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Author Topic: Making babies ... take 2  (Read 2554 times)

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Offline pozcanuk

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Making babies ... take 2
« on: August 28, 2009, 05:35:18 PM »
I was going to respond to my origonal posting but figured since it was so long ago (a year or so) I thought best to make a new posting.  This is the origonal forum:


I am writing now as life has thrown me a curve ball ... in the good sense.  I had a dear friend and her partner approach me inquiring about co-parenting with myself and my partner.  They want to use my boys and I felt soooo honoured and was definitely willing to jump aboard.  One challenge, they did not know of my status.  I told them right away and since they have been tearing up the internet looking at all the studies and have found a clinic in our home city which is willing to help us.  I am thrilled beyond belief!  The decision is not final yet as they want to meet with the Dr's at the clinic to discuss.  I am fully supporting them in finding out what is best for all.  They have expressed their commitment to trying to make this work .. so I am deeply hopeful it will.

I am looking to hear about other stories from people in this situation or similar.  I will contact a few from the old posting but look forward to hearing more.  I/we have read soooooo much now but I find it is the personal side of the equation that is also of key interest.  Of all the stats we have read, there has been NO transmission to either mother or baby.  They want to use sperm washing alongside of the cupping method I believe it is called.

I truly thank you in advance for any insight and look forward to informative and personal discussions.  Feel free to message me privately if you would prefer to be out of the spotlight. 

Fingers crossed ...
Future dad to be!

Offline Snowangel

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Re: Making babies ... take 2
« Reply #1 on: August 28, 2009, 09:07:30 PM »
Congratulations! Pozcanuk.
That is very exciting news! I hope everything works well for you and the girls :)
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline pozcanuk

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Re: Making babies ... take 2
« Reply #2 on: August 29, 2009, 12:36:58 AM »
Thanks so much Snowangel ... it is an exciting and VERY emotional time!

I just read your bio and noticed you have 4 children!  Congrats to you!!!!  Given the two ages ... am I to assume they are two sets of twins?  How did you conceive?  I have read and communicated with a few other people here one in which they conceived naturally. 

I was assuming that the ladies would want in vitro but they are thinking to use the cupping method after sperm washing.  I would love to hear about your experience and method used!  If it is ok, I will be letting mom's to be read as well.

Thanks again!

Offline Snowangel

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Re: Making babies ... take 2
« Reply #3 on: August 29, 2009, 02:15:57 AM »
Thank you!
Close, I have a singleton and a set of trip  lets( I never spell it on here, in case a search is done).  Both times was naturally, both times I was on meds and the children where given meds for the 1st 6 weeks.  Although, my oldest sons father, who is positive, had a child after my son with his girlfriend,who was and still is negative and I don't believe she or the baby ever had any meds.  I can double check that for you, if you like.

I was supposed to have c-sections for both deliveries but my oldest son, came early and fast, and he came naturally.  The 3some were born at 29.5 weeks and by c-section.

I have never heard of the cupping method but I hope it works for you.  It must be very exciting and emotional but believe me, it will all be worth it :)

Take care,
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline pozcanuk

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Re: Making babies ... take 2
« Reply #4 on: August 29, 2009, 12:48:42 PM »
That is great to know!  I am concerned for mom to be ... will actually be mom's to be as each one wants to carry a child .. both from me.  I am hoping that I will be able to be involved in the first clinic visit as with myself, knowledge is power! 

I am thrilled at the prospect and between you me, the gatepost and a few hundred folks reading this potentially, I already have a travelling highchair. :)

I cant imagine having 3 at a time! Talk about instant family!!  What a wonderful gift! 

The method is basically done in a clinic and essentially is a turkey baster with washed sperm.  Not sure of the specifics, but I am VERY excited to find out.  They have told me that here is has been very successful and is also a fraction of the cost of IVF.  One possitive thing, our provincial govt might start footing the bill for up to 3 sessions of IVF!!

Unfortunately I have let my mind run away and plan things such as how I will tell the family we are pregnant.  I keep telling myself to slow down as I know that getting pregnant is not the easiest thing and the decision to use my boys is not set in stone yet.  So yes .. a bit emotional but this feeling has lit me up like a star!!

Thanks Snow!

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Making babies ... take 2
« Reply #5 on: August 30, 2009, 07:00:48 AM »
Hi Canuk,

Congrats on catching such an awesome curve-ball! Am I right in thinking the two women are a couple? That's so cool!

One detail you might consider taking care of is getting some sort of legally binding document similar to a prenuptial agreement. Something that would iron out the child(ren)'s living arrangements etc. It might end up saving possible court costs down the road in the event of the adults' relationships changing. Might save some heartache. You might not ever need it, but if you do...

Good luck with this and please keep us posted. It's exciting!

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline pozcanuk

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  • Posts: 18
Re: Making babies ... take 2
« Reply #6 on: August 30, 2009, 12:12:07 PM »
Hi Ann,

Thanks for the well wishes!!!  Yes, you are correct in thinking the two ladies are a couple.  The face of what a family is sure has changed over the last while.  Even with myself growing up, I didnt have the most common family in town as my grandparents lived with us for 3-5 days of the week.  I loved it!

We are discussing everything from holidays to custody and schooling (catholic, private or public).  There are a few things that I am set in stone with ... if its a boy, no circumcision and baby cant be named after fruit, cities, weather or some of these other cock-amamie things! lol.  Once we discuss and work it all out, we are going to have documents drawn up to protect everyone ... I think it is most fair for all involved ... esp little one!

I will absolutely keep you all posted!  The amount of support and info I have received here has been a guiding light in getting me to where I am now presently.  I am more appreciative than words can say!

Hopeful Dad 2 B!


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