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Author Topic: Waiting for results (sorry, might be long)  (Read 3065 times)

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Offline ringring

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Waiting for results (sorry, might be long)
« on: January 09, 2011, 01:10:39 PM »
Hi everyone  :)

I dated this guy for about 3 months. I've known him for a while (about a year) and we were friends, so by the time we hooked up I thought I could trust him.

I was wrong.

He told me he had many partners in the past but was in a monogamous relationship for the last 4 years and since splitting with her didn't have anyone else, not even one night stands. He also said he got tested reasonably often and he was fine.

We used a condom at the beginning anyway, but he found it very difficult to keep an erection, so after about a month we stopped using them as I was on the pill anyway. After a few weeks I started to develop itchiness and pain around my vagina. I went to my doctor and she said it just loooked like trush but I asked to be tested for STI's just in case.
My result came back negative and the doc said it was probably just a bad thrush. I managed to get rid of it eventually but I started to feel this bruised like feeling near my groin and my vagina.

Meanwhile I started to see a different side of this guy; I knew he sometimes drank too much, but I always saw him doing it in a social situations. Hanging out with him more often I realised he drinks to excess by himself, gets depressed and intimiditading towards me at times (happened twice, after that I dumped him). Also he would tell me things about himself which would contrast with what he said when he was sober.

To cut the story short, I found out his monogamous relationship wasn't quite monogamous, but an open relationship and last time he got tested was ages ago. He never used any protection either.

I went testing last week. The doctor said she didn't think I was high risk for HIV despite my situation, but to be honest I think I really am. We had sex at least 40 times.

On top of that, I found out the bruised feeling around my groin is swollen painful glands which I also have underneath my jaw. I've not had a fever but have a scratchy throat since Christmas and also sore muscles. I suffer from fybromyalgia though, so I often get sore muscles flare ups.

I pretty much think I caught HIV and the wait doesn't help.

I'm so angry at myself for being so irresponsible. I have a little son and everytime I look at him I feel so guilty. I'm a terrible person for doing to him and to myself.

Sorry about the rant and the long post.

Offline Ann

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Re: Waiting for results (sorry, might be long)
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2011, 02:16:18 PM »

Any time you have unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse with someone who you have not actually tested together with, you are putting yourself at risk for hiv and other, more easily transmitted STIs.

While you have put yourself at risk and do need to test, we cannot possibly predict what your outcome will be. Not everyone who has been exposed will be infected.

You need to test at least three months after the last incident of unprotected intercourse for a conclusive result. The vast majority of people who have been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days. A negative at six week or more is highly unlikely to change, but must be confirmed at the three month point.

As for your symptoms, they are meaningless when it comes to diagnosing hiv infection. ONLY testing at the appropriate time will accurately tell you your hiv status.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Good luck with the testing.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline ringring

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Re: Waiting for results (sorry, might be long)
« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2011, 02:22:16 PM »
Thanks for your reply Ann.

I totally agree with what you're saying, I wish I had been more thoughtful a few months ago.

Monday I took a HIV DUO test privately, which should be testing from 28 days (I just couldn't wait another week for the ELISA). It came back negative. However, my last sexual encounter was on the December 24th, which means that time I could have got it and the test wouldn't have show it, I think. Is that the case?

I know you can't rely on symptoms but my glands are totally getting worse, pretty much everywhere now especially behind my ears. I'm having some itchiness around my body but I just think I'm having a bad reaction to penicillin the doctor gave me this morning.

All in all, I'm panicking.

Thinking I might have HIV is bad, but hey I could have found out I have terminal cancer; s**t happens. What's driving me mental is lingering in this bloody limbo.

When should I get tested again?


Offline RapidRod

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Re: Waiting for results (sorry, might be long)
« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2011, 02:31:49 PM »
To obtain a conclusive negative result you need a 3 month post exposure test.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Waiting for results (sorry, might be long)
« Reply #4 on: January 12, 2011, 03:50:07 PM »
First of all, a negative result at 4 weeks is a good sign. As Ann has already told you, the average time to seroconversion is 22 days. If you decide to test a 6 weeks, which you might want to do considering how anxious you are, a negative result at that point would be very encouraging. All but the smallest number who are going to seroconvert will do so within 4-6 weeks after a risk.

As for your symptoms, there is absolutely nothing HIV-specific about them. And in any case neither the presence nor the absence of symptoms will ever tell you anything accurately about your HIV status. Only an HIV test at the proper time can give you that answer.

Check your symptoms out with your doctor. We can't diagnose anything in this setting.

Andy Velez

Offline ringring

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Re: Waiting for results (sorry, might be long)
« Reply #5 on: January 13, 2011, 04:12:54 AM »
Cool, thank you guys for the help.

I'll defintely follow your advice.

I must say, reading and lurking the forum cheered me up a bit, especially the "Introduce yourself" thread on the Long Term Survivors forum; now I know whatever the results I'll cope.

I'll keep you posted.


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Waiting for results (sorry, might be long)
« Reply #6 on: January 13, 2011, 09:30:54 AM »
That's good. Glad you have found some helpful information here.

Best of luck with your test result and keep us posted.

Andy Velez


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