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Author Topic: A worried guy asks a question for Ann/Andy  (Read 1671 times)

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Offline tavo13

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A worried guy asks a question for Ann/Andy
« on: January 18, 2011, 12:59:02 PM »
Hi guys! First off, I want to thank you for the great job you do on this site. I've been reading posts for quite a long time and I can tell you're kind and caring people and you've helped many get through tough times.

Now my story, I'm a 36 year-old-argentinian guy who's been in a monogamous heterosexual relationship for almost four years. Although I would not describe myself as a bisexual man, I must admit that the idea of being with a man was a fantasy I had at some point in my life. During a short breakup with my girlfriend and feeling confused about my sexuality, I hired the services of a shemale. What follows is what happened:

- I practised protected receptive fellatio for about two minutes.

- There was some frottage; her penis rubbing my anus. The shemale tried to penetrate me (wearing the same condom) but I told her not to and she stopped.

However, there's a twist. I suffer from hemorrhoids which sometimes bleed. What's driving me crazy is the fact that, due to my lack of experience performing oral sex (which frankly, didn't like) I might have damaged the condom with my teeth and thus, its protectiveness could have been altered.

Does this scenario(my hemorrhoids included) pose a risk to me in terms of hiv infection and other std's? Should I get tested? My girlfriend and I are planning to get married and I tremble to think that I could pass something on her.

Any feedback will be kindly appreciated.

Warm regards,


Offline jkinatl2

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Re: A worried guy asks a question for Ann/Andy
« Reply #1 on: January 18, 2011, 02:12:06 PM »
There was absolutely NO risk for HIV in the activities you described. Of course, getting tested for other, easily transmitted STDs might be wise before you marry. Gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, herpes are possible (but unlikely) to be transmitted in the activities as you describe them.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: A worried guy asks a question for Ann/Andy
« Reply #2 on: January 18, 2011, 04:33:29 PM »
Tavo, although the urban myth about there being  tiny holes in a condom, it just doesn't happen that way. When a condom fails for any reason such as you are concerned about, it becomes quite clear what has happened. The condom gives way totally and ends up looking like a bunch of fringe on a hoop on the penis.

You are worrying absoultey needlessly. Nothing you have reported about this incident would have put you at risk for HIV transmission.

I agree with JK that it's a good idea in general to get tested for all STDs prior to getting married. For both partners.

But as far as HIV and this recent experience I don't see any cause for concern.
Andy Velez

Offline tavo13

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Re: A worried guy asks a question for Ann/Andy
« Reply #3 on: January 18, 2011, 07:47:42 PM »
JK and Andy, many thanks for your very prompt replies. Guess I can (and should) put this whole hiv issue in the back of my mind now.

You rock, mates!

Thanks again and say hi to Ann (who rocks as well)  :)

Take care,


Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: A worried guy asks a question for Ann/Andy
« Reply #4 on: January 19, 2011, 07:53:06 AM »

For the record, I agree with JK and Andy that you were not at risk for hiv infection in the situation you are concerned about.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts


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