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Author Topic: Yes its about oral, but please help  (Read 3220 times)

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Offline concerned19911

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Yes its about oral, but please help
« on: December 12, 2011, 06:06:34 AM »
First of all, I would just like to say thank-you to you all for such an informative and supportive website – it really is a big help.

Nine days ago now, I gave and received unprotected oral sex with a 20 year old guy (I’m 19). It was very brief; I had his penis in my mouth for all of a few seconds after I realized what it was I was doing. But after that, I was wetting my fingers in my mouth and rubbing his penis and then putting my fingers back in my mouth etc. At no point did I take any ejaculate in my mouth.

He told me he was clean, but I am still terribly worried and have a number of questions I would really like to be answered.

1.I understand that oral is a very low risk activity, but why is it that certain government/health websites list oral as a “growing risk” and “unsafe sex”, whereas your website states that oral is almost completely safe?

2.At the time, I had chapped and slightly cracked lips, although they were not bleeding. Would this increase the chance of infection?

3.Have I increased my risk by touching his penis, then putting my fingers in my mouth and repeating this several times?

4.Since the encounter, I have had a slightly sore throat and today I have developed a runny nose. Is this of concern and could it be linked to ARS?

I would really, really appreciate answers to my four questions, rather than a blanket response.
My greatest concern is the cracked lips and touching his penis then putting my fingers in my mouth repeatedly. This seems like a good way to get infected. 

I’m just overcome by fear and guilt and wish I could turn back the clock and avoid the whole incident!
I guess like anyone who thinks they have been exposed to HIV, I feel that I could be the “exception to the rule” when it comes to oral sex and HIV infection.

Finally, the earliest I can get tested will be at approximately 8 weeks. Is this a sufficient window period for an accurate result after my encounter?

Thank-you so much. 

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Yes its about oral, but please help
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2011, 06:37:24 AM »
You never had an exposure and your symptoms have nothing to do with ARS. If you are concerned about your symptoms see your doctor.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Yes its about oral, but please help
« Reply #2 on: December 12, 2011, 08:57:14 AM »
HIV is a fragile virus and is not transmitted in the manner you are concerned about including the details of your fingers and your cracked lips.

Longterm studies have been conducted of sero-discordant couples who had lots of mutual unprotected oral sex and only protected vaginal and anal intercourse. To date not one sero-negative partner has become infected. Not one.

You don't have to believe that you were not at risk. If you want to get tested strictly for your peace of mind then do that at 3 months and collect the inevtiable negative result.

Perhaps you are new to sex with men and that maybe playing a part in your unwarranted fears. I can tell you we are not going to get into a round of what ifs and buts on this issue. HIV is not your problem. Really.

Andy Velez

Offline concerned19911

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Re: Yes its about oral, but please help
« Reply #3 on: December 12, 2011, 09:02:17 PM »
Thank-you both for your very quick replies.

I guess it's made very difficult when I read conflicting information. Your websites and others state that oral isn't transmitted by oral sex (unless there are open wounds in the mouth) - whereas other sites claim the opposite, that oral is quite a high risk. This just fuels my fears.

Also, I plan on getting tested at three months, but would a test at 8 weeks also be at least partially accurate? I really need some peace of mind and this is the earliest I can get tested.

The anguish is really difficult for me.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Yes its about oral, but please help
« Reply #4 on: December 12, 2011, 10:03:31 PM »
When there has been a genuine risk the average time to seroconversion iss 22 days. All but the very smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so within 4-6 weeks after an exposure. After a risk, testing at 3 months is for a conclusive negative result.

So yes, a negative at 8 weeks is very meaningful.
Andy Velez

Offline concerned19911

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Re: Yes its about oral, but please help
« Reply #5 on: January 18, 2012, 09:04:37 PM »
Well today, exactly 46 days after this incident, (6.5 weeks) I had a finger-prick rapid test done at my local clinic. Of course, the result was negative which is a really big load off. I knew my risk was slim, but I had to test to be sure. 

I still plan on getting re-tested at 13 weeks, just to be doubly sure, but I've been told and read that my result is unlikely to change.

Offline jkinatl2

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  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Yes its about oral, but please help
« Reply #6 on: January 18, 2012, 09:07:57 PM »
Well it comes as exactly no shock, but if it makes you less anxious, then I am happy for you.

Use a condom for penetrative anal/vaginal sex and you can avoid HIV infection. Ridiculous how simple that is.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline concerned19911

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Re: Yes its about oral, but please help
« Reply #7 on: March 05, 2012, 08:01:39 PM »
I’ve been in a pretty dark and frightening place for the last three months despite the fact that what I did was little to no risk for HIV infection.

I guess I was very concerned about the long term consequences of HIV infection. This experience has taught me a lot about safe sexual practices and about myself, but it’s time to put it all behind me and move forward. 

Today I conclusively tested HIV negative at 3 months and 4 days after my abovementioned incident.

Thank-you all for your informative replies and guidance. 

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Yes its about oral, but please help
« Reply #8 on: March 05, 2012, 09:28:16 PM »
That's always a happy test result. Now you need to move on with your life.
Andy Velez


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