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Author Topic: Tired of everything  (Read 2936 times)

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Offline lforsyth

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Tired of everything
« on: November 25, 2010, 03:22:46 PM »
Monday, my Doctor put me back on antibiotics and more steroids. Tuesday I found out that a 24 year old gay guy at work is sought out by others to be around, not me.  I'm just tolerated as an old fag with HIV. What hurts is that he told me that being a long term survivor is common.  That my life as a survivor hasn't been worth that much.

Not taking any meds and don't want to go on.

The others are closet cases and laugh at me. I guess that my head is up my ass but it's difficult to be around so many people who do not want to talk with me. I feel more alone than I am but there is noone in my life, no friends to socialize with and now noone at work to talk with.

Even Aunt Rita's association wants nothing to do with me.

« Last Edit: November 25, 2010, 04:30:09 PM by lforsyth »
Tested POZ in 1986, knew there was something wrong in 1985. 04/2010 CD4: 975 Viral Load undetectable. Prezista, Norvir, Truvada, Acyclovir, Plavix, Lisinopril, Metoprolol and a bedtime snack of Lipitor (YUM)

Offline Ann

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Re: Tired of everything
« Reply #1 on: November 25, 2010, 06:43:20 PM »
I'm sorry to hear you're still feeling so down and isolated. I don't know what to tell you but please know I'm thinking of you.


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HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline denb45

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Re: Tired of everything
« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2010, 07:09:03 PM »
Well I do hope that you continue to take your meds, hey friends are so over-rated anyway, I used to have a lot of them, but, as I got older, they are far and few, I'm now 54, your life isn't over if you don't want it to be, anyway, wishing you a very happy hoilday season, and please try to find some inner peace, you sound like
a nice man, I hope things improve for you, so don't give up, here's a big hugg to ya, I know it's not much, but, it's the best I can do on a PC, hang-in-there guy, things do get better  ;)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline BT65

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Re: Tired of everything
« Reply #3 on: November 26, 2010, 07:03:28 PM »
You seem to have quite a lot of problem feeling down all the time.  I would strongly advise you to see a counselor, and maybe try anti-depressants.  You may not want to, but you may not feel more up until you do.  What other people think of us shouldn't impact life that much.  I understand it's lonely sometimes, but then you need to feel comfortable in your own skin, which you don't seem to be doing a good job of.  Not a put down, just an observation.  You really need more help than what any of us on this forum can offer, and I sincerely hope you seek it out.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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Offline Theyer

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Re: Tired of everything
« Reply #4 on: November 26, 2010, 08:11:22 PM »
ifo---I am so sorry that you are feeling so rejected and lonely, this post seems to be like many you have recently posted and i have replied to them as clearly you are hurting at the moment.

Ifo it is differcult to keep responding to these outcries could you try and engage in what your friends write this time [forgive me if I have overlooked any past evidence off this}

I really think it is time for you to look into some counselling help and if you are overdoing anything harmfull, booze or whatever please take this from one who has been there, it will only hold you in the sadness you are in.

As for not taking your meds what would you say to someone who said that ?

Ifo  it sounds like work will not give you what you want at the moment in terms off feedback from co -workers maybe if you stopped looking for it you might see it in another form..

So Ifo I hope that you can use us to help yourself
take care
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline yankygrl

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Re: Tired of everything
« Reply #5 on: December 15, 2010, 10:32:27 PM »
Tis better to be alone than poorly accompanied.  Hugs to you my friend,



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