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Author Topic: Memories of Our Wedding Day  (Read 5332 times)

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Offline Ric Wilke

  • Member
  • Posts: 573
  • I joined AIDSmed.com 10/2002.
Memories of Our Wedding Day
« on: August 23, 2006, 08:39:39 PM »
Dearest Friends and Family,

We have settled back into our daily routine and are truly enjoying our status as newly weds.  It took us a few days to come down from the euphoric cloud but we are both, once again, well grounded and we would like to share our personal thoughts of one of the most fantastic days we have spend together over the past 26+ years.

We awoke early on Friday, August 18, knowing that the day ahead was to be a very busy one for us.  It was to be a day of opposite emotions; deep sorrow and respect and total elation.  This day was not only our Wedding Day but also the day that we visited Chapel of Hope.  We dressed not knowing how we would react to either ceremony but joined our Montreal group in front of the hotel.  One by one, two by two, small group by small group we gathered all wearing the t-shirts designed for the gathering.  We strolled up Rue Ste Catherine in small but very noticeable groups as we made our way to the church.

The beautiful memorial service, “The Circle of Light”, is all but impossible to describe.  The bond of the group was cemented as the flame was passed from one to the next.  The final pillar that was lit will burn in each of our hearts forever and the plaque that marked our group’s visit will remain for posterity.  (Thank you Jan, Alan and Rocky.)

After posing for a series of group pictures on the steps of the church, we left the group headed back down Rue Ste Catherine for brunch at Chez Cora before heading to the florist to pick up the flowers for our wedding.  (Thanks Gary for your wonderful company.)

We headed back to the hotel and a trip to the pool to relax and unwind a bit before we returned to our room to ready ourselves for the “event”.  Thom was heading for the shower when Ric discovered that three of the boutonnières were missing pins.  So, back to the florist for him, a mere hour before we were to meet the Officiant.

As 4:00 approached and the guests began to gather, we both knew that things had come together just as we had planned.  Butterflies?  Oh God, yes!  But once the wedding party gathered around us we knew that we were in the best of hands.  Each of them assumed their respective roles.  At 4:00, Ravel’s “Bolero” began to play and we were off down the isle.  By 4:20, we had kissed and signed the Declaration of Marriage.

The thing that we remember most about the ceremony was the huge outpouring of love and support we felt from all of you who were able to share this special event with us.  The room was electric with positive energy.  You all came as friends but by your   attendance you have become members of our family.  We can never thank you enough!

We need to extend our special love and gratitude to the following six people:
Joe and Stephen, our leather clad and kilted ring bearers.  You showed that this was not “your mother’s wedding.  Trish and John, your readings were absolutely beautiful.  Words, truly spoken from the depth of your hearts.   And lastly Dame Jan and Rocky.  You signed the declaration, but you etched our hearts.

We would be remiss if we did not share one final thought.  It seems that we were not the only loving couple to take advantage of Canadian laws with regard to marriage.

Please join us and congratulate David_NC and David who were married earlier the same day as we were.  Having met the two wonderful men, it is our distinct honor to share our Wedding Day with them.  We wish them all the happiness in the world and a long and healthy life together.

We love you all, Ric and Thom
« Last Edit: August 23, 2006, 08:43:53 PM by Ric Wilke »

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,517
  • 32 years positive, 60 years a pain in the butt
Re: Memories of Our Wedding Day
« Reply #1 on: August 23, 2006, 09:55:10 PM »
My Dear Ric,

I was honored to be there when you and Thom were legally united.

You are a special couple and I found myself misty eyed. (I was sitting next to Moffie, who started sniffling the moment the ring bearers appeared, so I wasn't alone.)

That was a very special day. Thank you both for sharing it with me.


"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,670
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: Memories of Our Wedding Day
« Reply #2 on: August 23, 2006, 11:14:13 PM »
Thanks for including all of us by sharing this special event in your lives, Ric and Thom.  I thought the wedding was just perfect.....



PS - I'm glad to know I am not the only one who cries so easily.   I went through more handkerchiefs on this trip!   I'm glad I packed a lot of them.
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Memories of Our Wedding Day
« Reply #3 on: August 23, 2006, 11:15:48 PM »
I am quietly envious. What you have? I want something like that. And you reminded me, that it's possible in this weary world. And that I dare not settle again for less.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline The Canuck

  • Member
  • Posts: 628
Re: Memories of Our Wedding Day
« Reply #4 on: August 23, 2006, 11:47:00 PM »
Ric & Thom,

It was a real honor to be part of your wedding. You are both incredible individuals and glad I had the chance to meet you.

I must say that David_NC and David are gentlemen in all sense of the word. Indeed while we were on the roof of the Bourbon during the '' Meet & Greet '' David mentioned to me they got married that day. I congratulated them and asked why they didn't say anything. They can correct me if I'm wrong, but if I remember correctly ( had a few beers ya' know ) David said it was somewhat decided at the last minute, and they didn't want to spoil Ric & Thom's wedding since it was a part of our events at AMG 06. I must say it was a really nice gesture, and rather classy too. It says a lot about you guys and really enjoyed talking to you.

