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Author Topic: Unprotected sex with hetrosexual woman in the UK, so so scared!  (Read 3331 times)

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Offline funkyhed24

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Hi all,

I hope someone can give me a little reassurance regarding my situation as I am petrified and so scared right now, I can't eat, sleep...I'm a bit of a mess.

2 weeks ago me and my partner split up, we have 2 children and are 26 years old. I found it hard moving back to my Dad's and one night went out and got very drunk which I do not usually do. Me and a friend ended up back at 2 girls house and I had unprotected sex with one of the girls (white hetrosexual female, non drug user). I did not cum and it did not last very long, I had no cuts on my pensi or anything like that.

I have had an std test which came back clear and me and my partner have now made up. The doctor at the clinic said I was very very low risk of infection and the only reason she would suggest I was tested was for my own peace of mind.

I understand that the only way to find out is through a test which I need to wait 3 months for, however after the std test came back clear I didn't think I had anything to worry about and had unprotected sex with my partner on one occassion. Now all I can think about is that I have been infected with HIV and passed it onto my partner. This is the only time I have had unprotected sex outside of my relationship and I feel so so guilty. I have no symptoms, however am aware these do not always occur and if they do it is usually 2-6 weeks later.

I am expecting to get some replies saying I should not have slept with my partner which I know, however at first did not even think about HIV. Alsdo that the only way to finsd out is to get tested, which I will do .

Really what I would like if possible is someone to estimate my risk factor, how unlikley is it that I would become infected from one sexual encounter with a white hetrosexual female from the north of england?

Many thanks in advance and appologies for my lack of understanding of HIV and if I have come across ignorant.

Many many thanks.


Offline Ann

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Re: Unprotected sex with hetrosexual woman in the UK, so so scared!
« Reply #1 on: July 30, 2010, 07:00:43 AM »

You did have a risk, although it is on the lower end of the scale. Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that is more difficult to transmit from a woman to a man. The fact that you didn't cum makes no difference, but the fact that it was short in duration is another thing in your favour.

The earliest you should test is at six weeks, as the vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by that point. A six week negative is highly unlikely to change but must be confirmed at the three month point.

And no, you should not be having unprotected intercourse with your partner. You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts


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