Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
October 21, 2017, 03:28:36 AM

Login with username, password and session length

  • Total Members: 31667
  • Latest: Kaz86
  • Total Posts: 721010
  • Total Topics: 58485
  • Online Today: 297
  • Online Ever: 1421
  • (August 13, 2016, 05:18:44 AM)
Users Online
Users: 4
Guests: 264
Total: 268


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: Sperm Washing - A story of hope!  (Read 2442 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Delby

  • Member
  • Posts: 149
Sperm Washing - A story of hope!
« on: September 23, 2010, 10:12:42 AM »
My wife has been asking me to write this post for quite some time, but i wanted to wait until we were further along with the pregnancy until we told our story.

I found out I was positive in 2006 and got married 11 months later to the most beautiful, caring, loving, giving and extraordinary human being I have ever met. When I found out i was poz, I thought my life was over, i'd never get married, never have children and i'd die a lonely young man. That was until I met my wife.

I shall never forget the day I told her. It was one of the biggest and scariest moments of my life, but yet she was nothing but loving and gentle with me. She hugged me and caressed me and found room in her infinite heart to love me. We got married 8 months later. She took me on with the knowledge that she could not tell her parents or family and so she has had to keep it all a secret. She carries such a huge burden on her shoulders and pretends to her family that everything is fine. Even when I was hospitalised several times with Pneumonia, she pretended to her family it was my Ulcerative Colitis.

She did all this at the tender age of 21. I thought I had a huge secret to carry, but hers is much worse than mine, as at least my family knows the truth. We have been through so much in our first few years of marriage, all of which have been medical issues I have faced. I can glad to say most of the issues I've faced have been from my UC and not HIV. But she has stuck by me like a rock and I wouldn’t be here today without her. I know I wouldn’t. She is one amazing human being.

Fast forward a year and we decided we wanted children. And so we embarked on our first round of Sperm Washing at the Chelsea & Westminster Hospital in London. Essentially sperm washing follows the same procedure as IVF but the sperm is prewashed of any infectious diseases. Our first round went great and we found out she was pregnant 2 weeks later. Sadly the pregnancy didn’t stick and the she miscarried. This happened a further 3 times all in succession. She went through 4 miscarriages and we were both emotionally and physically exhausted.

The process of IVF is emotionally draining, and you have to wait a good 3 months between each failed attempt, so it's not like you can start straight away after the miscarriage. She had to endure painful injections everyday via intramuscular injections. The size of the needle was equal to the size of my small finger and extremely thick. I am not scared of needles, but I have never seen such big needles in my life. They went a good 3 inches into her buttocks or leg each night. I was the one that had to administer them every evening, and I felt so guilty and sad that she was doing all this because of me. If not for me, she could of conceived the natural way. She was prepared to give up so much, to sacrifice everything in order for us to have a baby.

All our energy and money was invested into trying to have a baby, but we couldn’t understand why each time she miscarried. After running numerous tests on her, the Dr's found out, and quite ironically, that she had an overactive immune system. So there we were, a couple made up of an underactive immune system and overactive immune system..we were perfectly balanced!

So they prescribed her a course of steroids and we embarked on our 7th round of IVF. We hadn't said it to each other but we were thinking this was going to be the last and final round. We waited anxiously for 2 weeks and then the test. It came back positive again. But this time we made it further...a little bit further...each month, until we'd reached 3 months!! Each day we became a bit more optimistic...each day we got further and further...and now were 4 weeks away from the birth of our miracle child.

I wanted to tell this story to anyone who is interested, but also to any couples out there that are thinking of undertaking sperm washing. It does and can work. I would be happy to answer any questions anyone has about it.

