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Author Topic: Possible HIV infection...  (Read 1955 times)

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Offline ryanb77

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Possible HIV infection...
« on: July 16, 2009, 11:26:42 AM »
I am a gay male who has been seeing someone that is HIV+ for the last 2 years. We have always been safe, and I have been tested numerous times to confirm this. He has been taking medication for years, and is always on top of his viral load and numbers. He is undetectable each time he goes, but I realize that does not mean he can't infect someone. The other night, a mistake happened and we both feel bad about it. I am the receptive partner for anal sex. He had his penis (without a condom on) in me, however he pulled out minutes before he fully ejaculated. Now I know this is not "safe sex" even though he pulled out. I am aware that HIV can be transmitted through pre-cum alone. I was wondering if you can let me know the actual risk since a) he has his HIV under control with medication, b) he did not fully ejaculate in me (he never has)., and c) lots of lube was used (if mixed with pre-cum does that reduce the risk since I know it is a very hard virus to get with additional elements, like lube, air exposure, etc...). I would just like some advice on this. I am going to get tested obviously in 6 weeks, but I would just like to know some statistics I guess... I realize if he fully ejaculated in me numerous times, the risk would be WAY higher, but I also know this also has a risk. Any advice would help...

Thank you.

Offline Ann

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Re: Possible HIV infection...
« Reply #1 on: July 16, 2009, 11:56:01 AM »

We don't go by statistics here. Statistically speaking, I shouldn't be poz, but I am. Statistics mean nothing when looking at individual cases.

Your risk is at the lower end of the scale, for all three reasons you list. The most important one is that he has been undetectable for years. There have been studies where het couples attempted to get pregnant when the man was undetectable (for at least six months) and the woman hiv neg, and the results have been very encouraging. However, this looked at vaginal intercourse only. The anal cavity is much more susceptible to damage than the vagina and damage means more risk. You used plenty of lube, which would help reduce or even eliminate damage. It's also very important that neither of you have other pre-existing, untreated STIs as these would also increase the risk.

You're right to get tested in six weeks. In this case I wouldn't worry too much, but only testing will tell you for sure. This is one of those cases where you're going to have to decide where your own comfort level lies.

Good luck.

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Offline ryanb77

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Re: Possible HIV infection...
« Reply #2 on: July 16, 2009, 05:51:21 PM »

I appreciate your input. I start looking at different websites and it's crazy, some people say one thing and others say another. The way I felt was exactly what you said... lower risk than some other cases. I will get tested in 6 weeks and hope things work out in my favor.


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