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Author Topic: a concerned father  (Read 2239 times)

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Offline newfather

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a concerned father
« on: April 09, 2012, 05:51:41 AM »
First, Sorry because this is way too long. Thanks for your time in advance.

About 10 weeks ago, I went to a brothel. At that time my partner was 8 months pregnant. There was a lot of alcohol and cocaine involved. I was first with one CSW and then we called another to join us. The problem is that my memory of the events is very fuzzy. Iím sure that when I was with both at the same time  the vaginal sex was protected. But, as much as I try, I canít remember whether or not I had vaginal sex when I was alone with the first one or whether o not it was protected. I remember there was unprotected oral, rubbing and kissing and, of course, and a lot of lines of cocaine and drinks, thing that I understand arenít risky.

As she gave me her phone, I meet her again two weeks afterwards and asked her if we had done something risky the first night. She said we didnít and that she is always safe. We spoke about STD and HIV and finally she convinced me to repeat the other night experience. We did and I was pleasantly surprised when she asked me to change my condom when I tried to have vaginal sex with her after having vaginal sex with the other one.

After all this, I have had no kind of sexual interaction with my partner. And I remained pretty calm until the paedratician discovered thrush in my 3 weeks old daughter. At this time I remembered that my partner got pretty ill with fever, vomits and diarrhea two days before delivery ( for just two days ) and I got a little nervous. I keep myself calm repeating me the facts of my episode, the facts about HIV transmission and the fact that thrush is common in newborns. But today the thrush is still in my daughterís tongue; itís been there almost a month and nystatin hasnít done anything. I understand this stubbornness is everything but common and Iím beginning seriously to freak out. To compound matters, I have lastly developed an alarming shortness of breath.

So, my questions :

1. In the unlikely case that I got infected, is there any way I could have infected my pregnant partner without having had any sex with her? I know the lessons about transmission, but also know that the CDC has 6 cases of accidental household infection. In my case I worry because my partner has been monitoring her sugar pricking her finger and so some of my blood could have been in contact with hers via with the wounds left this way. I donít recall any wound, but I bleed a lot when I shave.

2. Any chance that my shortness of breath has anything to do with HIV? I know this ailment is not part of seroconversion and that 10 weeks is too late, but could I be one of the unlucky ones who go to AIDS symptomatic stage rapidly?

Thanks again. Keep the good work.

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: a concerned father
« Reply #1 on: April 09, 2012, 06:10:21 AM »

1. NO. If you've not been having unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse with your wife, then she has not been at risk for hiv.

I doubt very much that YOU have been at risk for hiv infection either. Sex workers use condoms to protect themselves, not you, so you can be certain they were used.

2. NO. Shortness of breath has nothing to do with hiv.

Thrush in infants IS very common - and it's not always that easy to get rid of either. If the baby is being bottle-fed, chances are that the bottles and/or nipples aren't being properly sterilised and she is being reinfected. Thrush in infants can be a bugger to get rid of at times.

The organism that causes thrush is present everywhere in the environment, including in and on our bodies. Anything babies put in their mouths can cause an over-growth of that organism - and babies can have a hard time getting rid of it due to their under-developed immune systems. Work with your pediatrician to get rid of this once and for all, and ask for tips on hygiene.

If getting tested is the only way to put this behind you, then go test and collect your negative result. I fully expect you to test hiv negative, going by the information you have provided.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline newfather

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Re: a concerned father
« Reply #2 on: April 16, 2012, 05:00:01 PM »
Hi, again. I'll have my conclusive result in four days, but there's just one thing that worries me.
I've developed a pain in my throat when I swallow saliva. These last days has gotten worse. I understand it's too late for ARS and besides it's not a common symptom of ars. But I know it's a symptom of more advanced stages of HIV infection.Any chance that pain when swallowing could be related with  HIV?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: a concerned father
« Reply #3 on: April 16, 2012, 11:09:03 PM »
That latest worry of yours is unfounded as far as being related to HIV. It is not an HIV specific symptom. Moreover I expect you to come out of this situation ok. Your fears are mostly what ifs rather than solidly based fears.

I expect your result(s) to be negative.   
Andy Velez

Offline newfather

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Re: a concerned father
« Reply #4 on: April 17, 2012, 01:16:39 PM »
Hi All, I've just got my negative results. It's just two days shy of twelve weeks, but tha conselour told me to take that as conclusive.

So... thanks, Ann and Andy, you been very helpful.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: a concerned father
« Reply #5 on: April 17, 2012, 04:06:32 PM »
Good. That's a happy thing. Get on with your life and remember that should you go straying again make sure to use a condom everytime for vaginal and anal intercourse. You may feel certain at this moment that you'll not be straying, but nevertheless remember about using condoms if it happens.

Andy Velez


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