I wish to Ric & Thom and David_NC & David a very long life together.

Regards and all my love guys,

Claude aka The Canuck

Dan J.

  • Guest
Re: Memories of Our Wedding Day
« Reply #5 on: August 24, 2006, 12:18:37 AM »
Ric & Thom,

Thank you for sharing your special day with us. Friday Aug 18,2006 is a day I will hold in my heart forever.

Dan :-*

Congradulations David_NC & David

Offline kcmetroman

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: Memories of Our Wedding Day
« Reply #6 on: August 24, 2006, 12:34:17 AM »
Hi guys,

Just wanted to say thanks to the both of you.  You are very classy people and I am proud to say that I was a part of that special occasion.

Love you guys a ton!


Offline Robert

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Re: Memories of Our Wedding Day
« Reply #7 on: August 24, 2006, 01:27:14 AM »
Ric and  Thom.

Thank you so much for sharing your day with us and making it so specail for all of us. 

And that explains the twinkle in the eyes of David_NC and David at the reception.  Class act all the way around.


Offline david25luvit

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,409
  • Member since March 2005
Re: Memories of Our Wedding Day
« Reply #8 on: August 24, 2006, 08:27:46 AM »
Ric & Thom...

               It was an honor to attend both the chapel ceremonies and your wedding later that same day.  I wish you guys the very best and pray you have many years together as legal spouses.  Indeed I congradulate the David's on their nuptials as well and hope the same good fortune smiles upon them.  Personally...  I will never forget that day in Montreal and what it meant to all of us who were fortunate enough to be in attendance. :-*
In Memory of
Raymond David McRae III
Nov. 25, 1972- Oct. 15, 2004
I miss him terribly..........

Offline Andy Velez

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  • Member
  • Posts: 31,894
Re: Memories of Our Wedding Day
« Reply #9 on: August 24, 2006, 09:02:39 AM »
It was great to be there for at least the party & dinner part of your special day.

And you both wear swell jewelry which is always a good thing. I'm just sayin'.......
Andy Velez

Offline Moffie65

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,755
  • Living POZ since 1983
Re: Memories of Our Wedding Day
« Reply #10 on: August 24, 2006, 09:13:51 AM »
Ric, and Thom,

"I promise to Love and Order"

Do tell.  Thank the Lord for Freud.

You guys are the "Thing" and I want to echo all the great replies you have already received here, and add my own.  Yes, I didn't take any tissues to the wedding, but none the less, it didn't matter as I was unable to hold back the emotions when the ceremony got under way.  Thank you Ric for screwing up the vows and letting us all have a good laugh at that very moment.  We all, (including you both) needed it just when it came out.  BRAVO!!!

In Love, and Joy.
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,246
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: Memories of Our Wedding Day
« Reply #11 on: August 24, 2006, 09:36:36 AM »
Thanks for the congrats, etc.  We didn't really decide to get married at the last minute, but it was Ric's post way back in March or April that reminded me that we could get married in Canada.  Their ceremony was such an integral part of  AMG '06 that we didn't want to look like we jumping on the 'wedding bandwagon' or anything.  As low-key as our ceremony was (there was just the wedding planner, her business partner, the officiant, David, and me), it was no less emotional than if there had been a crowd present.  It's one thing to think about and read the vows and practice saying them, but when one looks into the other person's eyes and repeats them... that's a whole different thing! 

I know both of us felt privileged to attend Ric and Thom's wedding and the entire AMG in general.  Perhaps if we had known how easy the group was to get to know and that we'd feel so comfortable with everybody (almost like I've known some of you guys for a long time), we'd have had a more public ceremony.  Still, I'm happy with how everything turned out ... especially the part about Ric ordering Thom (I wonder if Thom will obey?)!   ;)

D_NC & D
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline Trish

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  • Posts: 332
Re: Memories of Our Wedding Day
« Reply #12 on: August 24, 2006, 10:31:04 AM »
Hi Big Bro's!

Thank you so very much for including me in your special day.  I wouldn't have missed it for the world.  I will cherish your wedding day for the rest of my life and not because it was my very first same-sex marriage, but because it was the two of you and the love you share for one another (which I first witnessed in Toronto,) as well as the way you exude that love.  Your love definitely shines through and brings joy to my heart whenver I see you together. 

As I was standing at the podium and reciting the reading from I Corinthians 13 my body was quivering and my adrenalin flowing.  I could feel myself getting choked up and was afraid I was going to burst out in tears.  A moment in time that I will never, ever forget.  And as a side note, I tried my best to not sound too "Brooklynite-ish." :o ;);D

Anyways, I wish nothing but true happiness for both of you and a life of love together, forever.

Thank you for the memories.

All my love to both of you,

Trish :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is buit."  Eleanor Roosevelt

Offline Jody

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  • Posts: 1,935
Re: Memories of Our Wedding Day
« Reply #13 on: August 24, 2006, 09:00:17 PM »
Dear Thom and Ric...I so enjoyed and was very moved by your wedding, it was very touching and emotional and you are two really great men.  Thanks for letting us share.

Jody  :)
"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world".
 "Try to discover that you are the song that the morning brings."

Grateful Dead


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