Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
January 18, 2018, 04:59:49 PM

Login with username, password and session length

  • Total Posts: 725264
  • Total Topics: 59116
  • Online Today: 361
  • Online Ever: 1421
  • (August 13, 2016, 05:18:44 AM)
Users Online
Users: 2
Guests: 281
Total: 283


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: My mom's passing  (Read 8228 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline MarcoPoz

  • Member
  • Posts: 397
My mom's passing
« on: January 26, 2011, 09:45:47 AM »
I'm not writing this post for sympathy--my mom was much too pragmatic for that and face it, I think there are many here who actually wish me many negative things--that is , if you can believe your own PM in-box.

I wanted to post a note here saying that I've recently experienced the death of my mother--completely unexpected--and susequent new responsibilities in taking care of my medically fragile step-father.

Perhaps this is something many of us LTSrs experience or will experience.  My mother was a very special person and we shared a very close relationship.  In many ways she was my role model.  I always wished I had her 'heart' and total empathy for others.  She was a strong willed Sicilian who made her way onto the broadway stage as a dancer, chorus gypsy and was a part of the American Ballet Theatre.  She did this all while having 3 children, getting a divorce and dancing her way across the county and Europe.  One of my first memories was of watching her applying makeup back stage during a run of The King and I.

She was always completely honest with me--as I was with her.  She said that she was proud of me for not letting HIV destroy my soul, humor and outlook--and for turning my response to it into advocacy.

I miss her so much.  No matter how many deaths we LTSrs see, we never really get used to it, do we?  I got great advice from a friend on this subject.  He said, "Time really doesn't heal wounds, it just numbs the sting a bit.  You never learn to deal with it, you just learn how to carry it better."
« Last Edit: January 26, 2011, 10:26:08 AM by MarcoPoz »

Offline Jeff G

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 17,062
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #1 on: January 26, 2011, 10:20:03 AM »
I'm sorry for you loss , my condolences to you and your family .
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline denb45

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,053
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #2 on: January 26, 2011, 11:20:10 AM »
Marco, sorry for the loss of your mother, she sounds like she was a very Strong Person (my mother was like THIS), and I'm sure she loved you as her son, I hope this helps you out some in your hours, and Days of need

I took care of my aging Parents 25 yrs ago, until they both passed-away, my Father died in May 88, and my Mother died in September 88, so I to know how that is, I give up my nice condo, to actually moved in with them, to take care of them, and still worked 12 to 18 hrs a day, until 10 yrs later, I had to give up my job, due to failing health & AIDS...

Marco, your Mother is in a much better place, and for what it's worth, it will get better with the passing of time, she will always be a part of you until the day you die, Marco, things will get better, they always do in the passing of a loved one, it's ok to be sad and ask and sympathy, nothing in the world wrong with this, so feel free to Grieve, it's part of the process  ;)
« Last Edit: January 26, 2011, 11:32:03 AM by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,105
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #3 on: January 26, 2011, 01:58:29 PM »
What beautiful memories you have of your Mother.
My condolences on her passing.

Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,670
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #4 on: January 26, 2011, 03:02:39 PM »
Sorry for your loss   :'(   May she rest in peace

"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,517
  • 32 years positive, 60 years a pain in the butt
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #5 on: January 26, 2011, 04:45:37 PM »
Hey Marco,

I am very sorry for the loss you have experienced. Your mother sounds like she led a wonderful life and had a big soul.

May she rest in peace.

I wish you well in assuming your new responsibilities with your step father.

You are right, the pain doesn't really go away, we just learn to live with it.


"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline MarcoPoz

  • Member
  • Posts: 397
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #6 on: January 26, 2011, 08:37:35 PM »
Thank you all so very much.  Remember, tell the people you love, that you love them.  I have no doubts that my mom knew every day how much I loved her.

And don't sweat the small shit.

