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Author Topic: Couple with risk question!  (Read 2124 times)

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Offline acoupleinneed

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Couple with risk question!
« on: August 17, 2009, 10:02:01 PM »
Hey Gang,

I am a gay male and recently I have become involved with another man. Despite our differing statusí (Iím HIV negative) I want to continue our relationship. We became intimate for the first time yesterday and I wish to know if what we are doing is really safe sex. We have not had any anal or oral sex and do not plan to for awhile. Of course we will use protection when we do. Yesterday we made out for a few hours pretty non-stop. The kissing was very deep and we got into it pretty heavily. We also touched each others genitals, even masturbating each other briefly and Iím sure there was some pre-cum. We finished by humping each other with our shorts on until cumming. Are any of these activities a risk, even with an HIV positive person? Like I said things got really hot and there was a lot of sweat and our shirts were off, so our bodies were rubbing. Do these activities warrant testing? If not, then I assume they are completely safe?  One more thing, while we were kissing a small pimple in the corner of his mouth popped. I was not concerned with this at the time but now I am wondering about it. Thank you so much!

Offline Ann

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Re: Couple with risk question!
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2009, 10:13:30 PM »

Sexually speaking, the only confirmed risks are UNPROTECTED anal or vaginal intercourse. Kissing is not a risk. Sweating on each other is not a risk. Popped pimples are not a risk. Masturbation is not a risk. Touching each other's dicks is not a risk. Humping is not a risk.

You haven't had a risk.

As long as you're using condoms for anal intercourse, you've not going to have a problem. There have been long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple! Read through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline acoupleinneed

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Re: Couple with risk question!
« Reply #2 on: August 18, 2009, 12:18:21 AM »

Thank you so much for the quick reply. I know the idea of the pimple seems very silly, but I was thinking if the blood or puss from it would have entered my mouth then maybe there would be a risk. The internet seems to have a mix of opinions regarding deep kissing and genital touching, it's very confusing. Thanks again, and any further advice would be deeply appreciated.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Couple with risk question!
« Reply #3 on: August 18, 2009, 07:45:25 AM »
Ann has really covered the essentials for you about how to maintain your sero-negative status.

It's not complicated to do. You just have to be consistent in using condoms.
There are many thousands of sero-discordant couples having good lives together including sexually. Feelings are important and need to be respected. Along with the precautions she mentioned you can help to maintain and deepen intimacy and your enjoyment of each other by talking honestly together (without dumping!).


Andy Velez


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