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Author Topic: bachelor party - very worried  (Read 4079 times)

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Offline Lcanev

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bachelor party - very worried
« on: September 21, 2006, 10:21:08 PM »
Last Saturday, I and some other guys took a friend to a strip club for his bachelor party. We had a few (too many) drinks and at the end of the party we left we some girls. I had sex with one of the prostitutes. Actually, I think that everybody at the party got laid that night with the prostitutes.

There was some deep kissing involved and she then put me a condom on and gave oral sex and we then had vaginal sex. After 5 minutes or so I removed the condom (which did not break) and the prostitute gave me a hand job until I came.

My friends tell me that this is not risk, since I had a condom, but I am freaking out. Some people say that condoms diminish the risk but that one can still get hiv even  with a condom. I am actually quite concerned that I may have contract hiv from this episode. What do you think of this? Are condoms safe or not? Was I at risk?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: bachelor party - very worried
« Reply #1 on: September 21, 2006, 10:56:42 PM »
Please read the "Welcome" thread and folllow the link to the lessons and read up on transmission. You didn't have a risk. Condoms are very reliable as long as you apply the condom on correctly.

Offline Lcanev

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Re: bachelor party - very worried
« Reply #2 on: September 24, 2006, 12:51:24 PM »
I think the condom was applied correctly, as it covered all the penis and did not break. Are there any other ways in which the condom may have failed (holes, etc) that I could have miss?

Thank you

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: bachelor party - very worried
« Reply #3 on: September 24, 2006, 01:31:47 PM »
You're in the worried domain of "what ifs." That's bad for your health emotionally.

As Rod has correctly told you condoms provide very effective protection. When a condom fails it is not a subtle event. You know because it falls apart. There's none of this business of tiny microscopic holes through which HIV is going to sneak and infect you. Really.

I suspect your anxiety is much more about the experience having been with a pro and the excessive drinking, etc. You're a dog like the rest of us so you went carrying a bit.

There's no basis in any of this for concern about HIV. None of the other activities were risky for HIV.

In general if you are sexually active we do recommend that you should do a full STD panel regularly -- at least once a year and every six months is even better depending on how active you are.

This time out there's no cause for further concern.

Andy Velez

Offline Lcanev

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Re: bachelor party - very worried
« Reply #4 on: September 25, 2006, 12:18:53 AM »
Thanks Andy and Rapidrod. I think my concerns were fed by some other sites that say that condoms are not completely reliable and that one can still get HIV even with using condoms. Meanwhile, I have found on the net a study where couples where one was HIV – and other HIV + had sex for a number of years always using condoms and no one got infected. So, if I understand correctly, using condoms always will always protect you from HIV, provided that it does not break (and regardless of your partner being a prostitute or not). If this is the case, why are certain people saying “don’t have sex with prostitutes because you will get aids” or “condoms don’t protect you”, etc?

Thanks much.

Offline Ann

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Re: bachelor party - very worried
« Reply #5 on: September 25, 2006, 04:37:37 AM »

You didn't need to search the internet to find that study, it's mentioned in our Transmission Lesson, which you would have read had you followed Rodney's instruction to read the Welcome thread. In fact, there were THREE such studies and they all came to the same conclusion.

As for why some sites give out misinformation concerning condoms, they have a religious/moral agenda. They don't want you to have intercourse with anyone outside a traditional heterosexual marriage and they use scare tactics and myth to get you to do as they wish.

Correctly used condoms protect, no matter who is using them. It's not who you do, it's how you do it that counts. Check out the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use them with confidence.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

While you do NOT need to test over this specific incident, if you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms and avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts


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