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Author Topic: Could I have gotten HIV from this exposure?  (Read 3484 times)

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Offline amoore658

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Could I have gotten HIV from this exposure?
« on: November 17, 2011, 09:42:24 AM »
3 weeks ago from next Monday (21st November) I performed unprotected oral, briefly with no ejaculation, on a guy who works in a gay sauna. He also performed oral on me again with no ejaculation, and fingered me. We also "deep kissed".
I have asked him everyday since does he have HIV, to which he said, "No, I wouldn't lie about something so serious" and that he gets tested every three months. It is interesting to note he has a boyfriend who he cheated on with me.
After basically harassing my Doctor everyday, I've been told I had practically no risk and he's never heard a reliable story of someone being infected this way, and has never met one of those people personally. But then my mind started working over time, I thought "What if the guy I gave head, [deliberately] bit his finger, and when he fingered me blood got in"... Far fetched, I know, but I can't stop worrying about that.
I even rang the sauna he works at, and got speaking to his boyfriend, who informed me "no employees have HIV and employees do not provide any sexual favours"
But I still cannot stop worrying that he [deliberately] infected me
Ive asked him so many times each day if he has HIV, he's become rather angry, deleted me of Facebook and said "He wouldn't lie about that, and why don't I wait until I get my results bbecause then I'll see he was telling the truth". I also told him, if he had it and told me now I wouldn't sue him, but if I found out he was lying, I would sue him. He responded with the same "I know Im clean, wait until you get your results"
I have to wait until the 5th of December to get the HIV Duo Test done. Any ideas on how accurate this is at 5 weeks? In the UK, this is "preferred" method of testing, and some clinics say its accurate at 28 days, others say to get retested at 3 months post-exposure to be sure. I did read that its 99.89% accurate at 28 days.
I haven't had any ARS symptoms yet - not that they are specific in any way - apart from neck pain.
Anyway, thanks for your help, just want a second opinion
Thank you  :) :)

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Could I have gotten HIV from this exposure?
« Reply #1 on: November 17, 2011, 09:55:22 AM »
The most cursury search of this forum using the term "oral" would tell you that this is absolutely NOT an HIV situation. Ruthlessly pestering your partner about his HIV status is not only rude and in extremely poor taste, but it simply doesn't make any difference. He could be HIV positive with a soaring viral load and you still would have had no risk.

HIV positive  people are not walking bags of venom whose body chemistry can defy the laws of science. You do not have a risk for HIV from the incident as you describe it. Period.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Could I have gotten HIV from this exposure?
« Reply #2 on: November 17, 2011, 02:01:00 PM »
The only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission are unprotected anal and vaginal intercourse. As long as condoms are used everytime for those activities you will be well protected.

There is no need for testing nor for further concern about HIV in relation to this incident.

We do advise anyone who is sexually active to at least annually have a full STD panel done. Other stds are much easier to acquire than HIV.

Lay off of bothering that guy about HIV. You are responsible for your protecting your own health and need to act accordingly.
Andy Velez

Offline amoore658

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Re: Could I have gotten HIV from this exposure?
« Reply #3 on: November 17, 2011, 02:09:42 PM »
Thank you both for your replies. I've been able to relax a bit more now :)
I'm definetly staying celebate again until I find the right one.
Thanks for your help :)

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Could I have gotten HIV from this exposure?
« Reply #4 on: November 17, 2011, 04:58:51 PM »
You're welcome. I'm glad the exchanges were helpful to you.

But if you decide not to be celibate, then use a condom everytime for intercourse. And you should not dispense with using condoms until such time as you may find yourself in a securely monogamous relationship in which both partners reliably test negative together.

Andy Velez

Offline amoore658

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How can I rase awareness of HIV in my area?
« Reply #5 on: January 07, 2012, 04:58:19 PM »
Hi there. Firstly, I apologise if I shouldn't be posting this topic on Aids Meds, but I have been unable to find other forums that help. I live in Northern Ireland, which is part of the UK; basically it's covered by the NHS and the HPA, which recently published new HIV cases in NI. The frightening thing is, the infection rate is INCREASING. I read the Document (attached at the bottom). There is a 316% increase since 2001!! I believe the majority of NI infections were between MSM, however in the UK in general, it's heterosexual contact that spreads it.