Offline leatherman

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,317
  • Google and HIV meds are Your Friends
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #7 on: January 26, 2011, 09:27:36 PM »
Remember, tell the people you love, that you love them. 
Amen! There's no such thing as saying "I love you" too much to the people you love. ;)
leatherman (aka mIkIE)

All the stars are flashing high above the sea
and the party is on fire around you and me
We're gonna burn this disco down before the morning comes
- Pet Shop Boys

chart from 1992-2017

Offline wolfter

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,470
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #8 on: January 27, 2011, 06:32:53 AM »
I'm truly sorry for you loss.  I'm fortunate to still have my mother.  I lost my father suddenly 8 years ago with no prior warning.  He was the picture of health and we had no clue.  You're correct, the pain never goes away, but it evolves into a deeper love.  I still think of my father several times a day and it brings comfort.
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 10,785
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #9 on: January 27, 2011, 08:08:20 AM »
I'm sorry for your loss.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Condom and Lube Info http://www.aidsmap.com/Condoms/page/1044833/
Please check out our lessons on PEP and PrEP. http://www.poz.com/factsheets/fs_2014_09_prep.pdf


Offline rondrond

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,729
  • 22 years HIV+ yet a yard could be the death of me
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #10 on: January 28, 2011, 09:55:12 AM »
Thank you all so very much.  Remember, tell the people you love, that you love them.  I have no doubts that my mom knew every day how much I loved her.

And don't sweat the small shit.

Good advice. ..sorry for your loss.
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

Tcells 700

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,542
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #11 on: January 28, 2011, 09:44:33 PM »

My heart goes out to you.  I lost my mother on June 19th, 2002.  I miss the many conversations that we used to have. She was one of my main supports, throughout the years, when I became HIV positive. I also had that very close relationship, even though we were 1,400 miles apart, so I understand.

Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 20mg of Atorvastatin, 25 mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Amlodipine Besolate 5mg-- Updated 9/24/2017

Diagnosed positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

 As of 9/18/2017,  Viral load remains <40
CD 4 @358 /  CD4 % @ 13

 65 years young.

Offline Buckmark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,643
  • Would you like to tie me up with your ties, Ty?
    • Henry's Home Page
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #12 on: February 03, 2011, 10:52:22 AM »

I'm so sorry to hear of your mother's passing.  It's awesome that you had such a strong relationship with her.  It sounds like she was quite an amazing woman.


"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline Jeffreyj

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,403
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #13 on: February 13, 2011, 10:06:24 PM »
Sorry to hear about you mom passing. I'm glad that you have many fond memories of her. She sounds like she had an exciting life.

May she rest in peace.
Positive since 1985

Offline hellrider

  • Member
  • Posts: 55
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #14 on: February 13, 2011, 10:12:32 PM »
Sorry to hear of your mothers passing, I to lost my mother and mother in law a long time ago and it still hurts.
Life's a hell of a ride and I still have some ridin to do.

12/8/2010 CD4 693   VL 192,000

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 32,258
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #15 on: February 14, 2011, 03:28:24 PM »
Marco, I'm very sorry to hear about your Mom's passing. Nothing can or will ever fill the enormous place she had in your life.

But you do obviously have many wonderful things to remember from the rich lifetime you shared together.

My best to you.

Andy Velez

Offline MarcoPoz

  • Member
  • Posts: 397
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #16 on: February 16, 2011, 09:04:29 PM »
Thank you everyone for your support.  It really means a lot.

Offline sorryass

  • Member
  • Posts: 77
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #17 on: February 17, 2011, 06:33:35 AM »

Your mom was a free spirt, artists are blessed with that 
human comfort.  Seems it was passed on to her son.

In the years to come, you will learn more of what a wonderfull
person she was.
Once a gardener,...............er!

*Ritonavir 100mg 2-Day
*Etravirine 100mg 2-Day
*Raltegravir 400mg 2-Day
*Prezista 600mg 2-Day

Offline Theyer

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,695
  • Current ambition. Walk the Dog .
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #18 on: March 08, 2011, 03:59:21 PM »
Marco, I am sorry for your loss its such a shock when it happens without warning. Your Mama sounds wonderful a trouper you must be so proud, to succeed in her world takes courage and strength, to bring up children as well........


been away for awhile but wanted to respond
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 13,406
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #19 on: March 08, 2011, 04:06:05 PM »
Sorry to hear that.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,138
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #20 on: March 09, 2011, 09:29:12 AM »
Mecch, as you are not an LTS, you should not be posting in the LTS forum. Haven't we told you this before? I wish you would be more careful when clicking on posts from your "unread" page. Your cooperation would be greatly appreciated.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline AndyArrow

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,196
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #21 on: March 11, 2011, 01:33:40 AM »

Your mother sounds like an amazing woman.  I'm so very sorry for your loss.

It is not the arrival that matters.  It is the journey along the way. -- Michel Montaigne


Terms of Membership for these forums

© 2017 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.