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Author Topic: Funny Americans on the bus and train  (Read 2879 times)

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Offline Cliff

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Funny Americans on the bus and train
« on: September 08, 2006, 08:56:41 AM »
On the bus last week there were these two American college-aged girls talking loudly on the bus.  Among some of their more humorous statements...
Girl A- "Oh, like that teacher is soooo hard.  They weren't allowed cheat-sheets during the exam.  Plus it wasn't open-book and you couldn't even use a calculator.  But then again, maybe their math problems weren't as hard as ours.  I mean, maybe they had stuff like 5 x 5 whereas we had stuff like 5 x .5 or something."

Girl B- "oh you are so right.  plus it's been so long since I've used a calculator, that I'm not even sure I know how to use them anymore.  You know like that TI-123, oh man, there are so many numbers on that thing."
Girl A- "US stuff sucks.  Like our cars are a peace of shit."

Girl B- "I know.  Our stuff is so Ghetto.  Like Chevy, who would buy one of those things."

Girl A- "Or even a Ford."

Girl B- "oh, I think those are the same company."

Girl A- "Are you sure?  I thought one of them was a GM."

Girl B- "No, Ford owns both GM and Chevy."

Girl A- "oh yeah, you're right."
I get on the train today and the two American couples get on (again, talking at the top of their lungs....but they were old, so maybe it was a hearing issue).

Loud Lady 1- "Do yall wanna sit this way or that way?"

Loud Lady 1's husband- "I need to sit this way....I like to see where I'm going."

Loud Lady 2- "Oh we like to sit that way too.  Okay, well do you guys want a window seat or an aisle.  Jim likes the window seats on the plane.  He likes to look out."

Loud Lady 1 goes to the toilet.  Her husband puts his (very clean and white) tennis shoes on the seat and says at the top of his voice.  "I'M GONNA PUT MY FOOT ON HER SEAT SO THAT NO ONE TAKES IT.  CAUSE THEY'LL GRAB 'EM IF YOU DON'T WATCH OUT." 

Mind you, everyone but two guys had a seat and there was still other seats available, so those guys clearly didn't want to sit down.

Loud Lady 1 comes back from the toilet, WITH A TOOTHPICK IN HER MOUTH.

Loud Lady 1 then begins to hand out toothpicks to the rest of the party.

Loud Lady 1's husband then begins to lecture them on how fast they were going and that this was a bullet train, (in reality it was just a local train going from one London suburb to another).  This fact becomes readily apparent when a high speed First Great Western train speeds past our slowly-moving local train. 

He then proclaims that the train that just past us was going way too fast and he wouldn't ride it if you paid him.
« Last Edit: September 08, 2006, 09:26:55 AM by Cliff »

Offline lydgate

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Re: Funny Americans on the bus and train
« Reply #1 on: September 08, 2006, 08:59:26 AM »
Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

George Eliot, Middlemarch, final paragraph

Offline AlanBama

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Re: Funny Americans on the bus and train
« Reply #2 on: September 08, 2006, 10:23:29 AM »
LOL @ Cliff !

It's shocking how dumb some people are isn't it?   Ever watch Jay Leno's "Jay Walking"?   It's amazing how many grown adults in this country have no clue who is president, or who was the FIRST president....or how many states there are.  Simple facts that we learned in grammar school.

I love that about "too many numbers on the calculator".   But you know what?  I'll bet that same girl knows how to make her cell phone do ANYTHING, can program any feature on it....  now why is that?

« Last Edit: September 08, 2006, 02:19:24 PM by AlanBama »
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline Sae

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Re: Funny Americans on the bus and train
« Reply #3 on: September 08, 2006, 10:25:38 AM »
At the risk of sounding a bit snobby...,

That's my biggest complaint about the U.S., on average it seems the talking is louder.  If you are in a different country, as soon as you hit a U.S. airport you can hear the difference.  U.S. restaurants are so loud, but say in Brazil...or Europe its much quieter.


Offline HIVworker

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Re: Funny Americans on the bus and train
« Reply #4 on: September 08, 2006, 12:44:30 PM »

What is it about touring Americans that makes them talk so loud? In fact, what is it about tourists that makes them talk so loud? Aussies and Kiwis are as bad. Although I went to Krakow once and a British tourist was trying to ask a policeman where a post-office was. She thought that by saying it louder and louder, he would understand...

"You know, postoffice, a postoffice, you know, postoffice..
« Last Edit: September 08, 2006, 12:46:35 PM by HIVworker »
NB. Any advice about HIV is given in addition to your own medical advice and not intended to replace it. You should never make clinical decisions based on what anyone says on the internet but rather check with your ID doctor first. Discussions from the internet are just that - Discussions. They may give you food for thought, but they should not direct you to do anything but fuel discussion.

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: Funny Americans on the bus and train
« Reply #5 on: September 08, 2006, 02:20:24 PM »
I don't know whether it is an American thing but I think people in general talk too much. I'm known as a quiet, reserved person, which I know makes some people uncomfortable. I just think unless you have something to communicate, at least an interesting story to tell, you shouldn't just be yapping to hear yourself. I was recently on a plane and the guy next to me start asking me questions. I was very polite (I'm Southern after all) but I just wanted to tell the guy "You are not Barbara Walters. Stop the interview". Thankfully I had my Bose noise cancelling headset.

Offline jack

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Re: Funny Americans on the bus and train
« Reply #6 on: September 08, 2006, 02:36:27 PM »
Alan, don't you think most of the people on "jay walking" are just trying to be funny? I have watched it a lot and just can't believe people are that stupid. Of course when Howie Mandel would do that thing with the camera in his glasses he would really catch some morons.

I like loud restaurants. I like noise. If I want quiet I can always move. I guess I am one of those loud talkers. I always have something important to say and wanna make sure everyone gets to hear it.

Offline AlanBama

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Re: Funny Americans on the bus and train
« Reply #7 on: September 08, 2006, 09:04:37 PM »
I don't know J., if they are serious or trying to be funny......I have seen some that I thought were dead serious......and dead STUPID too....
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline DanielMark

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Re: Funny Americans on the bus and train
« Reply #8 on: September 09, 2006, 05:55:18 AM »
* no offence to my US neighbours.  :-*

Rick Mercer, co-host of the irreverent CBC news satire This Hour Has 22 Minutes and star of the Canadian sitcom Made in Canada (aka The Industry in the US), reveals how little Americans know about Canada in a series of segments called Talking to Americans. Think you know more about Canada than Al Gore or George W. Bush?





Offline ACinKC

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Re: Funny Americans on the bus and train
« Reply #9 on: September 10, 2006, 09:47:39 PM »
Americans can be DOUCHEBAGS!!  Trust me, I'm a member ::)
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Funny Americans on the bus and train
« Reply #10 on: September 10, 2006, 09:55:41 PM »
Australians can be pretty ordinary. I remember sitting on the train, going through a particularly bogan (kinda like white-trash) part of Western Sydney when I overheard this young woman talking on her mobile phone. She appeared to be discussing the arrangements for some sort of soiree.

To set the scene think of the broadest Aussie accent you can. Steve "Stingray" Irwin style. I'll never forget this classic line:

"Aw yeah, it'll be grouse. Nah, youse don't have ta bring wine. We've got both flavours. Red and white."

(Who has met the enemy and it wears hipsters)


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