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Author Topic: Very worried about HIV  (Read 1811 times)

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Offline worriedlady

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Very worried about HIV
« on: April 24, 2011, 07:26:03 PM »
Dear All,

First of all, thanks for all the contributors to this forum!

I am a female in my 20's have been through a pretty stressful part of my life and have some self esteem issues.  In the last 6 months, I have had 5 casual partners, which is completely out of my character as previously I only had one long term boyfriend of several years.  I never had a worry about HIV, but it crept into my mind a couple of months ago and and am quite convinced that I have it - I spend a substantial part of the day thinking about it and sometimes I get real panic attacks thinking of it.

I believe I am not thinking like a rational person so I would really appreciate your more objective points of view.

So here is a history of my potential exposures

1st encounter : Oral sex - receptive.  I made sure that the guy did not ejaculate in my mouth. 

2nd encounter : The guy intended penetration, but did not - his penis touched the opening of my vagina, but I'm pretty sure there was no penetration.  He fingered me and performed cunninlingus on me.

3rd encounter : 3 x protected sex with a guy, although I kept on imagining the condoms broke, fell off etc.  I was pretty drunk so I wasn't sure.  I asked him and he said everything's ok.... but who knows?

Got the ultrasensitive HIV RNA-PCR test at 2 weeks after last exposure (meant to be over 99% accurate at that point) and came back negative.

A few weeks back, I kissed a guy.  It was a closed mouth kiss, but my lips were very chapped.  It is quite possible that i had bleeding wounds on my lips. I kept imagining that he had wounds on his lips.  I know saliva inhibits HIV, but what about areas on lips which are not covered by saliva etc?  Then I started thinking what if he is newly infected with HIV, and has a high viral load?  So on and so forth. 

Do you guys think I have anything to worry about?  I keep on telling myself that I don't but somehow I am deeply convinced that I have done something incredibly stupid and I have to worry about HIV.

Thanks so much for your help,  take care xxx

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Very worried about HIV
« Reply #1 on: April 24, 2011, 09:17:08 PM »
Nothing you are reporting put you at risk for HIV transmission. You apparently used a condom for intercourse, which is exactly what you are supposed to do. Unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse are the ONLY confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV. Anything else is only theoretically risky. But we know from statistics and experience that real risk is about unprotected intercourse.

Use condoms everytime for intercourse. No exceptions. And if a condom had broken you would have known it because when that happens it ends up looking a hoop with fringe on the guy's penis. (It's not about itty bitty little holes as people often fear.)

There's no need for testing over these incidents. However, avoid excessive drinking when you are going to have sex. Drinking definitely can adversely affect your ability to negotiate safer sex.

You are worrying needlessly.

Andy Velez


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