The reason I think this is, is when I attended school, the teachings on STDs was brilliant - except for HIV. I remember when we did learn about it, the teacher never used the word HIV - she called it Aids, said it was transmitted through injections and unprotected sex, and could be treated. - She left it at that! No advice on testing, statistics, the fact heterosexuals get it too. I believe education on HIV across the rest of NI is also inadequate.

Secondly, an HIV Specialist from a NI hospital was on TV recently saying if you're diagnosed with HIV at 20, you will more than likely live into your 70s. Although, yes that is great news, it's just making people be more careless and help the virus spread. No mention on the fact it's increasing, no mention that HIV does not discriminate etc. That's the only place I've seen it mentioned in the "mainsteam" media.

I'm also finding it hard to believe that in Belfast, our only "major" gay club doesn't even have condom vending machines in the toilets! I couldn't believe that because that's where most gays would probably pick up a "one night stand" and the fact most new NI infections are amongst MSM.

I'm not sure if this lack off HIV knowledge is widespread, or just in NI. But I am determined to increase awareness of HIV, and stop it. Over 30 years later, people are still getting infected, which I think is stupid.

I was wondering, how can I go about increasing awareness? My main concern would be the lack off education on HIV in schools.

I am putting together a flyer, which I will be handing out in work to customers as of from Monday. Its a fact sheet highlighting how HIV is transmitted; how HIV does NOT descriminate and also testing. I would like someone to confirm that what I've put down for testing is accurate?
* p24 antigen test [this is offered by GUM clinics] is a good indication of HIV status ONLY if you believe you were exposed to the virus 10-28 days following exposure (reason I'm unsure is I've seen conflicting views all over the net) but it is NOT conclusive on its own.
* HIV 4th Gen/Duo/Combi test: Good indication at 6 weeks (according to NHS/GUM clinics)
* Antibody test MUST be carried out three months following exposure to rule out HIV infection.
* If you believe you were infected with HIV, you are highly contageous and should refrain from unsafe sex/needle sharing.

Does anyone have any other ideas of how I can spread the message of HIV?

And again, I'm sorry if I posted this in the wrong place - I just can't get decent information anywhere on the internet, as they all seem to contradict one another.

Thanks very much for your time & patience

[http://www.hpa.org.uk/web/HPAweb&HPAwebStandard/HPAweb_C/1204186174726 - if you're interested on how HIV in NI is increasing]

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Could I have gotten HIV from this exposure?
« Reply #6 on: January 07, 2012, 05:24:07 PM »
First of all I have merged your threads here. Please follow our rule about posting always only this same thread. Thanks for your cooperation.

If you are interested in improving the level of HIV education I suggest you get in touch with any AIDS service organization in your country and area. You might also contact any appropriate local healthcare providers to see how a program might be started and/or enlarged for same.

We focus here on addressing the specific concerns of those who write in.

Good luck in your efforts.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Could I have gotten HIV from this exposure?
« Reply #7 on: January 08, 2012, 04:43:55 AM »

One of the main hiv organisations in Belfast is The HIV Support Centre located in St James Street South. See their Contact Us page for further details.

There are also other organisations located in Belfast. You can find their details at aidsmap.com's hiv organisation database. (Eleven organisations listed over two pages)

I urge you to not act on your own. (you may be opening yourself up to legal action if your information is not accurate) Rather, get involved in one of your local organisations where you will receive training and hiv awareness education.

You're correct - straights are making up more and more of the numbers in the overall statistics in the UK these days. This is partly due to infections acquired whist on holiday abroad (people get drunk, throw caution to the wind and forget to use condoms with the locals) and it's partly due to immigration (not a particularly PC fact to point out, but epidemiologically correct).

Years ago it was also due to people who share drug injecting equipment but with the implementation of state-sponsored needle-exchange services, this is no longer true to the extent it once was.

We even have a sizeable straight poz population here on the Isle of Man, regardless of how much the politicians still want to pretend that hiv/aids does not exist here on our Rock. Where hiv is concerned, most of our MHKs have their heads buried so far into the sand on Douglas beach you can just barely see the soles of their shoes.

I've said it before here in these pages and I'm sure I'll say it again and again and again... sexually speaking, the ONLY true risk group is that group of people who have unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse with people of unknown or positive hiv status. And let's face it, straight folks are in the majority when it comes to having unprotected intercourse.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts


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