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Author Topic: Trying to Conceive and positive, husband is negative, diagnosed in Oct 10  (Read 4432 times)

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Offline unichick

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  • Posts: 2
Hi all,
I'm new to this forum after doing a bit of googling last night on my phone. I have to say it's a relief to "meet" people in the same boat as me as I have only spoken to one person with the same disease and he's a gay man. I'll give you my story. Myself and my husband have been trying to conceive 2 years now. We finally got an appointment with a fertility clinic and did all the viral screening. I was shocked to be told to arrive at the GUM clinic shortly after and given the news that I may be positive. Husband was also told this. After a few weeks wait we found out I tested positive but husband was thankfully negative. At first I was in total shock and told him to leave me. He would be better off. But he's a great man and we've been together 10 years so he had no intention of doing this.
Our appointment with fertility clinic had to be cancelled as they don't cater for people with this disease. We're currently waiting for a referral to Chelsea Westminister in London. I see some of the ladys here have been there. All experiences of the hospital would be great to hear girls.
So at the minute I'm still not in a great headspace but way better than I was before. CD4 has gone down to 320 with stress. I haven't started on meds yet. My doctor is good but harrassed. She sees 600 patients a month and doesn't have the time to do a letter of referral for weeks. We've been frustrated by the health system. I have been worried that they are so busy they may miss something and I could die. I want to go on meds but she's stalling.  I have been going for counselling and speaking with a HIV charity advisor so I've come a long way.
Any advice and opinions welcome girls. I'd love to correspond too so if you would be interested please let me know. Thanks for listening.

Offline riverlassie

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  • Posts: 31
  • Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder
Re: Trying to Conceive and positive, husband is negative, diagnosed in Oct 10
« Reply #1 on: February 19, 2011, 11:03:09 AM »
Hey Unichick , Welcome to the sight though I wish , as I'm sure you do, that you didn't have to find us. But here is where your at  and this is a good place to get to understand things. But let me first tell you that there is still no reason why you shouldn't continue to try to have a child with your hubby. Things have come a long way from when I was diagnosed with being pregnate over 20 years ago. I would of had a son . But that is a different story at a different life time. Nowadys it is soooo much better. . I will be glad to talk with you any time . You can even e-mail me direct at jrflo@comcast.net.  Sometimes a direct line is easier for me than going through all the scrolling here . But you will find many good folks here , men women straight or gay . When it comes to being pos we're all the same.  Just some different personal issues. But support is for all regardless .
Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but doesn't get you anywhere.

Offline unichick

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  • Posts: 2
Re: Trying to Conceive and positive, husband is negative, diagnosed in Oct 10
« Reply #2 on: February 21, 2011, 09:39:57 AM »
Hi riverlassie, thanks so much for your reply. I thought no one was going to reply. Sob. I'll drop you an email shortly. Things are getting easier day by day but I do worry about the future ahead. Doctor told me straight away that I can have kids and live a long life but I'm a skeptic (about most things in general) so it's taking me a while to get my head around it all.

If there's anyone who's been to the Chelsea Westminster in London could you please share your stories. We're hoping to go there in the next few months. Thanks.

Offline franfrog

  • Member
  • Posts: 238
Hi unichick
I can not help you with the being a part of Chelsea Westminster as I am in the US.  I can however let you know I know about being skeptical as far as having a baby and being in your siustion.  Let me give you a quick run of me.  I have 2 kids from previous relationships and my daughters father passed this disease to me.  I only found out about 5 years ago as my daughter is 13.  I have been with my current husband for 10 years almost and I did the same when i found out told him to leave me but that obviosly he did not do.  We have since my diagnosis 5 years ago, 9 weeks ago had a beautiful baby girl.  We did not intend on having children as he has taken my 2 on as his and we were content with that.  Our daughter was a surprise and was conceived the old fashioned way with no fertility help.  My husband still tests negative thank god and my daughter has been going through her testing and is testing negative. 
I know stress right now is a big factor but it will get easier.  It is mangable and a great thing that I know I can and will (am determined) to see ALL of my children graduate get married and have their own children!
If you would like to talk more-like riverlassie said it is easier to email sometimes.  You are more then welcome to email me- franfrog@optonline.net   
7/05 diagnosis cd4- 52 vl -?
08/05 cd4-299 vl-1900
10/05 cd4-249 vl-349
12/05 cd4-349 vl-52
03/06 cd4-454 vl-<50
06/06 cd4-508 vl-<50

Offline usernotdefined

  • Member
  • Posts: 23
Hey Unichick,

I am in the UK and pregnant, I received my positive diagnosis in December 2010 when I was around 11 weeks pregnant. My partner is negative.

My CD4s are fine at the moment but to reduce the risk of me transmitting the virus to my baby I am on short term combination therapy, so being pregnant, or planning a pregnancy should definitely not be a reason for your Dr to delay putting you on meds.

I am proof that having a successful pregnancy while being positive is perfectly possible, have a look through my previous posts and feel free to PM me any questions you have.

Take care,



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