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Author Topic: A bit worried and scared  (Read 2124 times)

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Offline Jay_rog

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A bit worried and scared
« on: January 31, 2010, 09:40:06 AM »
Hi guys,

I had a few potential risks I am not sure of :( and am now really worried.  Especially because I have a life partner and don't want to hurt them.

While away on business I went to gay strip club and paid for private dance, the dancer was very aroused - even had some precum and I jerked him off a bit with a cut on my thumb, he rubbed my penis on his butt while grinding dancing on me and he also gave me a bloqjob for quite a few minutes.  I am uncut and my foreskin was chaffed from too much masturbation.  Also while at the hotel sauna I for a few seconds allowed a man to touch my penis and chaffed foreskin for a while after touching his own - he had some precum which may have been runned onto my head and cracked foreskin. :(

I have told my partner I was at the strip club but this was just a day ago and we are not sure now if it is safe for us to goahead with our relationship as I might be hiv positive.

We were tested together 1 year ago and we both negetive and have been monogomous since - it was a one time strip club thing while being boozed with coworkers.

I think my risks were ...
...recieving oral from a gay escort, with cracks on my foreskin,
rubbing penis together with a escort with precum
rubbing my penis on the butt area of a escort
receiving and giving a hanjob with a paper cut on my thumb and cracked/chaffed foreskin

I am petrified - guilty yes - but we are dealing with that as a couple.

Thankn you for any help

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: A bit worried and scared
« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2010, 10:03:31 AM »

Relax, absolutely nothing you did or had done to you was a risk for hiv infection.

Getting a blowjob is not a risk regardless of the state of your penis. Not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect.

The next three concerns on your lists are not risks because hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that is primarily transmitted INSIDE the human body as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. Once hiv finds itself outside the body, small changes in temperature, and pH and moisture levels all damage the virus and render it unable to infect.

As long as you use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse outside your relationship, you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Jay_rog

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Re: A bit worried and scared
« Reply #2 on: January 31, 2010, 10:12:16 AM »
Hi Ann,

Thank you for such a clear answer - I do feel much better - although admittedly I am still incredibly worried I am trying to put this to rest.

I just can't get out of my head the blowjob and how sore my penis is (sorry to be so crude) - I read all over receiving could be a risk for infection and for some reason I cant get out of my head the thought of precum entering my urethra and teh chaffing :(

I forgot to say ... my partner has forgiven me but says that he isnt sure if these things were risky and that they warrant testing ... he says that all of the above carried some risk for hiv and i should test in 6-8 weeks? I am guessing u disagree?

I feel just awful
« Last Edit: January 31, 2010, 10:15:46 AM by Jay_rog »

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: A bit worried and scared
« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2010, 11:16:57 AM »
Jason, fortunately feelings and fears aren't facts. And the details about which you continue to be worried notwithstanding, there is no need for testing.

No matter what anyone else suggests, if you decide to get tested it is strictly for your peace of mind and not because there was a genuine risk. Getting a negative result is a slam dunk.

I suggest you take a breath, let it go and get on with your life.

Andy Velez

Offline Jay_rog

  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Re: A bit worried and scared
« Reply #4 on: January 31, 2010, 11:34:38 AM »
Thank you Andy and Ann :)

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: A bit worried and scared
« Reply #5 on: January 31, 2010, 12:02:19 PM »
You're welcome. Get on with your life, Jay.
Andy Velez


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