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Author Topic: On a daily basis....  (Read 1318 times)

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Offline andres101984

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  • Posts: 34
On a daily basis....
« on: November 28, 2010, 08:10:29 PM »
is it weird that I don't feel bad about having HIV?
is it weird that I felt I had it even before being diagnosed?

It is imminent to get scared sometimes, but who isn't? which human being doesn't feel scared? I'm not saying I am totally open about my HIV, actually only one friend of mine knows (also positive), but I don't feel bad about it. I feel mostly grateful everyday for all the blessings I have in my life, including access to meds, being healthy and value my life, my job, my family and my friends. Most of my fears are more about the sentimental part than the health part, though I feel very strongly about disclosing before having sex, it still scares me not to find someone that accepts my condition. For now I'm single and trying to focus on my personal goals and how to achieve it.

I've been taking meds for almost 1 months now, it was a bit hard at first (mainly the efavirenz) but doing very well now. When I read, see on TV or get to know some cases about people ill or even dying from all kinds of stuff, I realize that I'm blessed and that the only thing you need to die is to be alive, that's it!

Inspite of our health, we are humans and if we want it we can be happy! I feel very lucky!!

See ya everyone!

Diag: 08/12/2010
11/03/2010 1st Lab: CD4:200 - VL: 250,000
04/05/2011 2nd Lab: CD4:358 - VL: 81
15/06/2011 3rd Lab: CD4: None taken - VL: UD (Yayyy!!!)

Offline surf18

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Re: On a daily basis....
« Reply #1 on: November 28, 2010, 08:18:38 PM »
Nice post

Offline tednlou2

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  • Posts: 5,731
Re: On a daily basis....
« Reply #2 on: November 28, 2010, 11:19:08 PM »
It isn't weird at all.  It sounds like you're dealing with life with HIV very well.  I also felt I was poz before diagnosis.  I knew there had been a high risk exposure and I had harsh symptoms after.  My gut told me I was poz, but I wanted to believe it was just mono out of fear. 

It is very good you're dealing with this so well.   I think many of us get hung up on now having a health condition--at any age, but especially when you're young and normally shouldn't have deal with health issues until later in life.  And hung up on feeling responsible, because unlike most cancers, it was preventable in most cases.  Many of us get hung up on blaming ourselves like many who smoked and got lung cancer. 

Offline andres101984

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  • Posts: 34
Re: On a daily basis....
« Reply #3 on: December 01, 2010, 03:53:03 PM »
Thx guys!
I think it comes down to whether you want to live or die....and like I said, the only thing needed to die is to be alive!
Diag: 08/12/2010
11/03/2010 1st Lab: CD4:200 - VL: 250,000
04/05/2011 2nd Lab: CD4:358 - VL: 81
15/06/2011 3rd Lab: CD4: None taken - VL: UD (Yayyy!!!)


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