When I was diagnosed in 2006 I thought my life was over. I was suicidal. I spent 2 years in the darkest hole of my life. I went to places in my mind that I didn’t think were possible. It was nothing short of hell. But I have emerged. I have got married, having a child, have started a business, go to the gym 3-4 times a week and I try to make the most of each day. I'm not under an illusion and suggesting this disease is easy. Far from it, as I have had a lot of medical issues to contend with, but what I am suggesting is don't hang up your gloves. Go out there and fight for what is rightfully yours..a 'normal' life. For those just diagnosed, i never thought I would be the one posting this, but it does get better. There is life ahead and one day you will wake up and realise that its not the end, but a new beginning.

Delby :)

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,138
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Sperm Washing - A story of hope!
« Reply #1 on: September 23, 2010, 12:53:45 PM »
Congratulations to you both, Delby! Thank you for sharing your inspirational story.

I know it's a bit soon to be thinking about having more children, but if you do you might want to look into conceiving the natural way. It is possible now days. As long as you're undetectable and have been for quite a while, you're unlikely to pass your virus on to your wife.

There are several couples here who have conceived this way and the negative partner remained negative. There are several threads discussing this - just use the site's search engine and type in either pregnant or pregnancy. You can also search for Swiss Study to find the threads.

Good luck in the next six months and be sure to keep us updated on how things are going.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Assurbanipal

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,175
  • Taking a forums break, still see PM's
Re: Sperm Washing - A story of hope!
« Reply #2 on: September 23, 2010, 01:00:51 PM »
Congratulations to you and your wife, Delby!
5/06 VL 1M+, CD4 22, 5% , pneumonia, thrush -- O2 support 2 months, 6/06 +Kaletra/Truvada
9/06 VL 3959 CD4 297 13.5% 12/06 VL <400 CD4 350 15.2% +Pravachol
2007 VL<400, 70, 50 CD4 408-729 16.0% -19.7%
2008 VL UD CD4 468 - 538 16.7% - 24.6% Osteoporosis 11/08 doubled Pravachol, +Calcium/D
02/09 VL 100 CD4 616 23.7% 03/09 VL 130 5/09 VL 100 CD4 540 28.4% +Actonel (osteoporosis) 7/09 VL 130
8/09  new regimen Isentress/Epzicom 9/09 VL UD CD4 621 32.7% 11/09 VL UD CD4 607 26.4% swap Isentress for Prezista/Norvir 12/09 (liver and muscle issues) VL 50
2010 VL UD CD4 573-680 26.1% - 30.9% 12/10 VL 20
2011 VL UD-20 CD4 568-673 24.7%-30.6%
2012 VL UD swap Prezista/Norvir for Reyataz drop statin CD4 768-828 26.7%-30.7%
2014 VL UD - 48
2015 VL 130 Moved to Triumeq

Offline Jeff G

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 17,062
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Sperm Washing - A story of hope!
« Reply #3 on: September 23, 2010, 01:44:22 PM »
Congratulations to you and your wife . I thank you for sharing your story , its a beautiful one to tell . 
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Florida69

  • Member
  • Posts: 428
Re: Sperm Washing - A story of hope!
« Reply #4 on: September 23, 2010, 03:36:10 PM »
Assubanipal, I am so very happy for you.  Thank you for sharing your story, I too was diagnosed in 2006 and I too had a very hard year that year.  D
Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
Calvin Coolidge

Offline Ravhyn

  • Member
  • Posts: 260
  • Nerd Alert
Re: Sperm Washing - A story of hope!
« Reply #5 on: September 23, 2010, 06:56:29 PM »
congratulations! =) u made me tear up a little there =) I dont know you guys, but I am so very happy for the both of you and the youngin on the way!
April 2006 - Sero-Conversion
December 2009 - Diagnosed
Jan 2010- VL 3,800 CD4 152
Summer 2010 VL UD, CD4 over 200
September 2010 VL UD, CD4 324
March 2011 VL UD, CD4 477
May 2011 VL UD, 338

Offline OneTampa

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,763
  • "Butterflies are free."
Re: Sperm Washing - A story of hope!
« Reply #6 on: September 23, 2010, 08:15:51 PM »

It is so wonderful to read your story.

Congratulations to you and your wife!
"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaíto frito."


Terms of Membership for these forums

© 2017 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.