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Author Topic: Scared over protected anal sex with CSW  (Read 5030 times)

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Offline anxiousmale30

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Scared over protected anal sex with CSW
« on: January 09, 2012, 01:38:56 PM »
Hello all:

I have spent countless days and nights reading through this forum and I must congratulate every single one of the moderators and approved posters for their informative, unbiased, up-to-date and important information / advice.

I assume those of us who post always feel our situation is somewhat unique, when in fact it is not.

Here is my story in the hope of helping future readers as well as seeking your advice, although from so many similiar experiences that I have read about in this forum, I am quite (already) expecting a similar response from the posters. However, I would like to confirm some points with you.

A. I am a heterosexual male, early 30's with never a history of STD's. My last HIV test was more than 3 years ago, before I got married. Needless to say, I tested positive and was very relieved to do so given somewhat risky behavios before that test. I know it was conclusive since I had been in a monogamous relationship for some time by then.

B. I am circumcised.

C. Between six and seven weeks ago I engaged in PROTECTED oral and anal sex with a female sex worker. I was the insertive partner.

During the act I checked the condom twice for tears or rips. The female sex worker was somewhat displeased that I kept pulling out and checking, I guess she was anxious that I would remove the condom and keep on going.

Water-based lube was used (it was clear and that's what it said on the tube), every time I pulled out to check the condom, she would put some more lube on the condom. I was very gentle and the whole act probably lasted less than 5 minutes. I was very gentle trying not to over stretch the condom and risk a catastrophic failure.

Once I ejaculated, I pulled out and was somewhat reluctant to touch the condom with my bare hands so I didn't. I did not notice any fecal matter or blood on the condom. The condom was white and quite thick, although I did not check further I assume it may have been one of the extra thick ones but I'm not sure.

The CSW took a long look at the condom and I asked her if everything was fine and she said yes. I did not notice any tears or rips on the upper part of the condom and the head of my penis was obviously not exposed that I could see - on the top. It certainly did not look like a hoop with some fringe as some posters describe a catastrophic failure. She wrapped the condom in toilet paper about a minute after I pulled out and rolled it up and discarded it.

This was the first time ever that I had engaged in insertive anal sex and has been a one-time event.

D. Normally I would not have been anxious, but perhaps unnecessarily I should stress that my baby was due a couple of weeks later.

E. Two weeks after this incident, I became extremely anxious over the delivery of my baby, family affairs, etc. And that's when I started noticing strange symptoms. I'm fully aware that you do not diagnose symptoms on this forum and that the absence or - presumed - existence of symptoms don't mean much in terms of HIV or ARS diagnosis. I'll be a pain and describe what I have felt for the past four weeks:

- Needless to say I have been extremely anxious with doubts in my mind as to whether I had used a latex condom, if there had been a tear that I missed, if the CSW was HIV+, and especially what would happen to life as I know it should I become infected.
- Quite strong pains in both armpits, although I kept palpating my lymph nodes and they were not at any time engorged. My pain was more muscular, in both armpits but not in the pit but rather in the muscles connecting to the pectorals and rear lower shoulder. I got a massage and did some yoga exercises and they greatly helped to reduce my muscle pain. But sometimes I'll still get sudden pains in those muscles.
- I have not had a fever or strange rash at all. I have not had any genital complaints either (bumps, chancres, rashes, discharges) - none at all.
- Tenderness in the groin area, especially in the tendons. I can feel some lymph nodes but not swollen or painful.
- Painful jaw lymph nodes, but I have lived with these for many years.
- Recently, in the last week, a cold.
- Mild night sweats, not soaking but noticeable but no fever. Hot flashes.
- Short term memory loss.
- Anorexia and some mild weight loss.
- Nausea but only when I become more anxious.

Six weeks have come up and I find myself debating on the whether I should get tested over this single incident as described or not.

I normally wouldn't sweat it over, as I never did in past (4 and more years) similiar behavior but these symptoms have got my mind racing. I'm aware I might be dealing with symptoms of OCD and guilt but I won't rant over guilt on this forum.

I think I am recuperating from a cold (apparently no flu) without a fever.

I have (for now) two specific questions:

1. Would you recommend for me to test? I think it might help put my mind at ease but I am truly terrified of testing positive.

2. Would having a cold, or possibly flu, right now influence in obtaining a false positive result through a 4th generation ELISA test? That is the test I can anonymously get in Mexico through the largest AIDS clinic in Latin America. It's a quick result test. I live in Mexico.

3. I talked to my head Dr. in the USA and he said that although he did not expect for me to test positive for HIV, I should wait for three months to test conclusively. He also said that an early test could come positive causing me to become "extremely upset". So I became even more upset!

Thanks for all of the information you may provide. Sorry for the long post.

Worried in Mexico.

Offline anxiousmale30

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  • Posts: 3
Re: Scared over protected anal sex with CSW
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2012, 01:40:27 PM »
Sorry I meant to say that a bit over 3 years ago I tested NEGATIVE for HIV. Wow, talk about Freudian slips!

Negative three years ago 100%. Monogamous until 6 weeks ago.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Scared over protected anal sex with CSW
« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2012, 03:33:59 PM »
After all of that, I don't see any risk for HIV transmission nor any need for an HIV test. The only reason to test is if you feel you want the inevitable negative result strictly for your peace of mind.

Condoms provide very effective protection against HIV transmission. Your condom did not fail.

Often guys who have  strayed are subsequently very anxious and it's about guilt rather than a genuine risk.

There is certainly nothing suggestive of HIV in your symptoms. If any of them persist you should discuss them with your doctor.

This is not an HIV situation. Let it go and get on with your life. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline anxiousmale30

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  • Posts: 3
Re: Scared over protected anal sex with CSW
« Reply #3 on: January 09, 2012, 05:20:07 PM »
Muchas gracias por tu pronta y acertada respuesta Andy,

I went and just got tested at the AHF Mexico for my own peace of mind. Negative. INSTA 3rd gen blood sample test.

Told the people there about your site/forum. Their comments resembled yours, I was told that my situation was a no risk situation given my account. I appreciate your shrink-talk. You're right and I understood well enough, but I still wanted more "inner peace".

I hope that my account and experience can be of some help to other readers in this forum.

Thanks again, with my very best regards to you and this forum's team.

Offline Andy Velez

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  • Posts: 31,906
Re: Scared over protected anal sex with CSW
« Reply #4 on: January 09, 2012, 06:04:09 PM »
You're welcome. Hopefully now your peace of mind will allow you to get on with your life.
Andy Velez


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