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Author Topic: Points of view?  (Read 1676 times)

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Offline wolfter

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Points of view?
« on: December 01, 2011, 08:57:23 AM »
I just need to vent a little bit this morning.  I'm in that place where confusion and anger are diametrically opposed to the heart.  I took a leap last night and invited Stephen to the V.  I had an officer's meeting and he enjoys my brother's company so I thought it'd be great if they spent time together while I attended my meeting.

Everything was going great until too much alcohol flowed.  I realize he had a 2 hour headstart and considering he was with my bro, it could be considered a 4 hour headstart.   ::)  We finally had a little time alone and I didn't appreciate some of his comments.  I realize he is recently diagnosed but that gives no one the right to displace that anger!

I took his comments to heart until I thought through them.  I was accused of not being enough of an advocate and speaking to this disease.  This coming from a man who stayed in a marriage and has a young child born of a lie.  But hey, I'm not judging?

There's a bit of truth to his comments but he doesn't know me enough to make those determinations.  When Bill and I first got together, we had to overcome a lot of obstacles and we faced those challenged head on.  We both had young children and had to put that interest first.  We were activists in our own way;  we showed our community that a gay couple could live a productive life without being the perverts to be feared.  We maintained a nice home, worked and were awesome weekend parents.  Our home became the center of activity and the neighborhood parents eventually accepted and trusted us with their children.

We broke a lot of barriers in our own way.  I was too focused on fighting the court system on a regular basis trying to prove that my lifestyle wasn't a detriment to my son's well being.  That was a regular fight for over a decade!  I guess I believed that living a productive life and crushing the stereotypes of a gay couple was as important as any activism. 

I just don't need someone who falsely chose a hetero lifestyle for most of his life to judge me tell me the facts of life.  And to have him tell me that I don't understand?  I so wanted to bitch slap him. 

Thanks all!  I just needed to write all of this.  I could have written in my journal and moved on, but I was so angry that I almost posted on FB.  Imagine that....lol

Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline Basquo

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Re: Points of view?
« Reply #1 on: December 01, 2011, 09:05:10 AM »
I think you should still bitch-slap him. Especially now that he's had time to sober up.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Points of view?
« Reply #2 on: December 01, 2011, 09:11:19 AM »
Hey Wolfie ... sounds like the liquor was talking . I guess the only thing to do is have a sober conversation with him about it . If he is the type to discuss serious topics while intoxicated you may want to discuss that while sober also . It takes work to maintain friends and lovers alike .  
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Offline Ann

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Re: Points of view?
« Reply #3 on: December 01, 2011, 11:18:01 AM »
Is this guy by any chance a Republican?
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Offline wolfter

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Re: Points of view?
« Reply #4 on: December 01, 2011, 11:38:06 AM »
Is this guy by any chance a Republican?

Aren't all closeted gay guys? ;D

I'm still in that stage where I'm processing how much I am willing to invest in helping someone deal with their demons.  I'm not sure I have it in me at this stage of life.  30 years of being closeted is going to require a lot of cleaning.  He qualifies statments such as never allowing his ex and child to know and has no desire to ever be completely open about his sexuality.  I was there once, like 20+ years ago.

Or maybe just continue the status quo and and physical relationship until something better comes along?  Shallow; yes, realistic; yes.

Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline Theyer

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Re: Points of view?
« Reply #5 on: December 02, 2011, 02:48:44 AM »
I need to do some catching up with your life ,it seemed only awhile ago  I wishing you luck on the first date.

3 thought ,s  come to mind. 1. is introducing Stephen to the notion that the person is political it was simply a political act fighting to bring up your child within a gay relationship.
2. alcohol is to sense as the euro is to stability.   3 . you really have been a busy man and boy.

"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn


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