusing on where you go from here. The past is the past and cannot be changed, no matter how the infection occurred.

I'm not sure what you mean when you said "what to give pharmacist, how does it get paid?" This is a health insurance matter. His hiv-related medical bills should be paid just as they would for any other illness. If you do not have medical insurance, there are programs you (he) can apply for. Please have a look through the Insurance, Benefits Programs & HIV forum for more information - and feel free to ask any questions there that relate specifically to insurance and/or benefit programs.

Hiv itself is no reason to get divorced. Provided you two use condoms any time you have anal or vaginal intercourse, you will remain hiv negative. It sounds as though you two may benefit from couples-counseling to explore your emotions regarding his diagnosis.


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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Teresa

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Re: husband Poz, I'm neg so far need poz+ advice
« Reply #3 on: April 18, 2012, 08:18:15 PM »
Hi Blue...My hubby is HIV+ and I am HIV-. It will be 6 years that we found out May 5. Believe me I understand what you are going through. I was there. It really does get better, I promise. The best thing you can do is read the lesons here. Learn all you can about HIV. IF you use condoms with plenty of lube everytime you have sex you will be ok. I go once a year and get tested and I have always tested negative.

Huby had a hard time dealing with it too. I just gave him him space and learned all I could. IF i found something on this site that I thought he should read I would show it to him and we would talk about it. I went to all his drs appointments with him for the first 3 years. I had a notebook i took with me to the dr. I wrote down any questions I had before we went and then I wrote down her response. It really helps to keep that notbook handy.

As for me..I had so many emotions. I got mad, I cried, thought why us...so unfair. IT was so hard that first year but we made it. Hubby is doing great, works every day, does everything he did before we found out he was HIV+. Since we found out we have become grandparents to 3 beautiful grandaughters. HE plays with them, hugs them, kisses them, everything a grandpa does. We live a normal life. He takes his meds (Atripla) every day.

Hang in there Blue. It will get better. If you want you can send me a pm.

Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)

Offline Blue75

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  • Posts: 53
Re: husband Poz, I'm neg so far need poz+ advice
« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2012, 09:07:52 PM »
Ann, I had a great long post with more explanation and apparently after the spell check, I didn't hit post.  Anyway, thank you, I never know where to post and many of my questions can be handled with case worker when she calls back, regarding insurance and pharmacy issues.  Our copay is 20% so we would be out of pocket, $500 a month, which we can't afford but waiting on assistance to get back on what pharmacy needs to process claim.

Teresa,  THANK YOU!  Thank you so much for responding.  I've been looking for someone in my same boat.  Unfortunate as it is, I really appreciate knowing I'm not alone.  We are going through so many emotions it's crazy.  I will definitely PM you.  So glad things are going well for your husband.  I will work on giving him space.  It's a bit hard when I'm wanting to get things figured out (meds, health) and he is still in disbelief and since he's not sick, it's easier for him to to blow things off.  He hasn't started meds yet because waiting on how the copay and assistance works.  Also, the doctor in this town is not specialized, very distant and indifferent.  We are planning on going to an ID specialist about a 100 miles away and I want to go with him, but he doesn't want me to.  Says, it's his deal...pisses me off!  It is Our deal as far as I'm concerned.  I'm the talker, the questioner, the "I want to now it all" person so I can make sure he's okay..upsets me that he doesn't want my help but then again wants my support.  Very hard, but still very new.  Again, thank you, Teresa, I will be in contact if that's okay.
2/14/12 Tested HIV+
3/16/12: CD4-216, VL-56,500
5/4/12: Started Atripla
5/7/12: CD4-184, VL-12,000 (Taken off Atripla after 3 days, awaiting liver testing) Started antibiotics.


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